tryingtoshteig wrote:


Cute story, thanks for sharing and b"h everything worked out well.

Yes and no, it did answer the question of who is in control, but didn't answer the question of WHAT is being "controlled", I don't believe the 12 steps is advocating that we live life passively and just let things "happen" (or is it?), I also don't believe the 12 steps is helping people realize that they can't change the past (or is it?), there is a certain level of control we have to take over our lives, what is that level? At what point do we say "I have to do something about this" and at what point do we say "this is in hashem's hands"?

smiley1900


You are right. I can only give my perspective based on my experiences, and those that others have shared with me on this site. If it helps, that is great. If not, don't mind me. What do I know?

OK, people, big news! I discovered what I think my addiction is and I'm beginning to learn how to recover from it.

It is called an "Emotional Addiction" and it means that I am obsessed with feeling certain ways at certain times and can't function until I get a "fix" that will give me the feeling I want to feel. My research on the subject of emotional addiction is in its early stages but it seems that awareness is one of the keys of recovery, so I guess I'm already on my way to recovery...

Now, I'd better stop posting here otherwise I'd be feeding my addiction...

Gut Yom Tov to all!

Yes, it all makes sense now, obsession of the mind, allergy of the body. Triggers are everywhere and come more often than the clock ticks... If you think this sounds strange, be happy you are on the other side of the addiction fence on this one, if you haven't experienced it you won't understand... (Sounds familiar?)

I'm still debating whether to approach this as an overeating addiction, or a breathing "addiction"...
Either way, it's not a lust addiction, so I guess this part of my journey is not so relevant to this forum...

Hatzlacha!

Just to state the obvious, you still have a p and m problem, whether or not it's an addiction doesn't make such a difference.You should probably still hang around with us.

I'm not sure what a breathing addiction is, but I wish you hatzlacha as well.

Hatzlacha!

smiley1900 wrote:

Does the name of the thread get changed now?

inastruggle wrote:


No, it isn't obvious, because the way I see it, my problem has nothing to do with p and m (or any other specific "addiction") and I haven't had a problem keeping to the chart (I've never tried stopping before), my problem is with twisted mindsets that lead me to justify acting out (and other unhealthy behaviors) under certain circumstances, I don't have a problem with controlling myself when I want to, I have a problem with my mind going off track and justifying unhealthy behavior because I'm in (what I perceive to be) a difficult situation.
But you're right that I should probably stick around just to keep myself in check and keep my mind from straying...

A breathing addiction is an addiction we are all plagued with and there is no way to treat it, only to let it express itself in the most healthy way possible...

I'll iy"h stick around until my obsession with this place starts becoming a real problem, either for me or for others...

Thanks for your support!

tehillimzugger wrote:


Not until I've confirmed that this is a real addiction. I mean, c'mon, "emotional addiction"? What else are they gonna come up with? Sounds almost as absurd as a "breathing addiction"! Yeah, it's true that I'm obsessed with feeling certain ways at certain times, but that comes from being deprived of healthy expressions of these emotions, does that justify inappropriate or unhealthy behavior? No, and that's what brought me here. Does is justify me living an unfulfilling life? No, and I'm working on that. But does that make me an "addict" of any sort? The question still remains. If just the awareness of my condition is enough to treat it and its harmful effect on my life, I would hardly consider that an "addiction", would you?

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with the concept of addiction, maybe I have an "addiction addiction"... :D

God almighty have pity on my complicated personality... (Who was the famous philosopher who said, "get married, if it works out you'll be happy, if not you'll be a philosopher...")

OK, I have a funny feeling I'm not really getting anywhere here, I should probably speak with somebody who actually knows what their talking about before my "breathing addiction" gets out of hand... (I'm sure you're all thinking this but weren't sure how to say it...)

Thanks for sticking around and dealing with my shenanigans...

OK, here is the latest from the "Smiley philosophy production facility (aka my brainy brain)":

Last week it was an "Emotional Addiction", it then turned into a "Problem Solving Addiction" (didn't post about that one), and today it is a "Fantasy Addiction". Apparently, my addictive personality adapts to my circumstances and so does the object of my obsession, here is the new title: "Rotating Addiction". This is not entirely a personality thing though, because I see very clearly that a lot of the circumstances which affect my obsession are events that occur outside of me and over which I have no control (kid acting up in school, family member creating a scene in my home, family wedding and family interaction, some kind of fancy dressing in the chassuna food that knocked me out). Apparently, also, my problems don't come at me one at a time, or even as related problems, they come in the form of multiple, sometimes many, unrelated problems all coming to a head at the same time. Which makes it very hard to deal with.

I would think that this phenomena suggests that I should just forget about my problems and do what I need to do, the problem is that I've been trying that for the past 15 years unsuccessfully, so while dealing with problems is difficult and sometimes overwhelming, I don't really have a choice, because however unproductive my life is while battling the never ending influx of problems, just letting them be is not the answer. My approach in this battle is both offensive and defensive, or proactive and reactive, I am constantly looking for ways to reinforce myself and make myself stronger, physically, emotionally and mentally, I am constantly on the lookout for triggers that will weaken me physically, emotionally or mentally, and when problems do arise I dissect the situation and try to deal with the problems as effectively as possible under the circumstances, usually by sorting them in order of most overwhelming ones first. Usually by the time I am done stabilizing the situation and I can catch my breath for a few seconds, the next wave of problems comes storming in. Apparently, hashem has lots of confidence in me, otherwise, some of this stuff makes no sense at all. I try not to disappoint him...
The hardest part of all this is the physical loneliness, maybe I have to strengthen my connection to hashem and then I won't feel so lonely, or maybe I have to stop trying to force the circle to fit into the square (a circle can easily fit THROUGH a square, but not INTO a square)...

I look forward to the day that I will have enough of a handle on myself and my problems to be able to be productive by "normal" standards, and not be so overwhelmed. Or even better, I am looking forward to the day when this world will be a better place and all our problems will be gone, with moshiach tzidkeinu bekorov.

smiley1900 wrote:


Hey!
Shout out to DMS.
Isn't this what you have?

I am so confused. Too much thinking for me. I think this fella has an "overthinking addiction."

My breathing is not the addiction, it is the solution! In that if i don't breathe i will die! (in more ways than one! ) Our minds sometimes, perhaps a lot of times, go crazy! We just gotta take a chill pill, (only a chill pill, please not any other pill) take a deep breath and say HI to Hashem!

So if you call that a breathing addiction because I NEED to do it to survive then surely it is a breathing addiction. If you call it a breathing a addiction because I love to be stress free then surely it is a breathing addiction. Is there a BA?