Thank You, Shivisi, for clarifying, there was a bit of misunderstanding there, it's all much clearer for me now, thanks.

Hope to see you around!!!

I apologize if you took what I said in the wrong way, Pidaini told me he was under the impression that I'm chas veshalom attacking you.

I remember when I was a newcomer most of what Dov said went straight over my head, was just trying to explain, I may have made it more complicated.

Also, I wanted to admit that I have also searched in the past for "juicy" stories on GYE to feed my lust. Please don't get offended Guard, nothing here triggered me, point is I WAS triggered and on the site so I looked around for things to feed the lust.

NOTHING you will do will keep me from holding on to my "triggerdity" when I want to. Hire another thousand moderators, won't help.

Apologies accepted

Hey!! forget GYE triggers.... this should be moved to the TRIGGERS!!! thread in the "just having fun" section, guard was triggered to post!!!!

I do appreciate your problem.

I just try to skip these triggering spots.

It's part of trying to work on myself rather than blaming the whole world for my problems.

It is of course within the nature of such a site that there may be pitfalls - that is why there is a warning before entering.

I have found that even when I avoid "bad" sites, the Yetzer Horo has found ways to find triggers even in "kosher" sites, and even in Torah!

That is why the only "solution" (or better said, way of life) is to work on oneself.

Even GYE is not a solution!! The solution is to find Hashem in our lives.

Having said that, we must be careful what we write ( that is actually part of the Forum rules). We must also accept people and the need to open out ( otherwise there would be no point in having a Forum!!)

Hatzlocho!

Thank you for being honest!

Pidaini wrote:


To my shame I have also studied Torah in order to break the Law. For instance when I found out that neglect of some mitzvah like saying Amida is not as severe as violating a prohibition leading to kares -- I use it to justify my laziness.

But m. is a very severe sin -- much much more severe then laziness.

R76 - you again focus on sin. This is part of a long history of yours here. I suggested in the past that you are twisting yiddishkeit (and your concept of G-d itself) into something that is all about sinning vs. not sinning. May G-d help save you from sin. Meaning: from living and seeing everything within the context of 'sin'. Blyech!

As I have written to you before, many tzaddikim tell us that what we focus on is how we see things and becomes the way G-d Himself interacts with us. The way we choose to see things becomes our reality. You consistently choose shame. Your negative thinking and negative self-assessment is really just a way to blame the Torah over and over - and it I am sorry but it is not Judaism, but just self-absorbed nonsense.

I do not know what you really want. But if you really want to live a better life without dependence on self-pleasuring with your porn and your masturbation, then quit your sin-thinking and sin-talking and please become willing to find the G-d of Life. Your focus on sinning and not sinning is not life. Hashem asks us in His Torah to choose Life.[/i]

You are not doing that yet.

Dov wrote:


Definitely a tzaddik focuses on positive aspects of Torah and life. But many people are only held off from wrongdoing by the fear of punishment. Even though this is not an ideal, it is still better then someone who has no fear -- such as myself from February 1994 to September 2013 or millions Reform and Conservative Jews. I am not from an observant background.

Most of those who break secular society's law study the penal codes to find out how severe the consequences they are risking. If the consequences are not that bad, they give in to temptation.

I understand that my level is very very far from ideal.

Pidaini wrote:


I was clean May '92 to Feb 4 '94, then I fell and did not try to stop my sin until October 1, '13. Strange as it is one of the reasons for my fall on Feb 4 '94 was that I read about Teshuva. It had no sexual elements, but I misunderstood the whole concept. Now I understand that Teshuva is a very difficult process.

My level is far from ideal in every respect, too. But it seems to me that you are not hearing a word i am saying.

But I can't bear to be upset in the slightest over it - for you wrote you are going to that appointment in 2 weeks and i am so happy for you my friend!

Dov wrote:


I do not know. Possibly my approach is best for me as I know myself better then anyone else. Or maybe I do not understand some basic concepts in Judaism.

Ask your therapist about that. The reason ANYONE goes to a therapist is precisely because the therapist has one very special criterion: he is not ourselves. The very thing that hampers us from giving ourselves the 'right' advice is that we are thinking from within our own heads. We rationalize, lie to ourselves and manipulate others - and none of that is evil! It is all just our coping and survival mechanisms.

So yes, we go to a rabbi or therapist instead of to anyone else because they are 'extperts'. But the main advantage they have over us in giving us advice, is that they are not us. A confused person simply does not see him or her self accurately.

Dov wrote:


Dov, you inspire me, you explain things to clearly and calm..and every word is gold!

I have this trigger gye thing as well, and i just now figure out , that when i WANT to get help , looking to improve- the gye is perfect. But when i'm already triggered and wild to find something else to trigger - and all my electr.devices are filtered,blocked and watched - than i use the gye as cheap substitute to a trigger .(same when i can't access lust sites and even woman faces trigger me! (Shame on me)

I have to take resposibility over my actions, i can't just relay on filters and chat frinds or whatever...that's gevaldig!

Thanks, Dov!