I was clean for a good time.

I'm 32, single man, with a girlfriend.

I have fallen last for five months into pornography and now i have six on the fight.

I have faced a month which I fall into temptation again.

I want an extra help.

jovenconfundido te voy a contestar en breve. Haz hecho un gran paso en escribir en este forum . No Dejes de escribir porque la coneccion con el resto del grupo es vital para tu recuperacion . Aparte tienes que exponerte un poco mas , decir mas de tu historia , por ejemplo que paso hasta la edad de 32. No vas a oir de mi porque voy a estar viajando al exterior y estare ausente . pero espero que sigas "posting " , hay mucha gente aqui que estan dispuestas y te pueden ayudar . por supuesto que seguiras escribiendo en ingles todos tienen que entender tus forums , pero por el titulo que te diste tome la oportunidad de escribir en espanol. Te dejo ahora estoy seguro que en los proximos dias vas a recibir replies de la gente , estaras en buenas manos , Shana Tova y exito

Really?????????????
Who would've thunk? :-)

As many, I used to be some curious, and I have fallen into touching my intimate parts. Masturbating. Now this is not the main problem.

I have fallen for about five months into pornography and now.
I have six on the fight.

I have faced a month which I fall into temptation again.

Since then just a small fall watching Tv. for about 3 minutes.

I'm having help but I want an extra help.

I'm avoiding to bother my girlfriend whit my problems, at this point she must not deal with it. She now that I'm on this fight.

Now my questions are:

Is it normal to have (more than the emotional) desire (intimate) about my girlfriend?
Is it wrong to have sometimes fantasies with her?

and regarding touching the my private parts...

I now is wrong, I'm avoiding during the day and when conscious, but sometimes I have fallen into the practice at night into a almost sleeping and a lithe conscious. I recognize that in some times I go to bed with body desires and thinking with my girlfriend.

I'm not happy with it (touching myself) but I think is wrong doing it willingly, awaken, and conscious. Is it too wrong?

Please share your and suggestions.

Welcome, UnJovenConfundido!

No specific suggestions, just to wish you much success on your journey to sanity!

UJC lets make some order . How long have you had this issues of touching , etc. just last year ? before last year did you have any of these problems ? what kind of help do you get from your religious group ? is it a rabbi ? somebody competent ? have you read , downloaded the GYE hand book ? there are many tools and ideas you can start working on .

About Pornography that was for periods of time.
first la little while teen between 15 and 19. Once or twice by year. Some years clean.

It was the same for the 20's.

On the 29's I have fallen again on porn this for about two months.

I leave it, but almost a year before I have fallen again, it was the worse of my problem. twice a week, around 3 hours each.

Since then I asked help for my Rabbi, he stay in contact with me and ask me about it.

I spend two months clean, one with problems, twice each 2 weeks, in total 3 times, for about 30 minutes.
After that other month clean, a small fallen with TV, 2 scenes less than 3 minutes, and now clean for about 1 and half month.

I have setup a firewall on my computer which have been a very good tool.
I use K9, is useful.

Regarding Masturbation, this problem was most when I was teen, a little on 20's almost nothing.

Now on my last fallen on porn since then by 5 months, 6 times willingly. In the last 3 months not willingly, but sometimes while sleeping, between sleeping and conscious.
I have a girlfriend, sometimes i go to bed thinking on she.

Respectfully...

Can someone tell me?

About the 90 days program...

days clean are without seen porn right? and mastur... willingly?

what about mastu... while sleeping? is that considered a hummed dream or a fall for start the count again?

thanks for sharing . In your clean periods what did you do to stay clean . it was something you did ? and what is going on now ? can you stop now ? Have you read the GYE handbook ? there are many tools there . Also you may want to subscribe to the chizuk emails there is wonderful stuff there .

I'm on following the program.

Like I said I have a girlfriend, she nows, that I'm on the fight, but I don't want to bother her with all the details.

I still some curious, I have left of use facebook, I did not do nothing there, but social networks create dependency toward Internet,

I had to renounce to freely search on internet, my firewall is setup for avoid it.

I want to get completely clean, because I now God will not accept dirty worship.
And also I want to enjoy my future wife, without deceiving her...

Just here to welcome you.

I posted on your other thread but I'll briefly repeat here. Doing it in your sleep is not considered a fall.
But by the 90 day program I am not sure. You can email guard.

You have to TAKE A BIG DEEP BREATH. God loves unconditionally. You can't be so hard on yourself! It really won't help! We are human, we make mistakes. The past happened! Now move on!

WELCOME!!!!

Its great to have you here with us. Wishing you lots of success on the road to recovery.

Keep in touch. and Keep on posting(kop).

Can you clarify a couple of things?

1. Do you and your girlfriend have a physical relationship?

2. What do you mean when you say "Is it wrong to have sometimes fantasies with her?"
Are you saying that you fantasize about her when you are not with her, or are you saying that when you have sex with her you are fantasizing about something else?

3. Why is she not your wife?

AlexEliezer wrote:


Good questions.

Regardin' # 2, I think he meant that he fantasizes about her, but I guess we will wait till he answers himself and clarifies.