I want a place were the thoughts in Torah related to addiction, 12 steps, and Yahadus can be collected for my benefit as well as for anyone else who may benefit. Therefore the topic will be locked, to facilitate this purpose. This is not a final decision, if other's feel that a discussion would be better, I'm open to hearing their POV and reconsidering.

People who would like to post a public comment, and I would love to get to know them as well!, are encouraged to do so at my introduction post, Hello from Leo!

Hallel:

I was thinking about the words of Hallel (due to a personal situation) and the words "Odchu ki anisunee" struck me as saying that Hashem punished us. I see now in Reb Scroll that it means "You have answered me" (and all the other places in Hallel it refers to pure salvation - direct punishment for averos, being saved from enemies, etc.) but this past Pesach as I said (and mis translated) the words, I felt that there would yet come a time that I will thank Hashem for the troubles. What brings me back, now and in the past? Hitting my personal "bottom" of that period.

May Hashem grant that my bottom's be a loss of His presence and a lust for Him and when I take the artificial sweetener instead I should sense this sooner. I'm told that this is from the Rosh, but 'od chazon lamoed'.

TaPhSiC:

Just learned with my chavrusah the Ramban that Hashem made a second bris with Klal Yisroel with klolos, after the Yidden breached the first bris with cheit hEgel. It seems this is a clear cut limmud from the Torah for using a method like TaPhSiC, where one uses a shvuah and consequences to modify one's behavior.

Hashem should help me, and the rest of Klal Yisroel, to know the right way to serve him.

Leo Lazlo wrote on 28 Apr 2011 03:10:

Sure enough, today I heard from R' Bleich that it does mean "Even though you have punished me", that life with yissurim are still very much worth living. Having just spoken to one of the Gedolie HaDor and told him that I don't even know who I am anymore (one day I want recovery, one day I desire to act out -- which is the real me??), I can emphasize a little with spiritual yissurim. Nu, so it's worth living, keeping the pikodon of Hashem.

With Hashem's help I will do so, and hopefully return my neshamah to him, when He asks for it, in a condition that will please Him.

Test

guess the test worked.

welcome back.

seems like it's not locked any longer.

b'hatzlachah

Yup, I'm back and better then ever.

I see that one can no longer lock their own threads, a feature I appreciated so that my own thoughts stayed in one place without being mixed up (kind of like a digital sefer on recovery). Ah well, it is what it is. (Unless of course someone can tell me how to lock a new thread, which I would appreciate.)