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hello my friends....
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TOPIC: hello my friends.... 94940 Views

Re: hello my friends.... 24 May 2021 14:14 #368910

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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2 weeks, Truckin'.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: hello my friends.... 24 May 2021 15:30 #368911

  • DavidT
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 24 May 2021 14:14:
2 weeks, Truckin'.

That's actually 336 clean hours (or 20160 minutes).
Now that's real gevura!

Keep on truckin' 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: hello my friends.... 24 May 2021 16:56 #368917

  • Yanky1234
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I am also suffering from SSA and I have been clean for the last 83 days. I even had in the past a clean stretch for over a year. The last few days were a bit of a challenge and today I feel cool-hot about myself (for those of you that know what I mean) and I feel that I am going to fall by masturbating. Please help!!!!

Re: hello my friends.... 24 May 2021 17:17 #368920

  • DavidT
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Yanky1234 wrote on 24 May 2021 16:56:
I am also suffering from SSA and I have been clean for the last 83 days. I even had in the past a clean stretch for over a year. The last few days were a bit of a challenge and today I feel cool-hot about myself (for those of you that know what I mean) and I feel that I am going to fall by masturbating. Please help!!!!

If I may suggest, try to counter your urges with 'positive energy'.  

The Tanya illustrates the importance of positive energy with a parable: "Just as it is with a victory over a physical opponent; like in the case of two people wrestling, each trying to throw down the other, if one of them is lazy and lethargic, he will be easily defeated and beaten, even if he is stronger than his fellow. So, too, it is impossible to conquer the evil nature [hindering one's service of G‑d] with laziness and lethargy, which are symptoms of sadness and a stone-like dullness of the heart. The only way to win is with alacrity, which derives from joy.

One way to generate positive emotions is by finding meaning in your struggle. In other words, when you appreciate the value of the struggle, you’ll become more aware of the opportunities it affords you. 

Chazal say that a mitzvah done with discomfort is worth 100 times than a mitzvah that was easy. The value of a mitzvah increases exponentially in relation to its difficulty. In other words, a minor discomfort multiplies its value by 100. With each increase in discomfort, the value multiplies a further 100 times. 

So now that you have an urge, think of it as similar to finding a 100-carat diamond. Resisting a very strong urge, therefore, will have the equivalent value of a 1000-carat diamond! Your connection with God, the spiritual light you bring to the world, and the reward you can earn by overcoming the urge are all off the charts!

The Shomer Emunim said that the moment you overcome an urge is an auspicious time for your prayers to be accepted in Heaven in all matters spiritual and material. This concept explains why Yosef earned the title Tzaddik when he overcame the temptations with Potifar’s wife. By overcoming your urges, you can earn this title too. In a similar vein, the Gemara (Sukkah 52a) also states that greater people are afforded greater urges.

While urges are uncomfortable, when you can appreciate the opportunities afforded by them, you’ll be able to say, “Thank you, God, for giving me this urge!” Remember that simcha shel mitzvah is not restricted to positive mitzvos.


We hope to celebrate your successes... please stay connected and keep us posted!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: hello my friends.... 24 May 2021 19:27 #368934

  • Yanky1234
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Thanks. That helped take the edge off for now. Still have the rest of the day ahead of me. Hope I pull thru.

Re: hello my friends.... 25 May 2021 18:08 #368995

  • Yanky1234
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Boruch Hashem, I pulled thru!

Re: hello my friends.... 27 May 2021 02:16 #369074

  • yiraishamaim
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 24 May 2021 14:14:
2 weeks, Truckin'.

Just like after an earthquake there are tremors. After a fall and we have ruffled our endorphins (or whatever the chemical process is) there is a desire to repeat the stimulus. Of course, there is also the ridiculous arguments such as “I already fell so what’s the big deal to act out some more.

Instead, you made the bold and courageous decision to immediately swim against these currents.

My friend - not all days of sobriety are born equal.

These are platinum.

Re: hello my friends.... 24 Jun 2021 14:23 #370146

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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45

Saw this recently in a book I was reading:

“We’ve all got our addictions, Lex. Those little things that we know are bad for us, but we do anyway. You know how you know an addiction when you see one? It is when you enjoy something and tell yourself you don’t, or when you don’t enjoy something and tell yourself you do. The worst is when it is both at the same time.”
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: hello my friends.... 24 Jun 2021 16:12 #370149

WOW! Thanks for posting.
I have experienced both!
Brocha v'hatzlacha to all of us.

Re: hello my friends.... 23 Aug 2021 16:06 #371822

  • YeshivaGuy
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Mazel Tov @Gevura for 100 days clean!
You are a major source of inspiration for myself and for many others here as well.

Thank you and hatzlocha!

YeshivaGuy
Last Edit: 23 Aug 2021 16:07 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: hello my friends.... 23 Aug 2021 18:53 #371828

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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IY”h by you!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: hello my friends.... 25 Feb 2022 15:13 #377864

  • stillgoing
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DavidT wrote on 11 May 2021 16:25:
If I may question this whole concept of counting days...
If we use it as a tool to change bad habits, that's great. But the count is in no way an indicator of the person. 
You can be at day one and be much better off than someone that's on day 1000 ... 
My humble opinion is to really rethink the way we use and view these counts... 

Feel free to agree and disagree 


"EvedHashem1836" post=368336
date=1620706409 catid=19

Maybe others will disagree w my eitzah but...don't worry about it. Keep on going from where you left off

Man! sorry I'm a year late to this party.(Told you to call me directly :-)).I really got to agree with EvedHashem and DavidT (and a whole bunch of others).

Our sobriety is not about a streak. It's not about how long you can hold our breath underwater until we finally drown or come up. It's about changing the way we do things to be free of our personal prison.When I'm lusting, even if I didn't technically 'fall' I don't consider myself free, but the flip side is when I'm working recovery and doing well - even if I had a bad day in the middle - I am far more free than I was when I had an impressive 'clean' day count.

Anyway, the proof is in the pudding.The fact that you picked yourself up afterwards and I'm writing this message almost a year later shows it to be what it is, an imperfect day (cuz who's perfect?) on our road to growth.


Btw, this next part is not addressed to Gevura, it's for people (like me) who will take the 'fell shmell keep on trucking' (FSKOT) idea to mean that I can act out all the time because I'm not perfect and I'll just keep on trucking' because streaks don't matter. All I can say is if you're honestly (honestly!) improving, then maybe there is something to that, but if you are staying the same (or getting worse), don't fool yourself in thinking you're on the road to recovery, it's a cul-de-sac that you keep on circling around and around and around....


Whoo! Now how's that for a welcome back speech. I think the forum members who don't know me are going to vote I disappear again....
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
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STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com
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