Hello.
I found the "wonders" of the internet at the age of 13, but it wasn't for another two years until I Masturbated for the first time. After that, I couldn't stop for nearly a year and a half, until two months ago, when I decided I need to stop.
My addiction took a big part of my life. Whenever I had a hard time doing my homework, whenever I felt bored, I locked myself in the toilet and the rest goes without saying... the worst though, was on Sabbath, because then there is no school. I had a very big "Masber Emony" After my bar mitzva, so using my phone on Shabbat in order to look up porn on the internet wasn't a big deal for me, and until today I feel distanced from Judaism and Mitzvot.
So I decided to stop. I realized I couldn't let me urges control me. I was clean for almost a month, but then I fell. then I found this website. I went clean for another two weeks, but I couldn't incorporate any of the ideas in the guide into my everyday life. I was bored, so I fell again. I then tried stopping a couple more times but every week looked like this-
Sat.: decide to stop. Sun.: clean. Mon.: clean. Tue.: I'm bored so I fall. Wed.: affected from yesterday, I fall again. Thus.: I want to reset my 90 day calendar, but if I do so it won't be aesthetic, so i let myself fall. Fri.: Meh, what the hell... i'll stop tomorrow...
Now I really want to stop, I just don't know how. This is my first time writing here, so please, I need all the help I can get.
Thank you.
