“Anything the Torah forbids, the human being is able to control.”
(Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetsky)

Hurt, no more I cant, you can and you will

no its not apikorsus to want Hashem to take it away, its called normal human emotions


My dear friend, you already are handling it, your succeeding, your reaching out, getting out of isolation.
You'r on the way up. Maybe still the beginning of the ladder but you'll make your climb up slowly till you waaaayyy up there looking down and wondering how in the world did I get here. It might sound impossible, it probably does, but you posting here just shows that you have hope you can be helped, and you can. Not a question.

Dont wallow in misery and self-pity, there's an end to your suffering, youll make it there, you might not know how just yet or how long but you can do it.

I once heard a Maaseh that someone went to the Rav and was telling him about his tremendous nisyonot, he wanted to marry a goya or something along those lines.. The rabbi told him, "I see how great you truly are, because if Hashem gave you this test it means you can handle it, and that is tremendous"

You too can succeed,
Just Keep Going