bardichev wrote on 07 Sep 2009 16:17:


8) :D

GABBEHH

ZE IS DOOO

DI FRUA MIT DI GEENER HEMDIL

NISHT OF SHABBOS GEZEN!!!

HEY! i heard that!
You guys have some talent to make me laugh today!
thanks! 

OK NOW THAT YOU GOT THE JOKE MAY I TRANSLATE IT FOR HABIB???

of course!!!

GABBEH = GABBAI =EFSHAR

SHE IS HERE

THE WOMAN

WITH THE GREEN SHIRT

NOT SEEN ON SHABBOS

(A JOKE ,IT'S APLAY ON NOT ON SHABBOS GERERDT)

:D :D :D :D :D
ha that's funny

NOT ON SHABBOS GERERDT- one of my sem friends had to explain that phrase to me like every time she said it, and i finally got it one day

habib- you just gotta mitzvah cuz you made me laugh!

A fellow finds himself in front of the Gates of Heaven. God greats him and explains that it's not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria that have to be met before entry is allowed

For example, did the man go to synagogue? No? "That's not good," says God.

Was he generous? Did he give money to the poor? Charities? No? "That's not good," says God.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? God is becoming concerned.

Exasperated, God says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "Well, there was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a biker gang. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", says God, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?

"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.

A newly married man goes for his first shabbos meal at his in-laws.

When dessert comes out,he takes one bite of the cake and spits it out right away.

"Uch!This cake is hard as a rock!"

The father-in-law says to him:

"Excuse me!You know what we would've given for that in the holocaust?!"

The son in law answers:

"Yea,but then it was still fresh."

wow.
pure chutzpah
that made me laugh so hard

Great Vort!

Ya Know when you buy a car & then you realize you bought a "Lemon"?

A friend of mine just had that experience with his Esrog! Lol

Efshar Letaken wrote on 06 Oct 2009 04:34:


: : ;D

on the first page it says that a mitzvah is a 'good deed' - that must be some sort of mistake; reformers brainwash people who dont know hebrew to think that a mitzvah is a good deed - it's part of their avodah zara, mkaing judaism into a chrisitanity 'do whatever you feel is right and brings you to g-d' type of spirituality that is the opposite of yiddishkeit. this might be wahy secular israelis prefer the frum shuls - they know hebrew and know that mitzvah means commandment, so they can see the lies of the reform for themselves - anyway, while maysim tovim are great, not every mitzvah seems like a good deed to us - shakling a lulav and an esrog is certainly not a 'good deed', it's a mitzvah!

Why is everybody so serious recently?

Let me add me bit. The priest had to go away for some time and didn't know who to leave as his substitute to listen to the sins of his church goers. At the end of his tender he asked the local rabbi if he would step in for him. Sure, said the rabbi, but I dunno what to do. No problem, replied the priest, just sit with me this Sunday and look how I do it.

next Sunday the rabbi sat with the priest and a goy comes in and owes up that he stole a chicken from his neighbor so the priest told him to put a quarter in the pushke on the table and all will be forgiven. Another one comes in and tells the priest that he killed 2 goyim this week, "that's already very serious2 says the priest, "put $10 in the Pushke".
Next week as the rabbi sits in for the priest all goes well till a goy comes in and says I killed somebody. The rabbi scratches his head, how does this go? In the end he tells the goy "put $10 in the pushke and go kill another goy"