Twiddledooleedoo!
mazel tov to you!

HOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

May it be the beginning of the 90,90,90 of 90 days!!!

Continued hatzlachah!

No lookin' back!

Onward!

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and advice (and all the rest of the strange stuff y'all do).

"Mesirus nefesh is not about giving up one's life. There is something more dear to a person than that. Mesirus nefesh is giving up one's self: the way I see things, that which I perceive as 'needs' and my desire to have it my way."

is that from the furry grizzled benevolent avuncular bear?

MendelZ wrote:


As Rashi in last week's Parsha says:
אם יש את נפשכם - רצונכם

Hatzlacha

MT

ZemirosShabbos wrote:

Nope. Its from an elter eagle.

Hi y'all. I've been checking in every so often but haven't really posted much. More for myself than anyone else, I hereby embark on an update post.

After 14 years or so, I'm about 7-8 months clean, d'heinu clean from actually acting out, d'heinu porn and masturbation. I have slipped here and there but, thanks to the One Above, have managed to stay clean.

The last week and a half I found myself lusting and white-knuckling more than I feel comfortable with. So, yeah...just wanted to say hi and that here's a guy who is still in the game. Nobody give up. Let's all keep on doing what we know works. Talking to friends about where we are holding, talking to Hashem about anything and everything in an honest way, remembering that He is the Boss - not us, doing real things with our time.

As I was typing this I realized that I kind of let go of how helpful and imperative it is to remember "one day at a time." Man! One day at a time...One day at a time...one day at a time...Sheesh. Just for right now, I am not going to search for something that might bring up something questionable that could get me to click on something that might bring about a trigger. Just for right now.

Suddenly, the task that I have to complete that I was dreading going back to doesn't seem to annoying. Its just part of my life today. Just for right now I am going to choose the annoying thing that is part of my real life today instead of toying with what might happen if I go off into la-la land for a couple minutes.

May we all be blessed.

From the 90,000 reasons...thread:

Truth is that sometimes I'm not really sure why I say "NO". But we just gotta say it anyways. Like Paroah. Why did he say "no"? It doesn't make any sense. But he just stuck to his own for no comprehensible reason. No! No! No! I will not let them go!

"מאויבי תכחמני"

But over there it says in 20 words or less, so here's the rest of the thought:

If I can manage to re-frame the way I look at lust and make "lust" or "acting out" synonymous with "crazy" or "under the influence" (since that's really what it is - as we can all testify to if we'd be honest) then whenever I feel like I gotta distract myself with fantasy, I'd remember that the only reason I would want that is if I am poshut nuts. And ANYTHING that I - a crazy person - want to do is probably not a great idea. So when I want to act out, I don't need a reason to say NO. Its pashut. Why would anyone listen to a guy who thinks this is a good idea?

Hahaha!! The very fact that I want to act out as a means of fixing my life means that I'm not trustworthy right now. And anything that I think is a good idea is surely at the very best just plain dumb.

So, why to say No? Because the guy telling you to act out is shikur vi Lot!

I was wondering how you've been.

Thanks for the update!

makes alot of sense and sounds like it should work for someone who is sane.
However try explainig this to a shikur, I think he would be much quicker to trust the other shikur and listen to him, but Hey! if it works for you thats great!
I guess you are saying that the sane part of us can be programmed to not pay attention to the insane and then its as simple as that.

Yes, I do not think that telling the above to someone in the throes of addiction will get him anywhere. Nor to someone who is at the moment sane but still doesn't believe he is truly addicted. For someone who understands what is going on by him when he is addicted and has experienced a degree of real living when he isn't, I think it could be helpful.

But at the end of the day its just what came to mind at the time.

thanks
working on it and hope to get there some day

kilochalu wrote:


Me too.