hi everyone!
i am a struggling yidel looking for some support.
just found the site and wanted to post and join.

Go ahead, post away. Share your problems, we're all here to help (and be helped).

Gevura!

ty !wow didn't realize it is so real!you guys really respond.

what do i do if problems with my wife are causing negative taivo.can i post it here or is there a separate married men part?

From the "How to use the Forum" page:

We have a special forum for "Married Men" (which is not accessible to regular members), where married men can discuss issues that they may be uncomfortable discussing in the open forum among singles (such as Niddah cycles, marital relations, and issues that come up with their wives, etc.). If you are married and would like access, please send us an e-mail to eyes.guard@gmail.com, so we can give your username access to this forum once you are approved.

Hello bahelfer. Welcome to gye. Yes the forum is as real as you want. Ppl (after assessing that it is safe) have live gye meetings as well and have recovered trrenedously through the site. Good luck and keep in toucch!

Brother Bahelfer,
welcome!
Tell us more about yourself and your struggles,  you'll see we can all relate.

Welcome! Without knowing what the issues are, it's hard for me to say anything, but for most people, it can be useful to post on the married thread, but also discuss their issues in a more general sense on the regular thread.

Welcome bahelfer -

Just having your eyes opened up to others that are in this battle with you is a tremendous chizuk! Post away. We are all here to encourage you in overcoming Shmiras Eynayim issues.

ninety

Welcome!  Here is the official welcome package.  Take some time to go through it.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

welcome, my long lost brother!

thanks for all the feadback
b"h have had 3 clean days -working for 90 and more!
each day at a time

That's great - how does it feel?

When I joined, I found that posting consistently helped me tremendously, on many levels. It helped me stop bottling things inside, it also made sure that I knew what i was thinking, what was going on emotionally inside me, and what my own reactions were to staying clean, or to various things going on in my life.

Otherwise, it can be easy to go through life on autopilot, only seeing things as they happen, instead of being able to notice when something is starting, and figure out what may happen, and work to avoid it.

Ditto

bs"d
well guys thanks for all the replies .i can't keeep up to everyone's responses .

b"h working on 6 clean days ,been very difficult in the house,wifes kvetchy i come home and i am greeted with a face like i can't handle the kids ,takeover no matter what your doing ,oh woops forgot about the appointment ,oh and the shiur i was supposed to give you gotta help me .it's like this desperate unable type of mood.
it is not an excuse for me to act out ,just a struggle i face and try to be there for her .
it is also a lack of love that i would like.


any thoughts chevra