Im only mid twenties but I can say for sure there are certain psychologically damaging lines that once you cross you become an addict. One of them is pinning a lot of hope on marriage and then failing miserably. After a while your mind can't just overpower lust or really fight like normal.
You sound to me that you're not that far into addictville. You really need a nedarim system to fight against your mind viewing m as an escape and stress reliever. Emunah mentioned taphsic method.basically just make sure that the nedarim are done right with the consequence afterward not the swear off before.
Its actually funny with this whole mo thing because when one really yeshivish rebbe was explaining this mindset of the budding addict he called it a "yeshivishe yetzer hara"
Presumably because of the stereotype that yeshivish people are looked at as" creative" in their shittas and deyos.
Good luck