Hello MT,
I just read through your thread, absolutely fascinating, I can't wait to look up the maare mekomos you quoted.
I'm way younger (B"H only had a chance to have 7+ years of addiction until GYE), I sort of feel sometimes that the fellows who have gone through more of life with the addiction are the best ones to get to know.
Enjoy sharing feelings with people, Iv's found that it helps tremendousely to stabilize within myself the fact that I'm on the way to recovery.
Gut Shabbos,
MB

Thanks MB, and Hi again (I responded to one of your posts today).

Chevra: Here's a thought on the Parsha (heard some of it and was koneh b'shinui )

The sforim say that Metzora is notrikin 'motzee rah' (one who emits bad stuff), which is an allusion to the thing we struggle with. The Torah also calls this a Nega - an affliction.
However, Nega (nun gimmel ayin) has the same letters as Oneg (ayin nun gimmel). The only difference between Nega and Oneg is that the Ayin is in a different place.

So, dear brothers, let's not forget. The difference between having an affliction (Nega) or having Oneg (true pleasure) is where our "Ayin" is. Let's make sure to keep the Ayin from straying, so that we will be free of affliction and we will experience true heavenly pleasure.

Wishing y'all Oneg Shabbos & Oneg Tamid,

MT

I saw a great vort in one of the parsha sheets in shul - parshas tetzaveh:

ועשית ציץ זהב טהור - ופתחת עליו פתוחי חותם קודש לה'

ציץ can also mean looking, as in מציץ מן החרכים.
חותם can also refer to the ברית מילה, as it says, וצאצאיו חתם באות ברית קודש.

So - ועשית ציץ זהב טהור - and you should make your ‘looking’ as clean as pure gold.
ופתחת עליו פתוחי חותם קודש לה' - and you will thereby develop your חותם הברית - that it should be holy for the sake of Hashem.

Or in plain English - as Reb alexeliezer would put it: Bulletproof shmiras einayim is of paramount importance in our recovery.

MT

Dear friends,

My first post (above) stresses first and foremost the importance of avoiding all lustful sights and thoughts at all times. In a later post I mentioned that this is based on Ohr Hachaim in this week’s Parsha (Acharei 18:2). For the benefit of these who may benefit from it, the following is a partial translation of those holy words (I tried my best):

(PLEASE READ CAREFULLY - IT MAY HOLD THE SECRET TO YOUR SUCCESS!)

“It is known that all Mitzvos which Hashem commanded his holy nation are Mitzvos which a person can uphold, and he can bend his will to fulfill them -- except for the Mitzva of abstaining from lustful encounters (‘arayos’). This is something which a person’s soul desires and forces him to do, unless there is extreme restraint of two things: Restraint of lustful sights of the eye and restraint of lustful thoughts.

And if these two restraints are not practiced, one cannot control this inner-force nor can he get rid of it. For as long as one does not have restraint of lustful sights, although he may restrain his thoughts, he will not be able to control his compulsion for lust. Similarly, even if one restrains his sight, if he will not restrain his thoughts, his thoughts will force him with a burning desire towards illicit activities. So by neglecting even one of these restraints it will be impossible for a person to control himself in this area. And surely so when both of these restraints are neglected, that person will be too weak to stand up against his desires.

And it goes without saying that if one has already tasted this evil, behold, he is under the control of his lust (i.e. addicted).

Therefore, a person’s tactics when engaging in war against this issue must be by restraining himself in both areas (lustful sights and lustful thoughts). This way, a person will develop his nature to no longer lust for such things, and his ‘will’ (ratzon) will control his natural desires.” (ad kan divrei Ohr Hacahyim Hakadosh)

May we be zoche to internalize these holy words and incorporate them.

MT

So you ask, what's my point in this almost daily posting? Well, let me tell you how important this is for me and for others.

This morning in shul there was a Chasam Sofer (Toras Moshe) on the table next to me. So I took a look what he says on the Parsha. Lo and behold, the first piece on Kedoshim says more or less the following:

Rashi says, Kedoshim tihyu means that in order to be holy you must make fences and stay away from all forms of lust. Rashi also says that the Parsha of Kedoshim was said beHakheil - when all yidden were gathered together. What's the connection of these 2 Rashi's?

Explains the Chasam Sofer: One may think that in order to be holy and separated from lust, one must also be in isolation so that he can focus better on his recovery without being distracted by others. So the Torah teaches us that the opposite is true. To be holy and separated from lust, one must act beHakheil - he must interact with other yidden, and by giving and receiving chizzuk he will be zoche to stay away from lust and to become truly holy.

Amen, kein yehi ratzon.

(And on a practical level - many a time when my YH tries to get me, I say to myself, "That is not in line with all your constant preaching. You must practice what you preach. Talk the talk, and walk the walk...)

MT

Thanks for the awesome vort from the Ohr Hachaim!

I saw the Chasam Sofer you quoted (as the source for one of your "3 steps". A beautifull piece.
Maybe to add to the מראה מקומות on the importance of davening in this struggle, see R' Tzadok Hakohen in צדקת הצדיק אות נ"א, and a fascinating shtikel from R' Mendele Vitesbk in פרי הארץ פרשת תצוה.
Keep on going and posting!
MB

Dear Reb MB

Thank you for your two additional sources on the importance of davening in this struggle. I looked them up and I'm quoting here 'bekitzur', for the sake of those who do not have access to these holy sforim.

צדקת הצדיק סי' נ"א ...כי היצר מתגבר בכל יום ואולי מחר לא ינצחנו, רק העיקר לבקש מהש"י שיהי' בעזרו, שזהו מבטח נאמן...

פרי הארץ פ' תצוה ...והוא המבואר בספרים על אמתת פעולת ההצלה מן היצה"ר, לבקש מאתו יתברך באמת שיעזור לו.

I found a fourth source, which I will translate, because it carries powerful chizzuk:

אור החיים דברים כו:ז - ונצעק אל ה' וגו' וישמע ה' את קולנו וגו',

This posuk hints that a person must daven to Hashem daily that He save him from the YH. And althought Hashem created the YH to test a person in his Avodas Hashem, nevertheless, when they cry out to him he listens to their prayers. Because he realizes,

1) that we do not have the power to fight the YH and get rid of him
2) the hard work that we need to put in to wage this war
3) the pressure that the YH exerts to make the person sin against his own will

For these three reasons Hashem listens to our prayers.
(ad kan dvorov hakdoshim)

May our prayers be accepted לרחמים ולרצון

MT

Dear friends,

Good news: TODAY IS THE DAY!

The following is a translation of Reb Nachman’s holy words about TODAY:

היום אם בקולו תשמעו - תהלים צה:ז

Today, if to His voice you will listen

This is an important rule in serving Hashem. One must only think about the current day. Whether in matters pertaining to Parnassah and other needs, one must not think from one day to the next, as brought down in seforim. And likewise in serving Hashem, one should only think about the current day and the current moment. Because when one wants to begin serving Hashem, it seems to him as if it is a heavy burden, and he cannot carry such a heavy burden. But if he thinks only about the current day, it will not be a burden at all.

Also, one should not push himself off from one day to the next, to say, “Tomorrow I will begin”, “Tomorrow I will daven with Kavannah and with Ko’ach as should be”, and likewise in other areas of serving Hashem. For a person does not have in his world more than the current day and the current moment in which he is standing. For tomorrow is a different world entirely.

“Today, if to His voice you will listen”, “Today”, precisely. Think about it!

(Yes, my holy brothers, this is what Reb Nachman says - Likutei Maharan I:272)

So if you feel like me, go into a private room and just start dancing and rejoicing, because: זה היום עשה ה' נגילה ונשמחה בו

MT

Thanks, MT

Machshovo wrote on 23 Apr 2012 15:01:


This fact is very precious to me, thanks for bringing the sweet and heiligeh TS on it. Have a nice Shabos, chaver.

Welcome back Dov (are you really back? to stay?)

We never 'met', but I read many many of your posts, and was sorry that you were on 'leave'. Hope you're back with 'frishe kochos'. One thing I analyzed about you (let's not get too personal) is that you have 'opinions' (after all, with such experience), and you do not hesitate to share them. So to receive such a beautiful reaction to my vort is truly an honor.

May we continue to share - in a mutually beneficial manner,

MT

Dear chevra -

Here’s something on this week’s parsha, where the Tanya and Mesilas Yeshorim both seem to have a similar mehalech on the process of how we can become truly holy.

יומא (לט:א) תנו רבנן והתקדשתם והייתם קדושים (ויקרא כ:ז) אדם מקדש עצמו מעט מקדשין אותו הרבה מלמטה מקדשין אותו מלמעלה בעולם הזה מקדשין אותו לעולם הבא.

Tanya (27) - Vehiskadishtem, you should ‘make’ yourself holy. Even if one is not actually holy and free of the ‘sitra achra’, for it is still in full force in his heart, but he fights his YH and sanctifies himself. Viheyissem kedoshim, you will eventually become holy and truly free of the ‘sitra achra’, for they will assist you drastically from above and they will help you to get rid of it gradually.

Mesilas Yeshorim (26) - The concept of Kedusha/holiness is two-fold: It is work in the beginning and reward in the end; it starts with effort and ends with a gift. The start is with the person sanctifying himself, and the end is the sanctification which he receives. The effort consists of the person’s separating himself completely from material matters… but since it is impossible for a person to put himself in such a state, for it is above his power… what a person can do is to put in an effort in pursuing holiness, and ultimately Hashem will lead him in this derech that he desires, and will sanctify him - and then he will be successful in this aspect, and will be able to cleave to Hashem steadily. This is pshat: אדם מקדש עצמו מעט refers to what a person can achieve with his own effort, מקדשים אותו הרבה refers to the assistance which he receives from Hashem.

שבת שלום ומבורך

MT

Hello Machshova Tova,
I really really really enjoy your divrei torah, especially the quote of the Ohr Hachayim. I want to encourage you to keep posting.

So here goes...

KEEP POSTING!

A Gut Shabbos
JKG

Thanks JKG for your encouragement - that's what we're all here for - to acquire the motivation to JustKeepGoing.

========================================================

מזל טוב
Congratulation to all Daf Yomi learners who are now making a Siyum on Maseches Me’ilah.

On this occasion I would like to share an insight from Me’ilah which teaches us (once more) that we can only do it ‘one day at a time’.

Daf 14b - Rav Papa explains that the reason they generally used pre-consecrated (chullin) material when doing construction in the Bais Hamikdosh, is because “The Torah was not given to angels” and it would be impossible to avoid any personal benefit from the material while working with it. However, our Mishna which implies that they used consecrated (hekdeish) material for construction, is when it was constructed the same day that it was bought, and for such a short period of time one can be careful (as per Tosefos commentaries).

What a powerful lesson: The Torah acknowledges that we are not angels, and that it is impossible for us to control our desires for long periods. But for just one day, we can do it.

Wow! Let’s go for it - one day at a time!

MT