I'm very tired right now. It's worth saying anyway (why wait!?). I have BH years of sobriety, happy marriage and kids, normal daily struggles etc.. I find that we see CLEARLY on these blogs that being 'religious' doesn't 'save' anyone. I've learned to see ALL yidden completely equal. I'm 'religious' (Shomer Shabbos, beard, tefilin etc), but once a week, I DAVKA, go visit a secular jew on my lunch break. He doesn't care about my lusts at all! He thinks it's just normal life... BECAUSE IT IS! He appreciates that I'm honest with him and that I hold myself to a 'higher standard' by staying committed to my wife BH. Our entire relationship started when I asked if he's jewish. He said 'yes' (he really is) and I've been seeing him 1/2 hour a week over a year so far. We talk about jusaism, he plans to come for Shabbos. I walk in to his office and dance and sing some chassidik melodies. He dances with me. The 'highlight' of his week is when I come' he tells me. I got him matza for pesach. I mention this because instead of just thinking how 'bad' we are here (which is TOALLY A LIE) we can actually do THE BEST 12TH STEP IN THE WORLD by (gently and patiently)sharing our glorious heritage with our brothers who (for so many, many reasons; the war etc..)'just don't know' the greatness of yiddishkeit.  And if YOU don't know the greatness of yiddishkeit, well,.. Try it! Watching another yid get inspired to Hashem has GREATLY helped my OWN sobriety and judaism together these past few years. Even on my 'tired/down/confused days, I visit him. He shouldn't miss out, just 'cause I'm 'out of it'.. I think one of the reasons we suffer with this here on GYE is because it teaches us that "yes! All yidden are equal". By us connecting here, and with yidden everywhere, gives Hashem the greatest nachas as a father who sees the children who have what to offer, helping their siblings who 'don't know their way around'. I have a handful of connections like this, and BH we seen our 7 and 8 year old children teaching brochas to 'grown adults'. I share my human desires and passions with these 'fry' jews (but really, with a yetzer hara like mine, exactly who is the 'fry' one here???), and we all learn to grow, each on his own level, closer to Hashem.. So there! That's 3:30 in the AM for you. And BH I plan to be up @ 6 for a shiur and  another blessed day of sobriety, family, work, Torah, Tefila, responsibility, and most importantly: phone calls and friends!

BH 3 young men from frum homes ,struggling who were going to not do tefilin 2 days ago decided to, thanks to a smile and bringing tefilin to work..

A 'non religious' jewish man who I keep in touch with every few months was inspired to pay for all of the matzos that I got for 7 or 8 families who otherwise would not have had shmura matzo. He said 'I want to contribute: meet me for a check.. & bring me matzos too! Instead of listening to the 'normal healthy' complaining of 'normal healthy' yidden of stocks, $, and community politics, I was BH involved in organizing deliveries and $ allocation for our people l'kovod yom tov! Now THAT(!) Is the best 12th step we could ever hope for! When it 'gets to be a lot' I use all the great tools of fellowship.. Phone calls and surrender.. The time is spent in real kedusha (besides the learning and work I do) and the inspiration dispels depressing thoughts...

Also is so great that shulchan aruch (Ha'Rav) says (orach chayim 445 sif 1) "if we're not INVOLVED in destroying the chametz ONLY THEN are we 'sinning'".. The chometz (sins) are there(!) You can see them(!).. Don't over-react says Torah... As long as you are involved (really) in getting rid of it, you are not transgressing...  What if u trip and chametz falls? What if a kid knocks it out of your hand? What if a sick zeidei is in the way of it and it takes a while to get to it??? NO WORRY SAYS TORAH! As long as you are osek in getting rid of the negative, there is no aveira! (This is good for us who LOVE to 'realize' how 'bad' we are..)

(Also earlier in siman 433 or 434 it says "if u didn't know the chumatz (negative) was there, you are also not 'sinning'.. Once you know about it (ie. Now that we accept just how big our inner bahayma really is), now is time to be 'osek' in getting rid of it)

Wow! Everyone knows the 'teens at risk' thing (many adults are also at risk... Or worse!..).. Just now walking home I saw two teens (with kipas) who fit the 'at risk' profile.. With a gentle smile I softly asked if they'd like to do tefilin (I don't go anywhere without them). Both said "um,.. Yeah man I didn't do it today" so BH 20 minutes before shkiah they both gave whatever nachas they could muster to Hashem..(I once was, and could be again, just like them.. In a heartbeat)

Never underestimate the power of THIS 12th step.. As the Salanter says "by guiding others you will be transformed, attaining levels of mitzvot and holy thoughts that you previously thought were not within your reach."

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yechida's reflections

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Serene smile: [Edit]
Rambam hilchos nizkey mamon perek 2 halacha 19 "one who does something different (to antagonize)and another reacts to  him with something different, the one antagonized is patur" (if u antagonize a dog and he bites, the dog owner is patur because the dog doesn't normally bite)..

 We are yidden, the most precious reality in life. We essentially WANT to do what Hashem wants (Rambam hilchos gerushin, the famous halacha "hit him till he says I want", because he really does want)..

Comes the 'antagonizer' and 'excites' us.

 When we're unprepared, we 'react' to his incitement in impure ways not 'normal' for us... Says Toras emes: patur. It's not who we really are.

Soon b'ezras Hashem , we get enough tools to not be swayed by his tactics..

Oy I feel like crap tonight! Just tired, summer getting to be hot soon.. A bit shvitzy.. Well crap makes things grow so it's ok sometimes

Serene smile wrote on 18 May 2011 04:33:


It does, if you plant the right seeds, most certainly.

:-) wow! A response!

The theme of Pesach Sheini is that 'it is never too late'. It is always possible to put things right. Even if one was 'tamei', or one was 'far away' (ba’derech rechoka), and even in a case of 'luchem', when this (impurity etc.) was deliberate with kavana - nonetheless he can correct it.

Va'yitein l'cha ha'elo-kim.. Midrash says this is beis ha'mikdah built, razed to the ground, and built again.. Today feels like the razed, destroyed part ... Ohhh.. Hashem u are goooooood..

does rabbi gye agree to have a lubavitcher taking out ppl from here and teach them tanye, unstead 12 steps? :-*

:-) I see no stirah between the 2.. I've BH been doing both, the way they've been shown to me, for a long time.. They help each other and I full heartedly believe helping a yid, any yid, in asey tov, not just sur mey ra, has helped my recovery greatly.. Why should we here keep crying in our own world? Why should thousands of our brothers lose out because we are confused? Watching others come close is VERY good for positive thoughts and recovery.. 

Make no mistake: I was a real rock-bottom hopeless lust-drunk.