Hi there people!

I am a 23 year old Jewish male.

Since my mid-teens I have been struggling on-and-off with this pornography fixation.

I spent some time in Yeshiva, where the fixation was not really an issue anymore - BUT as soon as I left yeshiva to pursue a university degree (via correspondence, so I've never actually been on a university campus) - this old habit started to creep back into my life.

I have experienced the destructive side of this habit first hand - and I certainly know that porn is not where I will find true happiness and peace of mind.

The first person i spoke to about this was a rabbi 3 years ago - who gave some advice, but to not much avail.

I then opened up to my psychologist, who basically said she didn't think it was such a terrible thing.

I then had 3 sessions with my countries top hypnotherapist - which was extremely profound and deep, and helped for a while - but still never really helped me find a long term solution to this problem.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for the last 4 months, and I know that if I don't sort this out soon - I will end up destroying our relationship.

Currently I am not so sure where to turn.

I am still determined to break this thing once and for all, just need some help - and maybe joining a community like this may help me take that next step.

hi - welcome.

looks like you are in the right place.

grab a chair...and come join some of the conversation.
great bunch of guys here.

1.  Join the next phone-in session.  I think it starts next week! Monday at 8am or 8:30am, and other times (maybe noon? Dial-In Number: 1-760-569-6000; Participant PIN: 121318 #

2.  I would say if you are going to continue with the shmutz, at least have a reminder to yourself about what's going on.  Get a glass of water, fill it with mud, and put it beside your computer screen.  Just so you don't forget how the impurity fills your pure soul.  :-)  Make it a condition with yourself.

3.  Get a picture of a truck, and keep it on your desk.  If you fall, look at that truck AND KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Your local chassidishe fellow,

Edge

great to hear you want to work on this issue and you are not making believe it will go away by itself.A freind of mine was in your situation 2 years ago and he waited for about a year to get some sobriety from acting out before he continued dating  and he is forever grateful that he did.Have you ever spoken to a professional about this?

ontheedgeman: Thanks for your advice, and Can I join the phone-in from outside of US?

mechazek: I have spoken to one Rabbi, two friends, one Psychologist and one Hypnotherapist.

Time4Change wrote on 25 Oct 2011 16:13:

Sounds like the beginning of a joke. Do they all walk into a bar together ?

Anyway, WELCOME! Nice to meet you.  Great to have you with us.

Here's the official welcome package.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here

you can do it! just keep letting your yezter hara know what YOU want, not what he wants.

hey! im in a pretty similiar sitch as u (yeshiva guy 23 yrs old ect) i dont know how serious ur addiction is, but what i did was signed up for an online help program called CAndeo u can google it, and did their program and i developed pretty incedible TOOLS to how to deal with the daily struggles, as  oppose to going through the same avoidance cycle for years "i wont do it i wont do it..." fail. "i wont do it ...." ect. Check it out, try it our for a month it costs some money but its an icredible investment. I bh am doing much much better now and am on bli ayen arah already 54 days of not doing mb or looking at porn, being in control over my thoughts ect....
Good luck!!