Hello,
I am new to the forum and I do not really know how to start. I grew up in a house that watching p*&n and the like was considered normal. I have recently realized the extent of my disease is more serious then I thought. And worse is I am getting married soon and i am only getting worse...I know that I have no way of stopping and if I continue like this I am headed for the wall. I need to stop...but I cant.

Welcome! I am new myself to this site, and am no expert.
One thing I wanted to mention. I think the first thing you need to do to work on your problem, is to change your mindset.
It's not "I can't", you can the question is how? When there is a will there is a way.
Welcome to this site and hopefully with the tools available you will be able to find your way.

WELCOME! Stick around, you will find many people here just like you. We are all in the same boat. There are different paths to recovery. Many have done it, so can you. Here is a good place to start www.guardyoureyes.com/breakingfree/first-time-here .