Hi!

I'm a yeshiva bochur that's been
Struggling for a bit with masturbation.
B'h pornography isn't a issue for me.
It's just the desire to masturbate.
Everytime I fall I just get so upset at myself.
I'm at the point of giving up. I just
Heard a pshat which didn't allow
Me to give up. It says that when the Jews
Left Egypt they were at the
Mem Tes (49 th) level of tumah
The question is it says that the Jews were involved
In all sorts of forbidden relationships and disgusting
Acts so what nun (50 th) level of tumah be like?
So I heard nun is yeiush when you give up.

I'm almost there I'm disgusted at myself and have been thinking for
A while now that I gotta join and start 90 clean days
I just started I hope god gives me the strength to pull through.
Thank you for having such a wonderful site

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful vort.
WE CANNOT GIVE UP
WE HAVE A SYING HERE

KEEP ON TRUCKKKKKKKKKKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

IT'S GRE8 TO HAVE YOU HERE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET STARTED?
Read the handbook, it's GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I also started with masturbation before I was hooked on porn. It's not geshmak to be hooked on porn. don't even think of starting


SO LET'S GO

WELCOME ABOARD THE GYE CRUISE where we're allin the same boat, the boat of ani kirvas elokim li tov.

ENJOY THE RIDE

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Thank you!!
I started a 90 day chart. Your post makes it sound as we got a gye camp theme song I'm starting yeshiva soon so the first few days will be easy to stay away from mastrubation. The week after will be very hard but I've got faith in myself. I'm starting a personal Halacha Seder and starting to work out so I don't have too much free time.

Helpmrstop - kudos on the 90 day chart, but on its own then it just becomes a battle of will. There is so much more. See what resonates for you and helps you change your outlook.
Good luck!

My will is at it's all time high. I know there will be pitfalls. But I will not give in. I will pray and try my hardest. If I do fall ( which I wont) i won't get depressed

PERSONAL SEDARIM ARE GOOD

IN CHABAD WE HAVE PUBLIC SEDARIM

KOL DICHFIN!

LEARNING HALACHA IS AWESOME

BUT WHEN I WAS IN YESHIVA [I am still, but i mean back in the day, y'know, when I was still learning ah Yiddish vort] MY PERSONAL HALACHA SEDER ENDED UP BEING A PERSONAL ISOLATION TIME. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEARN IN BEIS MEDRASH SO THAT NO ONE SHOULD BOTHER ME [also that chas veshalom people shouldn't see how much i'm learning- because I want to be an anav (uh huh!)] I SPENT LONG HOURS IN THE DORMITORY SOMETIMES LEARNING OTHER TIMES MASTURBATING AND FANTASIZING

TIP: LEARN IN BEIS MEDRASH, HANG OUT WITH BACHURIM.

I agree. I learnt that the hard way that I gotta be away from lone time in the dormitory

Just a technical note:

Helpmrstop22 wrote:



Where Does it say that they were involved in forbidden relationships??
Just the opposite! the chazal say- (its brought in Rashi)
שלא היו בני ישראל חשודין בעריות כלל
שהרי אחת היתה שלומית בת דברי שקלקלה ופרסמה הכתוב
And the zohar says even more that not only were they not involved in znus - but no Jewish woman married an Egyptian man during all the years that they were in Mitzraim, (even though it was before Matan Torah).

But your vort is still Good - "yiush" brings a person into the worsed places!

Keep strong, stay pure!

Thanks for your feedback in the vort. I'm gonna look up the vort again. It was from r' tzadok

Helpmrstop22 wrote:


I found the following in R' Tzadok's Sefer (machshevos charutz - page lamed dalet in the old print. I'm not sure if it's the one you meant.
"Moshe Rabeinu was afraid that Am yisroel would not believe that he was sent to redeem them from Mitzrayim, because he was afraid that they were already in the 50th shaar of tumah".

So we can interpret these words of R' Tzadok to mean that the definition of the 50th shaar is where the person is in such a state that he does not believe that there's any hope left for him.
Like you wrote that Yiush is the lowest point possible.

(so even though he doesn't mention about forbidden relationships, the Actual Vort you were trying to bring out is still there.)

Beautiful Vort.

Well done for joining us !!

From my own experience, the most important thing is to work on the root causes. Why are you getting upset? You need to learn to react in different, productive ways. It is not enough to say "No" to masturbation. You have to learn to say "YES" to Hashem.

Learn to accept Hashem's will when you are stressed. Learn to be happy with what Hashem gives you. Learn to speak to Hashem. Then you will have no need to masturbate!

Keep on talking to us on the forum. Don't worry about the occasional fall. Just learn to change your direction.

Thinking of you! Don't give up! Hashem is with you!

Welcome aboard. loads of hatzlacha.
you are fortunate that you have found a way to combat this at such an early stage of your life and your development.
Keep strong. Keep connected.
This is a great place to be. Hopefully you will feel that you are not alone in this battle but have a battlefield of soldiers all around you in the trenches.

Imperfection wrote:

When I first joined the forum the above was gibberish to me. Breslovers need to talk to Hashem. Not regular people. But now I firmly believe it and have seen the wonders a spiritual lifestyle can bring about.
So even if you don't quite understand what Imperfection wrote, please read what
he wrote afterwards, he wrote:

shivisi wrote:
I think I saw it in a pesach Sefer by r avrohom shor. He quoted r tzodok. You sound like a awesome Talmid Chacham. I wish I could learn with you

Hello

Going on day 2 today!

My hardest times that I really need major siyata dishmaya is when I get into bed at night and getting out bed in the morning. I'm very scared of those 2 times. Any tips on those 2 specific times would be appreciated.