The purpose of this thread is to share whatever thoughts I hear, read or randomly pop into my head that might be helpful to other recovering addicts

#1

The problem with my davening is that although I am asking Hashem for help, deep down, I am really asking him to get lost.

Eli

The problem with us messed up folks is that "Machshava Meivi Lidei Maaseh" doesn't work very well for us. We get so wrapped up in wondering if we are really sincere that we just give up trying because we think we don't really mean it anyways.

So we need to look at it the other way. "Feelings follow actions". Or in Lashon haKodesh, "Naase Venishma". We need to just do what we need to do and not think about what we should be feeling. Once we get used to doing it we will start feeling it too. But that is a gift from Hashem.

So just Daven. Say the words, and pretend you mean it. Because the truth is that even deeper down, so deep that you can't even see it right now, you really DO mean it. Your Neshama is crying out for closeness to Hashem. but the Yetzer Hora/addiction won't let you feel it right now.

Gevura,

You are absolutely correct. Us ill people can't count on a nice dvar tora changing our life. we need to do something actively to get change going. (Like the person who is completely involved in aveiros needs azivas haCheit before anything else. Someone who is adduk will not be helped by vidui, charata and kabbala al ha'assid

I just thought that Machshava Meivi Lidei Maaseh was a nice generic name for the thread because it started with a thought.

The one caveat is that a person actively changing something without an inner desire to change won't do them any good either. (the story of my life)

On my current 90 day journey, I have had much fewer slips than the first time that I started which lasted 75 days. I believe this is due to Dov confronting me (in his firm yet caring way over here guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-Wall-of-Honor/145810-My-Story---Reallygettingthere?limit=15&start=45#200521 ) and showing me very clearly where honesty is so integral to the recovery process

Eli

#2

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


Perfect timing. The Chinuch tell us regarding the mitzva in this week's parsha of v'etzem lo sishbuiru vo - Not breaking the bones of the Pesach sacrifice :

Adam niffal k'fi peulosov A person will develop according to his actions.


He explains that even a complete rasha who consistently engages in good behavior will eventually turn for the good.

Perhaps this rule for us addicts is not totally applicable, (ie; don't expect not to be an addict even after being clean for many years) we can still however use this in other areas of our lives in a way that will contribute to our recovery.

The Gemara in Shabbos 119b say that (destructive) fires are found in a place where there is chillul Shabbos. The funny thing is that the Gemara says that the fires will break out when people will not be able to put them out - on Shabbos. Hold on one minute. If there people are being punished for not keeping Shabbos, then why aren't they putting out the fire. The laws of Shabbos only stop people who keep them.

Perhaps, the people we are talking about were "fakers" ie: they kept Shabbos publicly but not privately. So there they are, stuck watching their house burn down and suffering emotionally because they don't actually believe in what they are doing they're just putting on a show.

I once heard a lecture from David Luchins. He told a story about someone wrote to him that he didn't believe in G-d or Torah but kept shabbos and mitzvos out of a sense of national solidarity. Dr. Luchins respond, "Dear Idiot, not only have you lost your share in the world to come, you have also lost your share in this world"

People who live fake lives will not only miss out on eternity they are even missing out on the pleasures of this world

Go live for real

Eli