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from a fiendfriend

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i wanted to post, but i think there's something wrong with my glasses,, iimm sseeeeiinngg ddoouubblleee, ssoo iivvee ggoottttaa ggoo

Seeing Double? I think maybe you should see a doctor!
Seeing Double? I think maybe you should see a doctor!

Okay folks,

Here I am.

Ate my keziasim, cut myself off from technology for 7 days.

And now I'm back.

And I am powerless.

It is now that I feel how sick I am.

Yes, I am sick. No, I am not a Rasha. Just sick.

I feel ill.

I feel compelled to slip and slide and look at things that I shouldn't be until I finally fall.

Why do I want to?

I don't want to.

I really feel sick.

The YH wants me to feel dirty. As if I soiled myself with a few careless looks.

I don't want to.

I'm rambling.

I think that only after such a long break from the outside world do I feel so sick.

Not as if I was flying in the seven heavens for seven days.

My Pesach definitely had its ups and downs. As a matter of fact I spent the first day and a half of chol hamoed in total depression over some things that I can't change and am hoping for yeshuas Hashem.

But now I feel how sick I am.

I am a lust drunk. I smell it, I want it. No matter how much it doesn't pay. No matter how much I want not to blow it. I have this little demon inside of my trying to push me closer and closer to the red line. To toe it, and finally cross it.

Hopefully this post will help me to remind myself why I am here in the first place.

A gezinten Zimmer y'all,

E

Hey BD
keep it up use the GEVURAH from this weeks sefira

r twerski just came out with a book called gevurah

saw it in manny's, good old manny's

tzaddik90/Special Weapons And Tactics wrote on 28 Apr 2011 06:01:

it's a great book, classical R' Twerski, some biography, lot of divrei torah, lot about the Steps, and some great stories

a gezint zimmer reb EBD,
remember to adjust your bike helmet strap to accommodate the sefira beard. see you at the Haas Promenade. bring a bottle of petel and we can get a circuit or two: talpiot-neve yakov.
zemmmmmmssssss

i know for a fact that ebd lives neither in neve yakov or talpiot, and zems, you forgot he is a chassid and has the same beard all year round

ebd, did i represent you right?
quite the escape artist, my cuddly gingy friend,

the dapper durdaya will return?

Avi!

Be careful...

You're going to blow my cover.

Now everybody knows that I live in Ashdod, Elad, Beitar, Ramat Shlomo, Bet Shemesh, Ramot Gimmel, Emanuel, Sorotzkin, Har Nof, Bayit Vegan, Kiryat Sefer, Brachfeld, Gush 80, Arzei, Beis Yisrael, Meah Shearim, and the Rova...

Git Shabbos,

E

now, don't be tooo obvious at disclosing where i live, mr eskimo (vidok!!!lol) but hey, i guess i did the same to you, so eye for an eye, they say
gee, it's good we both have one eye left

so durdaya, what i meant to pull with pliers was, ....what are your thoughts? where are you holding? how's recovery? what insights can you share, fears, or hindsight?

this makes the man, not his suit, not his willpower, rather by his rigorous honesty and mutual vulnerability

to ice coffee,
-mr hyde