For the last week I have experienced a trough and crawled the rabbit holes I. The wrong way due to my aching knees my boredom at times at work and having too much time alone .I fam climbing my way out but it’s a day to day struggle 

WOW 4216!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what an inspiration!!!! that's almost 12 years!!!!!!!!!!!!! yikes!!!!!! it's powerful to see that your still never sure of yourself, wishing you continued growth!!!

I realize that when you go down the rabbit holes, you can hit a temporary bottom  but you can always pick up yourself up and move forward . Without GYE, I would be absolutely stuck in the rabbit hole. 

Like any sugya in Shas,every issue you face in life requires Chazarah. When you go down the rabbit hole as I have occasionally, I go back to His Final Mission by R D Avraham Twerski ZL ZYA, without whom none of us would be here and realize that focusing on my Dveikus BaHaShem is the Ikar. That is how I pick myself up from the mud when I go down a rabbit hole