Rav Dessler explains this concept with a
moshul. Imagine two people are standing by a ladder one is healthy and strong and the other is a cripple. The goal is to reach the top of the ladder and the healthy one starts climbing until he reaches the top, it's not an easy climb but he does it.
The cripple on the other hand has no legs to carry him up, so instead he cries out for help. The master then comes and carries him up to the top.
Now lets try to figure out what's going on here. The goal obviously is to reach the top and the goal was reached by both of them equally, but say the goal was to climb the ladder in order to reach the top, then only one of then succeeded.
In the real world, the
tzaddik gamur spends his entire life doing the
ratzon Hashem by doing mitzvos and fighting the y
etzer harah, he climbs the ladder one rung at a time until he reaches the top. He spends his entire life doing G-d's will and he reaches a very high level because of his own hard work.
The
ba'al aveirah on the other hand spend his time rebelling against Hashem and chasing after selfish desires, even when he tries to change he can't climb the ladder because
nebach he destroyed his legs.
So what does he do, he cries out to Hashem to accept his teshuvah, to bring him back and to bring him close.
If he is sincere, his teshuvah will be accepted, but he still doesn't have working legs rather he is lifted on the shoulders of someone who can climb on their own and that's how he gets to the top, with a special heavenly help.
They may be standing in the same place but who actually did the
ratzon Hashem on a greater level? Surely it's the
tzaddik, after all he got to this place through a lifetime of work and sacrifice for the will of Hashem whereas the
ba'al teshuvah was propelled there with a special heavenly help.
If this is true, we are left with our original question, how do we understand the
ma'amar chazal "The place where
ba'alei teshuvah stand
tzadikim gemurim don't stand"?
The answer to this question requires a little more background on how Hashem runs the world and our role in it.
The purpose of this world is to reveal the glory of Hashem. The primary way of accomplishing this is by sacrificing our will in order to do the will of Hashem. This is the way of a
tzaddik he reveals Hashem's glory through his actions.
But there is another way, and that is by our seeing the way Hashem conducts his world. Even though we are not directly revealing Hashem's glory this way, it can in part be credited to us because it happens as a result of man.
This is the concept, now let us try to understand it with regards to the sinner. The sinner spent his life essentially obscuring Hashem's glory (by doing the opposite of what reveals it). Even when he decides to do teshuvah his good intentions still fall short of anything to repair all the damage that he has done and his efforts are ineffective and insignificant.
However as chazal teach us, open up a hole like a pinhead etc. when someone cries out to Hashem with real teshuvah, even though his efforts hardly amount to a pinhead, he is granted
siyatah dishmaya of an unimaginable degree.
Now this is incredible, Hashem gave us the ability to do teshuva and reach levels, that essentially take a lifetime free of sin, and sacrifice for the will of Hashem to accomplish. We destroyed our legs and Hashem carries us up on his back.
When We do teshuva, we reveal a part of Hashem's glory that the
tzaddik gamur does not reveal and that is the unbelievable chessed of teshuvah. The small part that the
ba'al teshuva plays in this revelation of Hashem's tremendous chessed is something that the
tzaddik gamur cannot achieve.
This is also why the mishnah uses the term tzadik gamur, someone who never sinned.
Sometimes you hear people say, let me just do the deed and I will do teshuvah later. Sometimes you even hear people saying, “let me first see what it’s like, if I know what it is and then I realize that it’s empty,
it will be much easier for me not to want it”. After all, we find that ba’alei teshuvah are usually stronger in their commitment, this can be because they know that they are not missing out.
After what we have learned, we can see how this line of thinking is flawed. First of all, when we actively pursue pleasure, we are training ourselves to have more desire. More importantly though is the fact that we really can never make up for lost ground. We can never fully recover, we will never be like the tzaddik gamur who is untainted and pure in his service to Hashem.
Another point is that we must realize the importance of crying out to Hashem in teshuvah. Sometimes we want to feel like the tzaddik gamur when what we really need to be doing is seeking help. We need to be aware that we are crippled and that our role is through the path of teshuvah. This path requires seeking the Help of Hashem, as well as the help of those who can guide us and help us climb that ladder.