if you had read my earlier topics, you would see that the person who put me on the right path was a girl, and i am wondering if it is okay to still chat using text messages to give each other chizuk

It's not a good idea.

She sent you to a place where you can get chizzuk if you would reach out for it. If she needs the chizzuk, I'm sure she is capable of finding it.

Hatzlacha!

jay9154 wrote:


There was a fellow here with Same Sex Attraction (SSA) who posted a while back about a friend who had the same problem. They were "helping" each other out with chizzuk etc.. One day he asked his friend to come to the mikvah with him so they could become tahor (or something like that). It did not end well. You are playing with fire. I'm sorry for being so strong, but it really is fire.

One of the things many of us come to realize is that lust is stronger than us. We cannot afford to tempt it. We have lost enough times and learned we must avoid it - period.

Does she have a problem as well? You say "to give each other chizzuk". If she does, why not direct her to the women's section of GYE?

I know it seems very difficult, but I can't see how chatting with a girl will help you overcome a lust problem. If she directed you here, I assume she will understand.

Love,

Gibbor

ok, so here it comes.... the confession...
at one point in my life, i made a girl crazy to talk to me (she, being a tzadeikes, wasnt interested at all). It lasted for a while. After that, i made up to stop. When i did, i thought to myself that i MUST get her mechila (forgiveness). So now, the YH made me crazy to keep making her crazy just to get her forgiveness!!! Totally backwards!!!
What im trying to say is that in my case i only wanted to get her mechila and it ruined my life (and hers...) for a few months longer (lsheim Shamayim). In your case, i would venture to say that its even worse, because you two are friends already. Talking anymore, even L'sheim Shamayim will only harm your recovery, as it did to me.
So, talk to us, its harmless

would it matter if we lived in separate countries

Check out the Gemara Sanhedrin 75b - "He should rather die and not talk to her even from the other side of the fence". Maybe it's not the same situation, but it gives an idea of how our sages dealt with such issues.

MT

jay9154 wrote:

The farthest you can be, is from a girl who doesnt want to talk to you, and thats where i was. I dont think it makes a difference if she was from Venus (and you from Mars, of course )

jay9154 wrote:

Why do you want to keep up with her?

Gibbor hit the nail on the head earlier. got nothing to add.
the answer in short is:
Don't do it