Since my knowledge of Torah, Gemara... etc is still quite limited, I will refrain from commenting on those parts... 

What I can comment on perhaps, is the practical side. I have noticed that when I go to places with girls (can't avoid them), I often come home, and have a much more difficult time avoiding the next step (internet...), than if I would have been somewhere else that day. Thus I disagree about the "running away" part: if you 'challenge' yourself, are you maybe acting on YH's advice? Are you actually giving in?

Have a mind of true iron and steel, and say no right in the beginning!

/SO

Our addiction (YH) tells us that we can do Teshuva by passing by places we used to go, just to say we passed by and didn't go in again, or didn't meet that person again.  But this is a setup, because when you do it enough times you will go back to it.

Its like this story in 6 chapters:

Chapter 1: I walk down the street, I see a hole, I fall in.
Chapter 2: I walk down the street, I see a hole, I fall in, I get up.
Chapter 3: I walk down the street, I see a hole, I walk around it.
Chapter 4: I walk down the street, I see a hole, I cross to the other side.
Chapter 5: I walk down the other side of the street
Chapter 6: I walk down a different street.

This is the story of recovery... setting boundaries, falling sometimes, getting back up, keep going but not pushing it.

Elya,

Well said, as usual.

Chazak V'Emazt!

Debbie etc.

You make some good points.

I hope you know the story about the rabbi who told the first party of an argument that he was right...
After the second explained his side, the rabbi said, ''You are right."
Upon which, the rebbetzin couldn't help but complain that they cannot both be right. He told her "You are also right."

Therefore, even though you have made some good points, you will not find that anyone who knows torah hashkofoh agrees with some of your main conclusions.

If you need some proof, here is a talk by Rabbi Mayer Twerski, a rosh-yeshiva in YU, on this subject.

This talk may be good for most people to listen to.

www.torahweb.org/audioFrameset.html#audio=rtwe_091006

In order to understand nach, we have to use the genuine interpretation, torah she-be-al-peh.

The way I remember it, Dovid Hamlech did ask Hashem to test him, and he failed the test - based on his level . If we woud have done the same thing, it would not be considered anything close to an aveiroh.

There seems to be a discussion here as whether to or not to AVOID. But the thing is that we have to avoid as much as possible, and at the same time work on other things to combat the YH.

I also am not a talmid chochom, but the way I rembember it, the fact that one is faced with the same situation, nisoyon, as the time he sinned, and does not do so now, is condidered a  true SIMON, or  proof that he really did tshuvoh. However, in most cases, it is not recommended that one actually go there at all.

Chazak, Yes the Rambam says so in Hilchos teshuvah, that the true sign that you have given up the aveira is being in the same situation again and not failing. However, there is no Mitzvah to put yourself in that situation!

I don't know about you all, but for me the only thing that helps me now for almost three years to have progressive voctory over lust and not falling back into the trap is, working the twelve steps. For me nothing else worked, working the twelve steps of recovery is the only thing that helps me stay sober one day at a time...

Kookoorikoo, can you share with us a little bit about how you implement the 12 steps in your life. What do you do when a test comes? How do you overcome it? What steps do you do each day? How did you make the 12 steps part of your life...

Well I don't overcome it, Hashem does it for me...

Kookoorekoo,

The Guard shlitoh explained the questions that I for one have had in the back of my mind. I also wanted to understand what you are saying. If you answer these questions, or some of them, it will help us all to understand. At least all of us who are not familiar with the twelve steps.

Chazak,

It appears to me they you are still trying to control and enjoy it. You think that you can do it your way. Until you will not driven to the point of despair by your own actions and thinking, as long as you think that there is another way. There is no chance for recovery. It is like a cancer patient taking vitamins instead of chemo.

The twelve steps is a change of attitude, a new way of life. Living only with Hashem 24/7. Accepting our limitations, knowing our vulnerabilities, admitting our wrongs, and living a life that demands rigorous honesty, is all part of this new way of life.

When I say Well I don't overcome it, Hashem does it for me... and then you say "heh heh" it only tells how self-obsessed you are. I was not any different before I got into the twelve step program. If you want to know more about how it works go to aa.org and look for a an open meeting in your area. Go there and listen in, and see how you can relate to them. When you will be ready accept that you have incurable mental disease and admit that you have no other option but to work the twelve steps of recovery, I will be glad to introduce you to a meeting in your area.

kookooreekoo

Kookooreekoo,

Thank you for your observations, which are valid, but not necessarily completely accurate.

I changed the wording on my message to you because it sounded like I was laughing at you. That it not what I meant to convey. Actually, I have respect for anyone who is so much improved and I believe you said that you are actually clean for years. I was just trying to find out how you did it, as I do not know that much about the 12 Step Method, at least not from personal experience.