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#2 Guard your eyes.

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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.

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TOPIC: #2 Guard your eyes. 1703 Views

#2 Guard your eyes. 03 Mar 2010 21:54 #56183

mekubal
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I noticed myself today looking at specific news related website that is related to my general interest that one might would assume to be relatively kosher... but I continued looking at it, in hope that I would see or read something that would captivate my attention.

Filters are not a practical in my situation and filters would miss the kind of stuff that I am inappropriately interested in -or- filter out the material necessary for my occupation. So this made me rethink and go over #2.

I just want to comment that in #2, only negative-reinforcement techniques are listed: "give ourselves a pinch that hurts, give 25 cents to tzedaka."

I can't claim to be complete success myself, but while many have realized positive reinforcement works on the longer-scale, it maybe worthwhile to implement on the short term scale.

IE: When looking at something inappropriate, stop and say Okay Yetzer Hara, you have a tayvah... Lets compromise. I will stop looking at this and I'll do X to satisfy myself instead... and get back to doing what I should be doing. X is something different for everybody... Maybe its food, Maybe its a blatt of gemara. Maybe its listening to music. Whatever it is, it is a positive reinforcement.

I think some people have tried to make similar points in other forums, but I wanted to make post here to the general public that want to work through the GYE handbooks.

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Re: #2 Guard your eyes. 04 Mar 2010 09:35 #56267

the.guard Current streak: 745 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	Good point, thanks.
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest. Last Edit: by .

Re: #2 Guard your eyes. 17 Dec 2011 19:48 #128660

Blind Beggar OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Not a sexaholic, just trying to be good. Posts: 780 Karma: 12	The one practical thing that I have gained from the recent GYE kumzits is to start reading the Handbook. What do I see in Tool 2? The 3 Second Rule. What a great reminder. At work there are really only one or two triggery women on Sunday, so I can start the 3 Second Rule on them tomorrow before they all come back in force on Monday. I'll keep y'all posted!
	The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars. If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look. I can guard my eyes. I want to guard my eyes. I do guard my eyes. Why do I say these four lines? Last Edit: by .

Re: #2 Guard your eyes. 23 Dec 2011 06:47 #129117

Blind Beggar
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The 3 Second Rule is not much help at work where most nisyonos are over in less than 3 seconds anyway.

The next tool in the handbook doesn't have a thread.

#3 Making fences.

This is the main factor keeping me clean. Every fourth Thursday night I make a shvua in the name of ADNI from then until 1 a.m. Friday morning 4 weeks later (that way there is always an overlap) that if I catch myself viewing or imagining erotica and I remember the shvua and I do not stop within 30 seconds then I will go to Kever Rochel (very possible but a very big investment in time and effort and my wife will have to be informed) within 72 hours. If I am an onus and cannot go, then I will go within 72 hours of being able to as long as that is in the next 6 months.

This is a single fence TaPhSiC. Look in the handbook for the double fence version.

Are you worried about making a shevuo? You should be! There is a thread on the subject here : www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3232.msg86331#msg86331

The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?

Last Edit: 23 Dec 2011 06:52 by .

Re: #2 Guard your eyes. 02 Jan 2012 22:02 #129834

Blind Beggar OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Not a sexaholic, just trying to be good. Posts: 780 Karma: 12	The best way to test a TaPhSiC vow is to ask a sphinx of black quartz. If you don't get it, Google : Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.
	The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars. If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look. I can guard my eyes. I want to guard my eyes. I do guard my eyes. Why do I say these four lines? Last Edit: by .