Publicly admitting that I have committed sexual transgressions. I know 75% of modern men have committed the same sins but it is still very difficult to talk about the issues.

I have survived for 18 years without my favorite seafood (except once in '04), without Kentucky Fried Chicken and without beef jerky. I have also kept the Sabbath (mostly). But that issue...

Embarrassing to talk about where and with whom? Online? With a stranger? At a SA group? With a doctor? With your sponsor?

I say be as honest as possible on GYE or with your doctor or who ever is suppose to help you.

Yes, of course I find this subject embarassing! After all, I have done some pretty stupid things over the last several years! So it is embarrasing to talk about it with people, but I find that it is necessary to open up and talk about embarrassing things that I have done (with safe people), in order to put it behind me and stay in recovery mode.

Does that make sense?

Before I have destroyed my magazine collection, I was not embarrassed to brag about them. But now, I am trying to become more observant. It is hard to admit to any wrong.

mazel tov on destroying your collection, the next step is not to build a new one. I remember a long time ago, before I was religious, realizing porn wasn't healthy for me, I would delete my vast collection of pornography from my computer, only to build a new one shortly after that.

You don't need the porn!

yes..that is a pleasant thought...how many times I would wipe the exterior hard drive clean, and then refill it....ah, such nachas! kenainahara

hi !
very true that this is very embarrassing topic . but we all are coming here because we are all in the same boat. and after all its way more embarrassing if we dont take care of this. self embarrassment is much deeper then being embarrassed by some people on line you have the same issues and proud to be working on getting rid of them.
koltuv!

R76 wrote:

Because observant people are perfect in every way, right?
See all these orthodox Jews here on this forum who are chonic porners and masturbaters? Everyone has their issues and problems, religious or not. What we need is just simple honesty. Otherwise the secret problems will remain.

cordnoy wrote:


that sounds so recognizable. Even so with videos from sites that offered them in the way that youtube also does, I watched them and cleared my browsers cache later on. That is more or less the same thing.

tryingtoshteig wrote:


The good thing about this place is that we are all in the same boat, so no one will condemn another for having watched porn, as we have all done it. And we know it isn't good, that is why we try to be strong and stay clean. Honesty is a good thing indeed. Keeping it secret is the devil's tool in keeping you in sin. The truth will set free.

"Nobody's perfect" may be a cliche, but it's 100% true. And just because someone is more religious doesn't mean they're automatically fully righteous either... indeed, from what I have learned, becoming more religious moves the proverbial bar higher... i.e. Hashem exects more of such a person because they should know better being more religious. Hence, while no one should ever be arrogant, being arrogant because of one's increased religious observance is all the more so wrong.

Understandably, in general, hardly anyone wants to be embarrassed... however, when it comes to something like a lust problem, you have to hard, straight decision to make: what is worse for me - some embarrassment in the short term, or a long-term lusting problem? If one is able to soberly consider that question, then the answer usually is quite obvious... even if it is hard to implement anti-lusting efforts.

Iy"H, everyone should have a good day.

>> mazel tov on destroying your collection, the next step is not to build a new one.

As I have been addiction -- free for 113 days so far I do not ``need" a new collection. I hope I never do. My table in which the collection resided is now the home of Licorice tablets which reduce the drive...

tryingtoshteig wrote:


I do not know. It is very easy for me to talk about the wrongs/abuses I have suffered from others. Admitting my own faults is very hard.

DanielTeshuva wrote:


Definitely. We all have sinned before G-d. I can not call myself an Orthodox observant Jew -- I am Conservadox. I agree with Orthodox Judaism in theory, but in practice I am not 100% observant. I do mostly observe Sabbath and kosher and say some daily prayers.