That was truly amazing. Remember you said it here. Remind yourself all the time of this. Now I think that besides reaching out to your fellow Jews, which is a wonderful idea, you should also reach out to Hashem. He can be a huge help as well.

Thanks to all for your words of encouragement and especially to pischoshelmacha. I now have your numbers...will probably be a bit more time before I actually call. Perhaps its ego (most likely)...but is a monumental step for me to actually admit to another human being that I have a problem that I cant beat by myself. I know that sounds strange...but is just so against my persona...and also will make this whole "adventure" so much more real. It's relatively easy to do this from behind the screen...stepping into the light makes it tangible.

Gibbor, I appreciate your story and similarities...I stand in awe of those that have overcome this...and hope to join your ranks...it just seems like an impossibility for me.

Regarding last post regarding reaching out for hashem...not really sure I get that...I daven three times a day (not all with minyans)...but ask God at every shimona esraei to help me overcome this challenge. Yes I just rattle off the words...but I still ask...what does reaching out to hashem mean to you? He knows my struggle...created the good and not so good parts of me...

On a positive note...almost 48 hours clean...I think because I don't want to tell my new phone buddy that I have failed...so trying to get a streak going....so that's good news....

Hoping this effort pays off...feel like I have been down this road before and I am digging at the seashore....

This Tortured soul looks for daylight....

Checkout this thread to get a little of what I mean by reaching out to Hashem.

For me it means opening up to what He is giving me. It means turning to Him with my problems and concerns. It also means asking for His help in my moments of weakness. More than just shmoneh esrei.

Pidaini put it better than I can, so read the thread above.

Hi I am new to the forum.

Let me begin by telling my story. As a child I would constantly look at things to get me aroused. It started with the NY Post then as I got older, it continued to tabloids, then to porn magazines, videos, internet sites and even to strip clubs to get dances a few times. I have called women to meet up, but luckily have never been actually involved with one.

As time went on, I got married to a wonderful wife, and have excellent children.

I find my self to be able to lay low for long periods of time. I am able to hold back from viewing inappropriate material, and even restrict myself from visiting youtube. But, when things start to get quiet at work and I have time to spare, find myself slowly going to view inappropriate materials.

I tend to think of myself as being able to break free, but just need the push to finally do it.

My personal sex life is what it seems like many people on this forum experience. My wife is usually uninterested, and even when we do it, it is extremely difficult to get her to enjoy. I cant remember her going over the top in years.

From the forum, it seems like my issue with viewing inappropriate materiel may be the cause for my problems in bed.

I feel uncomfortable writing this, but I hope it can be the beginning of the end for me.

Trying2bgr8,

Welcome! You came to the right place.

I definitely relate to having the urge to go look at shmutz websites when things get quiet at work. The urge did not even go away after I was fired from a job for that very reason. Thank G-d, I have made some better choices over the last several months of how to spend my slower days at work. B'ezras Hashem, you can and will make some real changes.

Nice meeting you, keep on posting!!

P.S. You may want to consider starting your very own thread, it's free!

I am not sure if my post is supposed to be in the married section. Please advise

Welcome trying2bg8,

You are not alone. My name is Eli.

It's entirely feasible that your bedroom problems are lust related but they also can be relationship related (which can also be lust related).

How's the shalom bayis?

Welcome Trying...hope your journey is a success!

Solid 72 hours...feel up...spirit feels differant..went to minyan three days in a row. I have been spending more time on this site...and started watching a shiur by Rabbi Wallenstein about additive behavior that was linked here by someone...thank you for that.

I came to a realization that there is no magic bullet...I have been seeking the unicorn hopeing that if I only had the medicine I could beat this thing....I now am coming to the realization that it is a life long battle that gets won in the trenches daily.

I worry about that today/now I am on a good streak...but I also know the Yetzer will come back and I will likely fail and get dragged back down...that depresses me.

Why cant I understand that as tempting and how amazing it feels at the time...the moment it is over the wave of guilt and self laothing washes over me. Why for an intelligent person (I think I am)...cant I make that mental jump...and realize this is just not worth it?

I really enjoy reading the material Dov writes...very helpful

Shabbat Shalom

Nachdhon, I just wanted to say that just by reading how you keep getting up after you fall is inspiring. You say You keep writing that the Y"H is around the corner. Stop! Remember it's one day at a time; you can't control tomorrow today. I can't tell you how many falls I've experienced because of that. As far as your ex, I believe there is one answer to that and your know that. It sounds like a tough situation but you can do it!!

I am going to be somewhere on Shabbos that will expose me to seeing people that may arouse me. Looking for some advice and chizuk

Think of how awesome you will feel after shabbos if you dont follow your lust. can you visualize it? Can you feel the thankfulness and joy?

Then daven really hard.

Eli

Welcome to GYE!

I am sinful in almost every way -- not just this way. I say few of the required prayers, although I mostly keep Sabbath and Holidays.

I had inappropriate magazines but I threw them away.

Looks like I made it through Saturday night...which is usually when I fall. Am going on 96 hours...(4 days)....when I write this doesn't seem like much...and nothing to "brag about"!

Have this sense that I hope I have turned the corner...not sure I have since I have been here before...

What have others done to be successful other than posting...the site can be overwhelming with all of the resources.

Thanks again to all for your support.

Nachshon

Have you ever considered marital therapy?

You wrote in part:

"Let me begin by telling my story. As a child I would constantly look at things to get me aroused. It started with the NY Post then as I got older, it continued to tabloids, then to porn magazines, videos, internet sites and even to strip clubs to get dances a few times. I have called women to meet up, but luckily have never been actually involved with one.

As time went on, I got married to a wonderful wife, and have excellent children.

I find my self to be able to lay low for long periods of time. I am able to hold back from viewing inappropriate material, and even restrict myself from visiting youtube. But, when things start to get quiet at work and I have time to spare, find myself slowly going to view inappropriate materials."

Take it from someone who has watched, read, downloaded and written porn as an escape since his adolescence until just after Shabbos Nachamu-and I have been clean since thanks to my Eshes Chayil, a great therapist and this awesome website-porn and masturbation are just a substitution for real physical intimacy which begins with emotional intimacy. Every day, I remind myself that I have a great wife, a wonderful familly and grandchildren, and that I love to learn Torah-why would I let a cheap substitute and false depiction of how the genders are supposed to act distort my vision?