But No Green Elephants (Part XII)
Ruchi ran as quickly as her feet would carry her, not even thinking about what it was that she was trying to escape, nor where it was that she was trying to escape to.
She just felt miserable.
How! How could it be that I let Tatty and Mommy down so terribly? What will become of me? When this gets out my reputation is going to be shot! Who’s going to hear about a shidduch with a girl who killed her father and mother because she couldn’t stop thinking about green elephants?
After a few minutes, she ran out of breath, and stopped at the side of the road –forlorn and sad. She cried for another few minutes, until she was startled by a shadow looming over her.
“Hey there Miss! Why is such a lovely young lady looking so distressed?”, said the stranger in a velvety tone.
His words caused her to blush. No one in the derfl ever had spoken to her that way before, and they made her feel both indignant and special all at once. She looked up, and she saw that the voice belonged to none other than the dapper doctor himself!
“Excuse me sir, but I am not allowed to talk to strangers”, said Ruchi, having half come to her senses.
“Says who?”.
“Says my parents, the Torah, common sense… that’s who!”
“My my my, aren’t we just a bit touchy today. You just looked so sad and lonely, I thought you could use a friend…
“You see, I’m also lonely, I could use some company. It’s not easy going from town to shtetl to derfl all on your own, setting up shop and then dismantling it and moving on again. I’ve got a ton of money, but no one to spend it on. But I keep on working because I just looove helping people especially myself!!”
This guy is crazy thought Ruchi or maybe he’s trying to hit on me… either way, I’d better get rid of him.
“I’ve been looking for a companion for the longest time. I’m so lonely myself. I’m also Jewish, you know.”
“Will you be so kind as to leave me alone? I can see where this conversation is leading, and I’m not as na?ve as I look. Nice Frum Jewish girls do not hang out with dapper quacks doctors like you. Period. Finished.”
“Aha! Nice Frum Jewish girls you say. Come on Rivki—”
“That’s Ruchi you dolt!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said the doctor with silky sarcasm, “Ruuuchi. So like I was saying, could you please cut the ‘Nice Frum Jewish girls’ C*** out. You look a bit smarter than that. Besides, I saw the way you ran out of your parents house…
“Look Ruchi, I might not know you that well, but do you want me to believe that you’re a Nice Frum Jewish Girl and that’s why you ran away from home… Or did Tatty and Mommy catch you being not such a Nice and not so Frum Jewish Girl? Ehhh..?”
Now Ruchi was B”h a fine Bais Yaakov Meidel, and she didn’t quite catch the innuendo which the dirty-minded dapper doctor layered on so thickly. Nevertheless, in the heat of the moment, after the day's turbulent events –especially because she had her own ideas about her Nice Frum Jewish girl status… her mind was blurred. Besides which, there was something mesmerizing in the dapper doctor’s tone…
Omigosh! Even this perfect stranger knows that I couldn’t control myself… I must be the talk of the derfl by now! Omigosh! I am soooo embarrassed! What’s going to be with me!!! Maybe he’s right? Even if I go back home… How will I ever be able look Tatty and Mommy in the face after what I’ve done? I feel so dirty… Am I becoming a ‘bum’? Am I already a ‘bum’? I guess so, look at me here carrying on a conversation with this sheygetz!
“Come Ruchi, check out my fiaker… Model 1910…the derfl can’t offer any such comfort and elegance… and that’s just for starters…
And just as Ruchi, in an almost altered state of mind almost succumbed to the advances of the dapper devil, a cloud of dust began to rise on the horizon down yonder…
The darned doctor was so swept up in his attempts to reel in his prey, that he didn't even lift his head until his arch nemesis was upon him with a mighty yell…
“YOUZE MESSIN AROUND YOUZE LOOK LIKE A DOCTA
BUT YOUZE A BIG BAD GUY IN A LOTTA TROUBLES.
YOUZE GONNA GET YOUZE HEAD KICKED IN IN DA REBBE’S HOIF WHEN WE GET YOU DERE. HEH HEH.
YOUZE GOTTA GET OUT BEFORE YOUZE GET TO DERFL MAN.
YOUZE BAD!!I SEE IT YOUZE DA WORST YOUZE LOOK GOOD BUT YOUZE REAL BAD.
HEY ONE SMACK ON THE FACE WOULDA SET YOUZE STRAIGHT A WHILE BACK.
YOUZE BEG FO FO-GIVENESS. HEH HEH.YOUZE GOTTA FESS U…”
Ruchi felt woozy, this was a bit too much for her frayed nerves. Besides which… she had never seen anyone or anything like the creature who started knocking the dapper doctor from one tree to another. The last thing she remembered before she fainted was that the man got off of his huge horse or is that an elephant? and said very softly, “I’m sorry if I shocked you Miss, but you’ll see –everything is going to be just fine from now on…” and went right back to playing bongo drums on the dapper quack's head…
TO BE CONTINUED…