EBD, if you are gonna yell like that you gotta warn me so i can put the cotton balls in my ears....


EIEIO

ZEMMY!

PUT YOUR COTTON BALLS IN YOUR EARS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

There. How's that for a warning?

Anyways, that was for Avi -who asked you to listen in?

;D

E

well, it's hard not to listen if you yell....
i need a warning for the warning
and about cotton balls, they do a great job. GuardYourEars.org

still available by email tzaddik90@gmail.com

Dear friends,

I hope to include here what i should.

My name is tzaddik90.

I joined this forum several months ago. There was a time when the forum and I were one. All the time I would post, read, check pm’s.

This lust disease is a disease of isolation. I was driven here under the whip of depression from isolation. My thread starts  with a tale of how I felt such isolation, in a new neighborhood with no friends.

As my journey on GYE continued, I progressively learned more of my character defects, became increasingly honest with just how far my addiction went, and more. There was a time where this forum was literally my higher power and lifeline. I needed to check it before candle lighting on Friday to live off of a pm and the friendship and care therein.

Along my journey, I was sent off to SA. In the beginning of my SA program, the program did not yet work for me, as I did not yet understand it. At that time, I needed the forum to help me make the gye/sa transition. GYE’s in SA had helped me all the way through.

In fact, GYE itself prepared me for my first step and acceptance of my allergy, and put me miles ahead of the regular newcomer in SA.

Now, I do not feel it is constructive to me to post or read. Actually, I find it to be destructive. I have been wasting time here. This is not good for me, for my sobriety. It has negative effects on my sanity, and brings in guilt, etc.
Why make a cause to surrender if I can just stop? I will say the two weeks Dov suggested I leave the forum were tremendous for me. And so that is how it must be. At least for today, my sobriety must include not wasting time putting weird pics on the cheulent thread if I don’t have to.

I wasted time again yesterday and really got the toxicity right in my gut, eyin the white book. It had an almost immediate effect.
So I decided that if I say goodbye, it will help me make proper separation and closure.

I know that if I need a tool from the forum, it is always welcome for me. I know I need a support group, fellowship, tovim shnayim min ha’echad. I have most of that if not all from SA, so today GYE is toxic for my sobriety. It it a way for me to lose my self control and escape, which is what kills me and throws me into lust’s hands.

See Recovery continues from Roy K. , where he makes movies become part of sobriety. Not just because of the lust in the movies, but because they erode his sobriety-they make him loosen and loose his self control, eyin sham. I may occasionally visit, but I must kill the obsession to use the forum when I don’t need it.

I will not enumerate the names of all those who helped me. You all helped me, and those who helped more know.

I will say that when I first posted my issues here on this thread, I WAS dying of rid. I was not even able to do many mitzvos. I really needed GYE to save my life.
After my first post on my SOS thread, I distinctly remember the contribution of two people. Why these two over any other, ask God.

But it was zemmirosshabbos that replied to my post and asked me to elaborate on my situation. When I saw that, I allowed myself to be open and use the forum as a place to be listened to and receive help. I elaborated, and elaborated, and elaborated, all because of his invite.

The next post that day was from bendurdaya. It said “we’re here, hopping in and out”.
This short post did more for me than anyone could have imagined. It brought me out of isolation, it let me know that there are people here who are there for me anytime.

With Bards gvuros dikdusha approach, he crushed my whole depression problem in one or two posts.
Yosef Hatzaddik in a single pm helped solve my entire identity crisis. 

Dov has more than once posted and re-guided me just a few degrees to the left or right and save me from disaster.
7up, in one two line email, got me to join SA.
And BB, if not for calling me on the phone the night before my first meeting, I may never have shown up to SA the next day.

What can be learned from this is that this forum does save lives, and it may take just one sentence to make that change. Or one post.

So if your’e sobriety today and you are healing by being on this forum, know what you are doing for the newbies, know your responsibility, know what God given power you have to give life to another. This forum can give life to others by posting to others, picking up the newbies, posting your own experiences, and even donating some greenbacks to the holy cause.

Thank you holy brothers.

I love you all.

I am not fully recovered.

I never will be.
But I can be sober today. Surrender today, and each time I must.
Only God can remove this from me. And only I can let him help me, im ain ani li, mi li.
My email is always open to all. I do check it daily. I still talk program, keep up with friends.

I figured I would leave you with the above point of how you all helped me and can help others, and all it entrails entails.

Thank you all. All whoever sent me a pm. All who ever helped me.  All who ever gave me your friendship, or scolding.

My blessing are that everyone here recovers, and that GYE in due time should expand it’s effectiveness to whatever can help them spread their message, whether it be live groups, fellowships, phone rosters, or whatever else may help GYE carry it’s message of sexual sobriety to others, where they can share their pain, struggles, and experience to grow in service, unity, and recovery, to do God’s will the way that he wanted it to be done. Amen.

See you all in Gan eden!,

Avi/tzaddik90@gmail.com


p.s. you think it hurts that kid's face to have those needles up his nostril?...

Hey...that was a stupid picture.

But it was cool.

Hatzlocha Avi!

:'(

dear sweet avi,
i know you are doing the right thing by placing your sobriety above all and i applaud your efforts. at the same time you will be missed. you brought such a life and color to the forum and you helped me very much (as you know).
wishing you continued hatzlocha and bracha,
zany zemmy

p.s. how often do i need to feed the iguana? and is he makpid to eat only She'aris?

The forum will miss you.
Kol Hakavod for getting your priorities right.

Le'hitraot.

tzaddik90/Special Weapons And Tactics wrote on 30 May 2011 12:33:


Phew!!!

You WILL be getting phonecalls from me, Be"H.

I just cannot part from a dear friend so easily. Because your SA guy have you now does not mean that I agree to lose you!!!

7yipol wrote:


but seriously, what is a blackberry?