2 weeks, Truckin'.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 24 May 2021 14:14:

That's actually 336 clean hours (or 20160 minutes).
Now that's real gevura!

Keep on truckin' 

I am also suffering from SSA and I have been clean for the last 83 days. I even had in the past a clean stretch for over a year. The last few days were a bit of a challenge and today I feel cool-hot about myself (for those of you that know what I mean) and I feel that I am going to fall by masturbating. Please help!!!!

Yanky1234 wrote on 24 May 2021 16:56:

If I may suggest, try to counter your urges with 'positive energy'.  

The Tanya illustrates the importance of positive energy with a parable: "Just as it is with a victory over a physical opponent; like in the case of two people wrestling, each trying to throw down the other, if one of them is lazy and lethargic, he will be easily defeated and beaten, even if he is stronger than his fellow. So, too, it is impossible to conquer the evil nature [hindering one's service of G‑d] with laziness and lethargy, which are symptoms of sadness and a stone-like dullness of the heart. The only way to win is with alacrity, which derives from joy.

One way to generate positive emotions is by finding meaning in your struggle. In other words, when you appreciate the value of the struggle, you’ll become more aware of the opportunities it affords you. 

Chazal say that a mitzvah done with discomfort is worth 100 times than a mitzvah that was easy. The value of a mitzvah increases exponentially in relation to its difficulty. In other words, a minor discomfort multiplies its value by 100. With each increase in discomfort, the value multiplies a further 100 times. 

So now that you have an urge, think of it as similar to finding a 100-carat diamond. Resisting a very strong urge, therefore, will have the equivalent value of a 1000-carat diamond! Your connection with God, the spiritual light you bring to the world, and the reward you can earn by overcoming the urge are all off the charts!

The Shomer Emunim said that the moment you overcome an urge is an auspicious time for your prayers to be accepted in Heaven in all matters spiritual and material. This concept explains why Yosef earned the title Tzaddik when he overcame the temptations with Potifar’s wife. By overcoming your urges, you can earn this title too. In a similar vein, the Gemara (Sukkah 52a) also states that greater people are afforded greater urges.

While urges are uncomfortable, when you can appreciate the opportunities afforded by them, you’ll be able to say, “Thank you, God, for giving me this urge!” Remember that simcha shel mitzvah is not restricted to positive mitzvos.


We hope to celebrate your successes... please stay connected and keep us posted!

Thanks. That helped take the edge off for now. Still have the rest of the day ahead of me. Hope I pull thru.

Boruch Hashem, I pulled thru!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 24 May 2021 14:14:

Just like after an earthquake there are tremors. After a fall and we have ruffled our endorphins (or whatever the chemical process is) there is a desire to repeat the stimulus. Of course, there is also the ridiculous arguments such as “I already fell so what’s the big deal to act out some more.

Instead, you made the bold and courageous decision to immediately swim against these currents.

My friend - not all days of sobriety are born equal.

These are platinum.

45

Saw this recently in a book I was reading:

“We’ve all got our addictions, Lex. Those little things that we know are bad for us, but we do anyway. You know how you know an addiction when you see one? It is when you enjoy something and tell yourself you don’t, or when you don’t enjoy something and tell yourself you do. The worst is when it is both at the same time.”

WOW! Thanks for posting.
I have experienced both!
Brocha v'hatzlacha to all of us.

Mazel Tov @Gevura for 100 days clean!
You are a major source of inspiration for myself and for many others here as well.

Thank you and hatzlocha!

YeshivaGuy

IY”h by you!

DavidT wrote on 11 May 2021 16:25:



Man! sorry I'm a year late to this party.(Told you to call me directly :-)).I really got to agree with EvedHashem and DavidT (and a whole bunch of others).

Our sobriety is not about a streak. It's not about how long you can hold our breath underwater until we finally drown or come up. It's about changing the way we do things to be free of our personal prison.When I'm lusting, even if I didn't technically 'fall' I don't consider myself free, but the flip side is when I'm working recovery and doing well - even if I had a bad day in the middle - I am far more free than I was when I had an impressive 'clean' day count.

Anyway, the proof is in the pudding.The fact that you picked yourself up afterwards and I'm writing this message almost a year later shows it to be what it is, an imperfect day (cuz who's perfect?) on our road to growth.


Btw, this next part is not addressed to Gevura, it's for people (like me) who will take the 'fell shmell keep on trucking' (FSKOT) idea to mean that I can act out all the time because I'm not perfect and I'll just keep on trucking' because streaks don't matter. All I can say is if you're honestly (honestly!) improving, then maybe there is something to that, but if you are staying the same (or getting worse), don't fool yourself in thinking you're on the road to recovery, it's a cul-de-sac that you keep on circling around and around and around....


Whoo! Now how's that for a welcome back speech. I think the forum members who don't know me are going to vote I disappear again....