Hey Obor,
Thanks for the welcome, Bruchim Hanimtzaim as the saying goes. Okay.....so lets see what is different..hmm....
Well for one thing I installed not 1, but 2 strong internet filters which, within seconds of any "attempt" to view a forbidden site, sends emails directly to my wife's smartphone. For me the Internet Filter has been the biggest help. Even after 55 clean day, If I didnt have a filter, I would probably be going places that I should not go.
Second is telling my wife for long list or reasons. First and foremost is plain and simple shame. You see at first I tried to be an "Oyverchuchom" and I would test the filter to see how well it worked and if I could beat it somehow, to which I found out that it worked great, by my wife also found that it worked great and would bring it to my attention first thing in the morning. "Joe, I noticed you tried to access so-and-so site, as well as so-and-so site and so-and-so site", she would make sure to inform me. In a wierd sense, my wife seeing me "try" to access a site (eventhough I really couldn't access any sites) that made me feel perverted and silly. So eventually I just stopped trying becuase A) I can't access it anyways and
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at least I'll be able to have a normal conversation with my wife the next morning.
Honestly it didn't come easily with my wife (Rome wasn't built in one day) and it probably took about a year or so for her to come around. The first time I told her was when I had reached 60 days sobriety, my first ever which, was only a few months after I first realized myself that I had a problem. After spilling the beans, I asked her what she thinks and she just looked at me and said "Wow, you're a pretty perverted guy". But that was the beginning of my healing, the ice-breaker. Then I had some on and off periods managing sobriety for no more that 2 weeks at a time. A few months down the line I realized that telling my wife was not enough and that I really need help, which was when I joined an SA group. The group helped and also taught me the importance of sharing our problem with our wifes and not just telling them. I didn't tell my wife about my SA meetings for at least a few months in, becuase heck I was just too imbarresed. But after manging 30 days of sobriety, I sat down my wife and told her that I had been attending meetings because I trully and honestly want to kick the habbit. I also showed some professionaly material to my wife and explained to her the most important thing in my eyes, "we are in this together". I told my wife that I am the man she married and I didn't choose to have this problem, but its my Tikkun in this world and "our" jobs are to conquer it together.
Once my wife realized that, then she opened up to me and we just started talking about getting though this problem "together" and not just "me" alone.
I wont lie, it wasn't easy telling my wife nor was it easy sharing my problem with total strangers in an SA meeting. But that was my part in convincing myself that I was so fed up with this problem, I'm willing to go "the extra mile", whatever it takes, to cure myself.
I wish you lots of hatzlocho and please keep me posted on your progress.
Remember, we can do this!
Joe