much hatzlacha!
chag kasher vesameach

Thanks, Gesher.

Yom Tov was great, I will admit a few falls, but enough to count on one hand and more importantly no falls in looking at bad stuff (although there were opportunities, airplanes etc...). I really tried concentrating on staying clean one day at atime, in the past it's happened many times during bein hazmanim that I was so busy with fullfiling things (learning מה שלבו חפץ, family, fun...) that I would completely forget about my issue and feel that I don't have to worry about it - until I would fall once and plummet down from my mountaintop. This time I noticed many times a sort of subconcous feeling that although now everythings easy but the Y"H will be back 'cause I'm still a hard-core addict, therefore the falls weren't big blows, I got up right away every time. Thanks GYE!

I can't wait till I'll be sober, meanwhile my work at living one day at a time and trying to surrender to Hashem is transforming me tremendously in making my falls far and few between (once every 1-2 weeks, almost always without those devastating spirals), but I can't seem to rid myself completely for longer than that. Should I do more or different, or is this just a slow process?

I remember in active addiction, the process of a fall happened gradually. I would be fine for a few days, then I would start getting hirhurim to act out which I would fight. Often it would be a fantasy. It would go away for a while, then come back stronger, until eventually I would give in.

I think the difference now is I "fight" really hard right at the beginning. I don't let the hirhurim take hold. I give it everything I've got right there at the opening volley. Every time.

When I say "fight," I really mean surrendering my lust to Hashem and asking for His intervention.

Early, aggressive interception.