oyyyyyyyyyyyy! 

I have tried and read just about everything in order to stop M'ing on IP but I am so addicted that I believe I really need help. Up until now, I basically though that If I put my mind to it then I could contain my urges, but alas to no avail. I feel like a battle is going on inside me whereby every time I fight with some new weapon in order to take control, my urge not only wins but builds immunity to that specific weapon as well and thus makes it of no further use.

I can't do this alone anymore, because I am powerless. Yes, Me, Mr. "I have a solution for every thing" is is prisoner of his own mind. I need help ASAP.

I am exhausted at neglecting my life and acting like criminal in my own home by waiting for my wife and kids to go to sleep so I could sneak away to the computer.

As much as this is extremely embarrassing and I really truly believed with all my heart that I would never reach this level, I believe I need to talk to someone about my issue, or perhaps seek therapy of some sort.

I really have no idea where to start, and was wondering if anyone can recommend/suggest something in Jerusalem.

Thanks.

I know exactly what you are feeling. May we all find the proper derech

Welcome Joe!!

Wow! You sound like a great candidate for recovery.  You sound desperate and at the end of your rope. 

I tried to stop on my own for years.  Long story short, after over 20 years of addiction, getting discovered by my wife and STILL not being able to stop, going to a therapist and STILL not being able to stop, I went to my first SA  (Sexaholics Anonymous) meeting and........so far I haven't started again.

SA is without a doubt the most comfortable place in the world for me to be.  I feel safe, loved and have the opportunity to grow and heal.

You can also find a lot of support on this board.  Feel free to PM me for any specific SA info or my experiences with SA in the NYC area.

Hatzlacha

Wow, you live in Yerushalayim?!

You're so lucky!

There's a GYE kumzits scheduled for chol hamoed, and I wish I could come, but I'm from chutz la'aretz.

It may do you a lot of good.  consider it. contact eye-nonymous if interested.

hatzlocha.
Welcome to gye if i didn't welcome you yet.
It's hard to keep track of who i welcomed.

what are you doing in joe wrote on 21 Sep 2010 12:05:


do you have a filter on your computer?

Hey guys,

I hope you all had a great chag so far.

Thanks Frumfiend for the Support.

Jooboy thanks, yes I believe as well that I am an excellent candidate for recovery which is why I am seeking it. I am specifically looking for an SA support group in Jerusalem which I can start ASAP. Everyday now my YH somehow convinces me that I might as well get as much "quality" time in before I start SA.

Hashem's Soldier, no I don't have a filter yet. I am pretty computer savvy and feel that any filter could be manipulated by myself if need be. Nevertheless I hope to be convinced otherwise.

Hi World, thanks I love Yerushalayim. I don't know if I would feel comfortable at a kumzits. I think I would feel more  comfortable at a "formal" meeting of some sort, but I haven't ruled anything out just yet. I'll need to find out some more information about it first.

Anyways I'm mostly looking for an SA meeting in Jerusalem if anyone knows of any. Until then, have a wonderful chag everybody!

joe wrote on 26 Sep 2010 06:36:


Perhaps contact Yosef on this thread:

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2972.msg78957#msg78957

or PM him.

Hatzlacha!

Thanks Kutan, I Will!

I love making shiduchim!

hmmmm. in my mind, it was impossible to get past 5 hours from one fall to the next until i got a filter. so i think that the most key barrier is the filter. does any1 have ideas about a filter for a computer savvy  (i saw that word a couple times on this website and i finally just looked it up) 

Hi HS,

Thanks for the assistance. I had installed a webfilter in the past, but got around it pretty easily by learning the system and finding its weak spots. Besides I don't know how my wife would handle a filter for two reasons:

1) she is very much into celebrity online magazines and websites, which I don't think a filter would allow access too.
2) she hoped and wanted this addition to be behind us already and I don't want to drag it out in the open again.

I explain regarding #2 - In the past I opened to my wife about my addition and went through this self-cleansing period (the period lasted about 3 months - which sadly enough was a record for me back then). I mean she kinda of knew in the back of her head (ever since she caught me red-handed once, many years ago) what I was doing but never mentioned anything. So when I finally had enough of it I sat her down and tried to explain to her that I was addicted and this was "heroin fix" but I'm getting better now. Her initial reaction was something like "Wow, you're pretty perverted and sick" which stung like a full five finger slap right to your face.

In the end, she seemed to understand what I was going through, but I can tell that in the back of her head she still viewed me (rightfully so) as sick and perverted. So no, I don't want to go there anymore. I would tell the world then disappoint my wife once again.

Nevertheless I'm hoping to start an SA meeting soon, as I surely need it!

Kol hakovod for being so open. Honesty is the key to success here. Just dont become dependent on the group. We are not subsitute sponsers.

Hey Frumfield,

No I'm not looking for a substitute, I'm looking for support, which B"H I'm finding plenty of it here on the forums. But history has proven that it is not enough and I believe that I need to get my addiction out in the open and to talk about it.

I feel as if I'm powerless when trying to deal with this issue alone. It goes without saying that changing my behavioral and though patterns are paramount, but I just need someone to talk to when I'm feeling in despair and about to slip, someone to help me see clearly through the hellish "fog of war"

wow. im sorry about that. i can only imagine how painfull that is, (since im not married). what about the type of filter that reports anything you do to a friend? ive read a little about it on the forum,any questionable site gets reprted to your friend. do you think you can do that? and even if your wifes model websites get reported, thats ok. just tell your friend to be looking out for p*** websites. do you think that would be possible?

Im sorry i didnt mean to be so strong. I just meant the forum can only give  chizuk. There are people that call for help on the and when someone says something wrong or no one answers they feel let down by the forum and even justified in acting out.
Sorry if i was misunderstood.