I just found out about this site a few days ago from AISH.

I can hardly believe my good fortune. This is a problem that I've been struggling with for more than a quarter of a century. For the first time in a very long time, I can say that I feel hope. The strength and sincerity that I get from the Chizuk e-mails makes me cry every time that I read them.

Many years ago, when the Internet was just starting out, I tried to connect with other frum Jews in a chat room and to begin a conversation about this. This was a searing and emotionally painful experience. People wrote the most awful things to me and someone from my city managed to find out who I was (even though I thought I was posting anonymously) and called my wife to tell her that I needed professional help and to find a Rav to speak to. The issue was not even pornography at the time; it was only masturbation.

I resolved at that point to never talk about it again with anybody.

I only wish that this site would have been available then and things would've worked out differently.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Welcome!
Stick around, give and get some chizuk.
Would love to hear more of your story, and where you're currently holding in your recovery.
I was an addict for over 30 years before I even knew it was a problem.
It's amazing you tried to reach out elsewhere and were unfortunately rebuffed.

Hop in your truck and join the convoy!
Welcome home!
Alex

You're certainly among like-minded friends now. Bruchim Haboim.

I'm really sorry to hear the shame you were put through.  So now your safe here.  You can "talk" freely.  There's a saying in the recovery programs, "You're only as clean as your secrets".  It feels like a ton of bricks off your shoulders and heart to just let it dump.  Look around at people's early posts.  You'll be comforted to know you're in good company, and nobody here is going to judge you.

Once you're settled in a bit, there's lots to get going with:  filters, handbooks, posting, check out the 12 step stuff to see if it's for you.

Welcome.  Much success.  Hatzlocho!

Thank you all so very much.

It's an amazing thing that I feel a more intrinsic connection to Judaism thru such a site as opposed to the many out there that deal with "more holy" topics.

It seems the right place to be. I don't know if this is where the Shechinah is but it feels so good to connect with people that share in my struggles.

Welcome, were all with you here, your story is nuts how people throw it under the rug even when they are chatting anonymously, you see here how big of an issue it is and how so many holy Jews are trying to take care of that problem.

Welcome.

God willing you are safe here. We welcome all and only look to help you.

I hope you trust us because one very good way to help yourself is to share your struggles.

We not only share about p*** and m**** we also laugh and drink together.

Hang on for the ride and jump into the work.

holistic wrote on 25 Aug 2011 02:07:

stick around a bit more and you'll know without doubt that this is where the shechina is

Seems no one from the old guard caught on to you yet, so here is a weclome package. It helped me a great deal to follow the outline for recovery below.
You can see the actual first steps I took here http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4302.0. Feel free to comment or share your experience.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

WELCOME! Nice to have you aboard!

Hello and welcome!

Stick around and read up, you can probably gain a lot here. And we can probably gain from you as well.
wishing you the best
zs

TehillimZugger wrote on 25 Aug 2011 10:55:



The shechina is everywhere... we just cant see it all the time and often it is the perverse thinking of our addicitive nature that blocks it ou.  but through the friendships and opportunities that you will find on this site you will be able to begin experiencing that in your own life and answer the quesiton on your own.

Welcome!

Hi holistic -

Can you at least explain why you chose that name? Did things come together for you to reach this site?

It is interesting what you said about the person finding out who you were and who you were married to. Often on sites one starts off anonymously and then as he gets comfortable with the people he is chatting with he offers more and more personal information. This information is often pried from the people but not always.

On this site noone discusses anything that can be traced back to themselves. In fact I do not think I know where 1 person lives (aside from the admins and the people who apologize for the time delays because they live in EY).

Unload. It helps. We may not know who you are or where you live but a connection grows.

ninety

welcome! keep posting!

welcome, come in inside the shteeble, where its warm & freindly, make yourself comfortable, have a daily sheur, exchange chizuk & advice, hashem is with you keep going strong