first thing is to get a full proof filter, if you keep on getting around them be in touch with the filter gabi or a computer tech to make sure you don't slip again.

I've got k9 and it has this great setting that you can choose which times to turn off your internet access.  I can't access the internet from 11:30pm or something like that.  It has helped a lot.

--Eye.

I got Eנתיב,    it's like hashem's firewall, untill you ask them to open a site.  Then it's only as compitent as the person who opened the site for me.

k9 and webchaver are both not compatible... i installed both and both CANNOT work with nativ.

Good mroning everybody, todays elason is having a 'graceful fall'.

Y'know when after pleading with hashem to save you, and you rally and NO chance against the YH. Then you daven to have the koach to still daven, and then you can't even bring yourself to that.      Well, that's what happened to me.  a graceful fall.

day -0.1-     this fall was part of the climb, a סולם הרעוא, a yerida letzorech aliya.  Hopefully tomorrow can be day 1.1, and if not, that BH it should at least be day 0.2

keep up the positive attitude that will pull you through!

ויהי ערב ויהי בוקר 0.2 של יום

But it's the  s-m-i-l-e  that counts.    ;D

            I can't control myself, the most I can do is ask hashem to do that.

Honestly, people, if you're gonna fall, at least take some mussar from it.

For example, im am in the mioddle pof a horrible streak of slips and falls, but I still don't see how horrible this will destroy my life!

Old friend wrote on 21 Jul 2011 10:39:


have you read all the stories on GYE? they are pretty scary. Do you realize that everyone who had this problem is usually depressed? Have you read the book " the light of efrayim"? these things will give an idea of what its all about.  hatzlocha and i hope you have the strength to pull through.

Hey! I miss the koala!

Have a great clean day!

Alex

dropping by to say hi!

like your new avatar

(i like koalas too)

someone said "you can always make new friends, but you can never make old friends"

What's up old friend?

E

Thanks AlexEliezer, and Bendarya,  and Zemmy

Still rollign in the filth, I am opening the Gye stories page, especially this onehttp://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/OurStories/Determined4.asp and the follow-up over here http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=1978

Ok i send an urgent email to my 'contact' at nativ (actually he just gave them a haskamah... and happens to have email), begging him to plug the whole i keep using.      If not I will have to swallow my pride and go to R Shternbuch himself, to have their Eidah removed (they aren't foolproof, and the internet itself moves faster than they can control).    It's a good threat because with the Eidah they loose the gedolim who signed on it, plus the vaad-chinuch lehavdil.          Bekitzur if you paskevilim around town that nativ is no longer under hashgacha... you have an Old Freind behind it.


if i am so desperate to see shmutz, than I should be so desperate to end my addiction!!
OK i rad my old story, and cried loudly and painfully for a minute or two. But that isn't enough i have to take into perspective where i am heading with this. What will probably happen very soon.  The following is a dramatization, and has not happened yet...
          I stayed up late and sit infront of the comp. My wife seeing the glow of light from the room, and the inccesant picking at the keys, finnaly wants to know why i stopped going to sleep with her. What has been eating all my time, and stealing ti from her?  She carefully tiptoes into the room and watches me for a half hour veiwing 'bad things'.  And 'my-luck' I get a yetzer hara to see worse things, all while i am being caught red handed.      what happens next, she will probably start crying, and when i hear her voice... ahhhhh  caught red-handed O-U-C-H            I am in B-I-G trouble

          My internet filtering service decides to track my searches and results, and then notifies my wife.  or better they know my shvigger and tell her...      or they freeze my screen, and block all internet aces. and when my wife calls them they tell her...            Or I left the window open and the neibors see, then they tell a rov(who knows nothing of GYE and addictions)...   

          My addiction hits a new stage and I do 'things' with other ppls, cahs veshalom

          hashem pays me back by injuring myself 'there' and needing medical care.... embarrasiong

            I drop out of my next kollel and feel like a failure YET AGAIN...  owwww

            i die, andd malachei chavalah make me carry all the crates of evidence to my trial. then I get there and see all the churban i have done. They start recounting each prat of each aveira!!!!!    אוי לנו מיום הדין !!!!

Hmmm...

Powerful post.

So what are you going to do about that?

E

The offline journey of an Old Freind:
I woke-up an hour early, well rested and happy to enjoy the early-morning tranquility of ארץ ישראל. By the early morning calm you can hear the feint tick-tick of the keyboard as I am overcome by an inhumane obsession, my internet addcition.Something must stop!

I am ashamed to show my face in kollel, my absence has been long-noted, and my facial expression shows everyone just how much i'm 'in trouble'. So instead of running out to learn, i wish my wife a good say as I accompany HER out on HER way to support ME. Ow I know this hurts her so much to see me like this. So despite how accusing it sounds, i put the computer's modem in her purse, aking her to take it with her.  She knows "i love the computer", and she knows i as once addicted, and she susspects I am NOW TOO. But despite the risk of her finding her fears to be true, I know that I need to do ANYTHING to stop this.
After 2 hours of 'trying' anything to see pics, I finnaly give-up. I have nothing but chasunah pics, and B"H everyone there is revoltingly ugly, but my wife (hashem did me a favor). I open a shiur from R Yaakov galinsky, and hear an inspiring vort: אחת שאלתי מאת ה'... There are 4 types of שומרים (a שומר שכר/חינם, שואל, שוכר) and David hamelech teaches us that his nashama in 'on loan' as a שאלה. Oy, nobody is more responsible than a שואל! So what does he ask for שבתי בבית השם, and therefore our הנהגות have the דין of בעליו עמו... and we are פטור בנזקים of our neshama.  "Let go and let G-D"
שאינו בחיקך כאשר ישא ...
But we cannot realise such a freat, untill we make הקב"ה an intricate part of our daily lives. How to do that... there are a million דרכים. And the purpose of them is universal, ואני קרבת אלו-ים לי טוב' וכל זולת זה שיחשביהו בני אדם לטוב אינו!