Chevra, you are not going to believe this.

Okay so as most of you know, I have a certain addiction to massage places.  Well, thanks to the programme, I stopped going to ones that offered inappropriate endings, but I figured I could still go to ones that did not offer the extras.  That is, the regular, regulated massages, including RMT and other holistic massages.  I wasn't sure, in my heart of hearts, whether my intentions were pure - I do have significant muscular pain from strains etc - and whether I secretly hoped that they offer something at the end.  They never would, of course. 

Well I was thinking that even this habit should stop.  But I wasn't sure.  Lo and behold, I broke out into a rash around my belly.  I thought I got bitten my something.  I went to the doctor and she told me that I have herpes!  I'm like, what?  I've only slept with one woman all my life, and she is clean!  The doc said, no, herpes zoster, aka shingles.  10-20% of adults get it if they've had chicken pox.  It's not an STD.  But it's in the same family as herpes simplex.

How and what triggers herpes zoster aka shingles is still unclear.  Age, immune issues, and stress are the main culprits.  In the meantime, I am on anti-virals that are given to people with genital herpes.

Whether I got shingles from massage parlours is highly unlikely - no evidence suggesting this is possible.  But H" works in amazing ways.  Shingles and herpes are the same family. 

Going to a massage parlour, even though I wasn't getting the happy ending, is in the "same family" as acting out, and so, I now have a disease that's in the same family.

I also wonder whether the Prozac contributed to this.  I read of someone else online who thinks he got shingles after taking Prozac.

Anyhow, all this to say, there is a great irony - one of the effects of shingles is extreme pain at the slightest touch.  So now, when I used to seek "touching" to relieve my stress/pain, now the slightest touch is far from pleasurable!!

What a lesson. 

WOW, what a message from a massage .

It's great that you can see the message so clearly.  This is a sign of great progress.  Hashem sees that you are now close enough to him to properly interpret such a nisayon.  He is also letting you know that he now expects more from you.
Nice going!

i wish you a refoueh shleimeh

Refuo shleimo ukroivo lovoy! Great learning curve!

Refuah Sheleimah.  For the record, there's nothing wrong with a therapeutic massage from a male massage therapist (not that I've ever had one).

lol Kedusha.  Yes, of course you never had one...  Okay maybe really you didn't.

Hey you know what I wonder.  How come we all don't wish each other refuah shelelmas when we hear about how sick we all are?  Why is it only sickness of the body that we say "Refua Shelema", but when someone relates their sick mental story of acting out etc, we don't just say, hey, ya know, refuah sheleima. 

Between pain in the body that will get better in 2-5 weeks (BH), and a pain in the head that can last years, I'd take the 2-5 week shingles any day!! 

4 sure... But my friend o think kdsha has a good point. Why can't you get a massage from a male practitioner. Or go to a chiropractor.

ontheedgeman wrote on 06 Oct 2011 02:20:


In fact, I never did.  But, again, there's nothing wrong with a heterosexual male receiving a therapeutic massage from a male massage therapist.

Fair enough...  I can start going to male practitioners.  Truth be told, I rationalized that because I was going for "medically necessary" reasons (I have a prescription), I relied on (invented) leniencies that one can be seen by "female" doctors.  The reality of course is that one would have to be in a very serious condition to require female massages therapists.

As to why I didn't go to male practitioners, well, I think the answer is obvious (or maybe not).  They don't have the same quality, and it's harder for the mind to wander from the male touch - at least for me (I am heterosexual). 

Although it's a sheilah- are gay frummies required to go to female massage therapists??

OTEM, that you can make a funny about this makes it easier I think to listen to what Hashem teaches us.  It was a good funny.  thanks

oh by the way, proof that not even herpes zoster can fix me... my mind is now starting to think maybe once the shingles goes away, I can return to my hold habits.  I'm just trying to find comfort that maybe I don't have to say goodbye to this bad habit just yet.  anyhow wow, just goes to show what Dov always says...

when kayin brought a korben of flax hashem told him "if you improve i will accept you" but he didnt do tshuveh then, only later after he killed havvel, only then after reaching bottom, only then he did tshuveh, so why wait for that, messages from hashem WONT do the job, you have to say "enough is enough"