Since Tisha Baav falls always out on the same day as the first day of Pesach this is somewhat relevant to this thread.

A poor yid's toilet broke on Erev Pesach after Chatzos. Gevalt!

He was living in an apartment building and had only one toilet. He pleaded with every plumber in the Heimishe Yellow Pages to come and fix his toilet but was unsuccessful. He then called Chaveirim and through their pull, he got a plumber to come down. He was then told by the plumber that he had to get a new toilet. There was no pluming supply stores open in Boro Park so he had to shlep to Home Depot. Finally he got the plumber back in his house and he finished installing the toilet ionly a few minutes before the Zman.

By Lecht Bentching, he entered the elevator with his old toilet, so he could throw it out. Several people in the elevator looked at him and one sighed and remarked, "A Naya Chumra".

ME & Pintele,

I'm not sure I was aloud to laugh this hard Erev T'Sha B'Av.

E.L.

Efshar Letaken wrote on 29 Jul 2009 17:15:


Adaraba E.L. - now that your heart has opened up - we can start to mourn from a perspective of Simcha and not from treifa Atzvus.

Pintele Yid

bs"d

Pintele Yid wrote on 29 Jul 2009 17:47:


GEVALT!!! Thank you!

On A More Serious Note.

As T'sha B'Av come upon us & Unfortunately, we weren't Zoche this year to make it As Of Yet (Moshiach, Lets Go You Can Still Surprise Us) a Yom Tov We need to cry for the Shechina that is still in Golus after all this time as well as for the Churban Beis Hamikdash & I think above all out own Churban that we all have within us.

Our Broken Hearts, Broken Families, Broken Neshomos, Broken Promises to Hashem that we will be better.

There's nothing more powerful then Crying Out Our Hearts to Hashem, that Enough is Enough!

We wont out of this Golus! The Golus on our Ruchnius & The Golus on our Gashmius!

All we want is you Hashem!

And if we really mean it will will be Zoche to Greet Moshiach very soon with our heads held high, Amein!

I Wish for all GYE Members & to all of Klal Yisroel A Easy Fast.

E.L.

Someone approaches a Mekubal who has situated himself at the kotel. He is there in order to give Brachos to those interested. One approaches him, and states that he would like a Bracha.
  The Mekubal informs him that : "It costs 100 shekel with my eyes open, and 200 shekels with my eyes closed." (It is understood that a Bracha with closed eyes means there is much more kavanah involved, and so therefore it costs more money.)
  The man replies: "I'll take the 200 shekel one with your eyes closed."
The Mekubal closes his eyes, and starts to give his bracha.

When he finished, and opened his eyes,......he found out that both his watch, and wallet were missing.....as well as the recipient of the "bracha".

This is a true story that happened several weeks ago.

We had several guests at the Friday night meal. One of the guests told the other that he was divorced. My (just turned) 8 year old who overheard the conversation and knows no Chochmos asked him, "Well who started hating who first?"

Pintele Yid

It's Erev Yom Kipur 4 in the morning, Yankel wakes up grabs his Slichos & runs to Kaporeh Shlogen.

After waiting on line in the Rain & Mud for an half hour he gets his Kaporeh (Chicken).

Yankel opens his Slichos says Zeh Chalifosi three times & turns the Kaporeh over his head, gives it a Kick or 2.

Now it's time to take it to the Shochet.

Yankel looks at the time & its getting late.

So he grabs his Kaporeh in one hand his Slichos in the other & runs to the Shochet.

It's Still raining & suddenly Yankel slips & lands on his Behind!

The Kaporeh goes flying out of one hand, the Slichos from the other, & Yankel gets up & raises his hands to heaven & says.

"Bashefer! Yetz Hub Ich, Nisht Kein Sliche, Nisht Kein Mechile, In Nisht Kein Kaporeh!"

Sorry but this joke doesn't really work out well in English.

It's worth learning Yiddish just for this one.

E.L.

HAHAHAHAHA

Gevaldik!!!!

bs"d

:D :D :D

thats not fair. i read the whole joke and i can't understand the punch line.  >
where's my translator?

OK HABIB I ADMIT

SOME JOKE A HALF DECENT IN YIDDISH

BUT IF IT TRSNSLATED LITERALLY IT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL

THESE ARE ONE OF THEM

PLUS..

SOME JOKE ARE ONLY FUNNY WHEN THEY ARE SAID BY A BADCHEN WHEN EVERYONE IS GIDDY AND OVERTIRED

giddy and overtired? that's us alright!
got everything but the mechile...

Letakain,
If only you knew what you just said, that makes this joke that much funneier.

Let me just say this. Well the part you don't understand is just about the whole joke.

I hope you won't kill me when you find out what the jokes all about.

This is just about as much as I can say about it without getting into any trouble.