Hey,

I'm married with a kid and trying to get over this addiction. I just quit smoking recently and realized that I am doing it to reduce stress rather then just because of desire. I need to figure out some way to stop and am hoping this is it. Slightly optimistic, but not so much. I 've tried many times before and nothing really worked. Well, hope this works out. 

welcome aboard!!

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
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One of my concerns is overcoming the disconnect I feel from G-d whenever I fail. Ironically, it is just when I feel like my relationship with G-d is growing, and my davening is with the utmost concentration and kavana that I end up slipping. then I feel like I have to start all over again.

Excitement can Make us want to act out. I have it all the time when I do something good that the desire gets stronger.  Keep strong. We grow together.

WELCOME CM!  Hang around.  There are lots of good people and good suggestions here.

Welcome friend!
When I found this place about 140 days ago, I was a bit skeptical, too, but I got on the 90-day chart, read the Handbook, and posted here, and I've got 140 days clean with G-d's help. First time in over 25 years of daily masturbation.
It can happen for you, just give this a chance to work.
Pick the tools you can use, and plow away!
BTW, I quit smoking, too, about two years prior: smoking's got nothing on this devil we are trying to fight here!
Hatzlocho,
Mottel.

I know. I just feel that since I stopped smoking, there has been an uptick in my need to masturbate. I feel like I have less alternatives to releave stress and am trying to figure out other means of dealing with the daily stresses of life without harming myself spirtually or physically.  :o

That's normal I also feel that since I am working on this issue I want more food. We always need something but with the right tools we will get over all this stuff.

I haven't found a direct warning about it, but in many places in AA and SA literature there is an overture to "secondary" or "replacement" addictions.
I actually got a little worried about my drinking after quiting the self-pleasure drug.
So we do need to be aware of this, but like the Pure Yid said, if you work the program it should help fill our souls with positive stuff and remove the need for any kind of addiction.

Try getting addicted to exercise.

And welcome, by the way!