sounds like youre on the right track!
Keep up the good work!

Question for everone (especially Alex, your'e always on the ball),
I'm married and I really see how all this affects married life and relations. I also feel that my relationship with my wife can help with this, it's a very tangible atmosphere to work on the inner transformation from lust to love. I've always been a strong feeler, so emotional connections are very important. So I was thinking of signing on the marrieds forum to hear and discuss these issues, but I'm a bit scared that it may be a trigger for me, it may be a bit explicit there (I'm sooooo sensitive) But I can't really know 'cause I was never there, tell me guys what you think I should do.

With respect to readings, the Attitudes book from this site is probably a great prep.  Then the Big Book, making sure to conceptually substitute the word Alcohol with Lust, and drinking with lusting, alcohol with addict.

With respect to triggers, I would avoid the baalei batim section until you have a bit of step work done if you are that sensitive.

For me, recently, the biggest breakthroughs have been 1) praying every morning (full prostration on the ground), reciting the words that I offer to myself to Gcd, to try to feel as much as possible that I will govern myself in according to spiritual principles that the day has set out for me; and 2) smiling/laughing a bit.  Not taking our failures too seriously especially if it will lead us to further regression and acting out.

For instance, what is the definition of an addict?  Someone whom, upon hearing about Geheinom, is more concerned about lack of Internet access than about the heat.

ontheedgeman wrote on 27 Feb 2012 17:52:

THAT's a good one [if it WAS a human error I'm happy it happened ;)]

Mifatfait,
I think it would be fine for you to start a thread in the married section to discuss this issue.  I have a thread there which has taken that direction.  There are one or two older threads that you probably shouldn't read at this point (I haven't either), and they're obvious from their titles.  We try to keep things toned down even on the married forum.  We're still addicts.  There's also an excellent thread called Yechida's Reflections Married Section which should be safe.  It deals with what you're looking for.  There is also an extended version Yechida sends out by PM, but only for men who are well into sobriety.
So maybe I'll see you there,
Alex

Alex,
Thanks for the reply. I think eventually I will join, but I'm still a bit nervous, 'cause one time when I'm weak I'll probably look at those threads you said are not yet for me and that wont be good for me. You know, I recently even had a fall from a post in the regular section (the thing about Google pics, although obviously the issue there is completely different).
BTY, I got up right away and have been completely clean ever since, 'cause all I missed was one day, the next day is a new piece of life, and only that is important.
I'm considering dropping the 90 chart for know because it is interfering with the one day at time principle.
Gut shabbos,
MB

Mefatfait Beyitzro wrote on 02 Mar 2012 13:02:


Personally, I never counted.  I was fully committed from day one to do whatever it would take to remain sober.  There would be no turning back.  Ever.  It's been almost 3 years since I discovered GYE, and with the miraculous help of Hashem, I have kept that commmitment, one day at a time.

Wishing you much siyata dishmaya and a wonderful Shabbos with your aishes chayil,

Alex

Thanks.
Over the weekend I was pretty sick with the regular winter stuff, B"H I'm getting better. I was thinking, it used to be that from these illnesses people would die, now we just take a little antibiotics and within a few days it's all over. But until Hashem brings the world to the next stage and fully removes our will to do wrong, our addiction will never have a simple remedy - it's here to stay. Why? Thats why wer'e in the world, to have our nisayon and overcome him, to remove it would destroy the purpose of creation.
Gut Voch. 

interesting concept Mefatfait.  i.e that one day much like old diseases that use to be fatal, we'll have a quick fix for addiction.  "Bayom Hahu yihiyei H" ushmo echad"

I can't wait, it's gonna be soooooo good

Hello. It's very late (I'm in Israel), I'm very tired, and a little weak. I don't want to fall now, it's not the right thing to do. I'm really gonna try, but only with Hashem's help I'll succeed. Iv'e been writing and reading here almost 2 hours, it's time to wrap things up. But since I feel weak I'm a bit scared to stop and go to sleep, so I keep on doing more. But it's late, and I'm gonna be so tired tommorow. I reread my thread here and got some chizuk from how much I've grown from GYE the past several months, you guys are really awesome.
Gut voch, and Hatzlochoh to me and to evereone else I wrote Hatzlochoh to tonight.
Good night.

Hey Mefatfait,
Good to hear you're still doing this.
There will always be ups and downs, harder times and easier times.
Just hang on tight to your emunah that Hashem can see you through all of it.

did you survive? 

Yes.
Thanks so much for asking, it'll help me make it through the next one (I'm soooo human, aren't we all?),

Hi guys,
It's late and tommorow I'm flying to America, I don't know if I'll have internet access untill after Yom Tov. So I wanted to wish everyone a Chag Kosher Vesameach, in your zechus this Pesach I'll feel free from the Y:H like never before!
Gut Yom Tov,
MB