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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:22 #105253

  • kedusha
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Let's not jump the gun, Reb Yid!

RB,  you're 100% correct as to what this can do to marriages.  But, even to have a clear head in Shidduchim, it is necessary to be clean.  Otherwise, it's too easy to marry the wrong girl just because she's good looking.  Or, due to our self confidence being shot, we become sitting ducks for being rejected by the girls we go out with.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:27 #105256

  • regularbachur
Umm, reb yid, mazel tov? I haven't met her yet!  :-)  Although mazel tov really just means you should have mazel, so I guess either way, I can use the mazel... Don't know If that's what you meant though.
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:30 #105257

  • heuni memass
regularbachur-

What ever you do keep us posted. to many guys (huhum.. look at my first post )leave because they feel they got it and they feel great. It doesn't end that quick. Even though i hope for you it does.

So keep on letting us know how its going. dont forget about us here.

My friend may it be bMazel tov!

--hm
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:32 #105258

  • kedusha
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He just meant everything should be b'Hatzlacha. 
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:35 #105259

  • regularbachur
Kedusha, I couldn't have put it better myself. That's why I've been feeling so good about myself these last few days. I'm doing what I should be, and not having to hide anything. I'm generally a very confident person, but when it comes to self confidence in these matters, I obviously didn't really have it, because 90 percent of the time, I was powerless to do anything. The new self confidence that I now feel, not as a person, or even as a frum jew, but rather as a CLEAN frum jew, is what makes me feel so much better about the sometimes overwhelming concept of starting a relationship with someone.
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:37 #105261

  • regularbachur
HM, thanks for your good wishes, and for your advice. I don't plan on going anywhere. Just being on this site gives me strength to fight. And yes, I hope it does go that quick.
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:39 #105262

  • heuni memass
Dating can (hopefully wont) get stressful. stress is our biggest enemy. So be aware.

just keep on trucking.
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 18:59 #105268

  • regularbachur
HM, trucking is what I do best! :-) 
Btw, a little announcement for those who have been following this thread. You may have noticed that I conviently have been ignoring what everyones been saying about getting rid of the internet on my phone. Reason is, I've been thinking A LOT about it over the last day or two. I don't have internet at home, and what I said about my grandmonther's computer was years ago- I don't go over there anymore. Truth is, my phone's the final frontier. If I have the guts to get rid of it, it will make the fight that much easier. (filter is not an option)  At the same time, (this is the YH talking-im aware of that)look how much good has come from the internet on my phone...i got involved on this site! In fact, all of my posting, including this one right now, has been from my phone- all I've used my phone for in the last three days is this site and my email. SO- I have decided to get rid of it. I have a data plan which, through regular usage, should be used up in a matter of a couple of days. When the $ left in the account has been used up, which should be within a week, I will delete the browser or call the company or whatever. In the meantime, over these next few days, I will continue to use this site, and maybe i'll even give updates as to how much money is left (countdown till I get rid of the internet). Truth is, I realize that getting rid of it means much much less access to this site, barring a shlep to the library once in a while. So it's bittersweet, cuz ill lose the internet for good, but i'll lose all you guys too! But it's worth the tradeoff. (sorry, guys!)
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 19:28 #105273

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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You might want to ask (via PM) some of those guys here who's style you feel 'clicks' with you, to give you their phone numbers.  (You can set up a Google Voice number before your internet connection is stopped. www.google.com/voice )
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 19:45 #105276

  • regularbachur
YH - I don't know if you read all of my earlier posts, but I'm kinda against the phone thing. I feel really unconfortable talking about these things-even first posting on this site has been difficult (but has gotten much easier). Thing is, on my phone, I can send and receive email without logging onto the web. So I can still be in touch with anyone who is interested via email.
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 19:55 #105279

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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regularbachur wrote on 05 May 2011 19:45:

YH - I don't know if you read all of my earlier posts,


I apologize.

Even if i did, I have a harm time remembering every detail which every member wrote. (Especially before we built up a personal connection...)
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 20:00 #105283

  • heuni memass
Sorry for ease dropping but YH- so how do u know when elevators were invented - did u have a personal connection?
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 21:31 #105309

  • Reb Yid
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Number One - I am not a Rishon. Please, for your sake, don't analyze everything I say.
Number Two - I meant Mazel Tov and congratulations on the wedding! It was a poor attempt at humor. Not the first time either.
Number Three - Now to the serious stuff. You said filter is not an option. I am not familiar with your particular phone. Did you mean it can't be done, or that it wouldn't work? You also said you don't have internet at home. I AM NOT SUGGESTING YOU GET IT!!! However, if you felt, after a few weeks of not having the access to the internet and this site, that you were falling, it could be maybe efshar shayich that it wouldn't be too terrible to get a white list internet connection for the house such as Yeshivanet. That's what I did, and I now only have access to this wonderful site, my bank, and some other innocent and legitimately kosher things.

Just a thought.

And Mazel Tov!!!
I am special
I was chosen for this special mission.
I must succeed.
Klal Yisroel needs me.
Hashem needs me.
Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0
Letter From YH
www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631
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Re: brand new here... 05 May 2011 23:35 #105327

  • regularbachur
Reb Yid, I knew it was a joke - I'm just messing right back! Keep up the lame humor!! About the filter, I don't think it can work on my phone and to be honest, if I have the resolve to get rid of it completely, why not?? I don't need it. And internet in my house isn't an option. My family is very anti internet (G-D bless 'em!). However, I do plan on occasionally trying to get access, maybe in the library, cuz it's so public, to login to stay connected.
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Re: brand new here... 06 May 2011 18:06 #105378

  • Reb Yid
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If you'd like to, there is a way to delete the browser but keep up your email account. I don't know anything about it. But if that would work for you, then you can continue to be in touch with the guys via email straight from your phone, without having to actually speak to anyone. If you are interested, you can ask around the site for guys who wouldn't mind giving you their email address. I would be happy to, if you send me a private message. It would be my pleasure!!

Hatzlocha!!

(And please get in touch with us before the bris!!!)
I am special
I was chosen for this special mission.
I must succeed.
Klal Yisroel needs me.
Hashem needs me.
Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0
Letter From YH
www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631
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