BH hugged wife b4 leaving today.. And  Literally every single night of their lives (except for when they are away w/a relative), I go and gently stroke my children's heads as they are sleeping, and rub their back as they dream. One of them used to really let out a big 'sigh of relief' whenever I did it. He was 5(?) At the time. Recovery has blessed me with a sensitivity to 'be present' emotionally for them (except for the really stressful days when I tell them "today tatty needs a time out and I need to think about Hashem for a little": of course my daughter still feels completely justified for climbing on me even in these times too... And I have no problem with it).. I've learned to 'davka' look at them when I'm in a good mood and take pleasure in whatever they're doing (to a point obviously :-) ) so in their hearts and minds they internalize deeeeeeep inside of them that "tatty is someone who is really happy with me: he enjoys me..the world enjoys.. 'Me'."  BH this approach is so far showing many many fruits.

(Luuustig very nice to 'see' u again..really) as much serenity as possible to all.. It's only today guys.. Hashem is %100000 with us, .. And more..with love and heavenly smiles.

I aint the biggest matisyahu fan.. But he sings "I'm so sick I can't seem to shake it" (warrior)... Wow.. Right now that's me :-)

Office I'm in is full of sarcasm, manager is loud aggressive guy who left his wife for another man's wife.. Etc.. Just breakin my head today.. Walked outside for fresh air. Learned a little .. Gemorra says 'yosef kept his eye from what was not his (potifar's wife) so he is protected from the evil eye'..  I think I'll follow yosef's example.. Back to work now..Hashem please keep helping

Step out of the battle field.... Dont fight it. Just move to the sidelines.

Your a inspiration - keep it up.

What a brocha to connect here.. We aren't alone..thank you.. I just need a good (kosher)laugh! :-)

There's lots to say about my past.. My parents are now separated their 10th(!) Time. no joke. There was lots of anger. I spent so much time on the beach etc.. And after marriage, I remember times when my fingernails were screaming from pain that I couldn't have 'that girl' over there. No joke, every fiber of me 'HAD' to HAVE HER.. And I was busy surrendering her.. And the next 'her' and the next..
Now, I'm walking in a nosy community;triggers are all around me.. Right this very moment.. BH my fingernails are fine today, they even typed this message of recovery ur reading now... Even better though, my heart and mind are ok and productive. Bruised yes, 'out of commission'?.. Not at all :-)

The bruises also happen to be a wonderful blessing.. They are the fuel and energy which keep me reaching to connect to you.. They remind me every second of how others in my life guarantee a constant source of blessing..

R.Dov Ber (2nd Rebbe of Lubavitch) established every shul to have a 'cheder shayni' a second room specifically for slower, more concentrated, more intimate davening with Hashem. 'Pesach Sheni' is a re-connection from: 1st one was 'far' and 'tamey', then he comes back. Also the 2nd chapter in Tanya begins "the nefesh ha'shayni" of a yid: the G-dly soul (as opposed to the animal soul which a yid also has.

Sometimes we "just need to take the nefesh ha'shayni into the cheder shayni and make a Pesach sheni"

This morning was one of those times...

Well said. When we think all will go perfectly as expected as planed on time etc.. we are setting our self up for disaster. Always have a cheder shei'ne for plan B - not on time, not as I expected, Not as I wanted....

I like that Cheder Shei'ne Idea.

Gvaldik.

plan B - not on time, not as I expected, Not as I wanted....  Yes yes yes..

Our inner Paroh chases from behind. "WE'RE DOOMED".. "There's an obstacle blocking in front!".."No way out!!"..

We just keep going, full of trust, and all of these 'big scary obstacles' will soon turn into miracles.. (Rashi b'shalach 14,15 "the sea is not standing in front of them")

(Beautiful words from the Ba'al Shem Tov)

"Don't get carried away with excessive details in everything you do. This is your evil impulse working against you.

It intends to agonize you by insisting you haven’t fulfilled your obligation, just to make you depressed.

Depression is a reprehensible attitude, the greatest obstacle to serving the Creator, blessed be He.

Even if you stumble in sin, don’t wallow in misery. That would destroy all that you have accomplished so far, rendering you an easy catch for the evil impulse, since you feel you are a lost cause anyway. Your divine service would fall apart.

Just be saddened over the sin, ashamed before the Creator, and plead to Him to absolve the bad you’ve done. And then get back to rejoicing in the Creator, blessed be He, since you thoroughly regret what you did and have resolved in your mind never to do foolish things like this again.

Even if you know with certainty that you haven’t fulfilled your obligation in some area because there were so many obstacles, don’t let that get you down. Consider that the Creator, blessed be He, examines all hearts. He knows that you wanted to do things as best as possible, just that you were not able. And then strengthen yourself in joy in the Creator, may He be blessed."

—Tzava’at Harivash 46

I'm sure it's crystal clear to all by now that just calling a friend anytime of day ta talk about anything...


Is bikur cholim.

:-)

BH between Pesach and Shavuous I'm doing a daf a day of gemora. Had my head 'BURIED' in the sefer in a little corner on the train (summer time :-) ). Do I look like a 'cook'? Maybe..

Do I care?    No. :-).  BH I'm halfway through the daf.
(Even had to keep 1 eye closed the whole ride in order not to see a 'vision' to my side)

Now off train.. Off to work..
And,

Here's some words I hold deep to the heart from Shmuel of Lubavitch (5th Rebbe);

"The beginning of one's decline, G-d save us, is the lack of avoda in davening.

Everything becomes dry and cold. Even a mitzva performed by habit becomes burdensome. Everything is rushed.

One loses the sense of pleasure in Torah-study. The atmosphere itself become crass. Needless to say, one is totally incapable of influencing others."

thanks for sharing that beautiful and important quote from the rebbe

Ah, those pristine angels above: sure, they're much more beautiful than me, ......    But don't come close to making Hashem smile as much as me and all my imperfect friends do!
Me and my ugly defects, striving to stay 'connected'.. THIS(!).. Causes real heavenly pleasure!

(Boy are they many! And boy are they uuuuuugly!)