outstanding!!!

thanks !!

Now I'll have to think of a way to write a nice note to my wife and mention all these things.

and why only say these things on your wedding day?

pick a cloudy Tuesday Morning (like today) and daven for these things

and practice it

Of all the gems from Kierkegaard,this one is the most awesome I read so far

Some of this sounds like our own Dov(atleast how I perceive it)

like Dov's neshamah was in Copenhagen in the early 1800's, teaching Kierkegaard these concepts

and like the lotto commercial

hey,you never know!!!


With respect to physical existence, one needs little,
and to the degree that one needs less, the more perfect one is. In
a human being’s relationship with God, however, it is inverted:
the more one needs God the more perfect he is. To need God is
nothing to be ashamed of but is perfection itself. It is the saddest
thing in the world if a human being goes through life without
discovering that he needs God!

For what is a human being after all? Is he just one more ornament
in the vast array of creation? And what is his power? What
is the highest he is able to will? Well, we do not want to defraud
the highest of its price, but we cannot conceal the fact that the
highest is realized only when a person is fully convinced that he
himself is capable of nothing, nothing at all. What rare dominion
– not rare in the sense that only one individual is born to be
king, since everyone is born to it! What rare wisdom – not rare
because it is offered to just a few who are educated, but because
it is offered to all, and accessible to all! True, if a person turns
outward, it will probably seem as if he were capable of accomplishing
something amazing, something that satisfies him,
something that draws enthusiastic admiration. From a human
perspective, humankind may well be the most glorious creation,
but all its glory is still only in the external and for the external.
Does not the eye aim its arrow outward every time
passion and desire tighten the bowstring? Does not the hand
grasp outward, is not his arm outstretched, and is not his ingenuity
all-conquering? Deception!

A human being is great and at his highest only when before
God he recognizes that he is nothing in himself. Consider
Moses or the so-called works of Moses. What is the deed of even
the greatest hero; what are demolishing mountains and filling
rivers compared with having darkness fall upon all Egypt! But
these were not really Moses’ works. Moses was capable of nothing
at all, for the work was the Lord’s. Do you see the difference?
Moses – he did not make decisions and formulate plans while
the council of the common sense listened attentively – Moses
was capable of nothing at all. If the people had said to him, “Go
to Pharaoh, because your word is powerful, your voice is triumphant,
your eloquence irresistible,” he would have answered,
“Oh, you fools! I am capable of nothing, not even of giving my
life for you if the Lord does not so will. I am capable only of
submitting everything to the Lord.” Or if the people who
thirsted in the desert had appealed to Moses, saying, “Take your
staff and order the rock to give water,” would not Moses have
answered, “What is my staff but a stick?”

A person who knows himself perceives that he, in and of
himself, is actually capable of nothing. The same applies to the
internal world. Are any of us capable of anything there, either?
If a capability is actually to be a capability, it must have some kind
of opposition. Without opposition, one is either all-powerful or
one’s capability is something entirely imaginary. In the internal
world of spirit, opposition can come only from within. In this
way, we struggle with ourselves. If a person does not discover
this conflict, his understanding is faulty and consequently his
life is imperfect; but if he does discover it, he will understand
that he himself is capable of nothing at all.

Such self-knowledge we are referring to is really not complicated.
But is one not able, then, to overcome oneself by oneself?

Coming
oneself by oneself, we really mean something external,
so that the struggle is unequal. Take, for example, someone who
has been tempted by worldly prestige but who conquers himself
so that he no longer reaches out for it. If he is to guard his soul
against a new vanity, he will have to admit that he is not really
able to overcome himself. He understands that with will power
alone he creates in his innermost being temptations of glory,
fear, despondency, of pride and defiance, and sensuality greater
than those he meets in the external world. For this reason he
struggles with himself. Victory proves nothing with regard to
this greater temptation. If he is victorious in facing the temptation
with which the surrounding world confronts him, this
does not prove that he would be victorious if the temptation
were as terrible as he is able to imagine it. He knows deep
within himself that he is capable of nothing at all.

In one sense, to need God and to know that this is a human
being’s highest perfection, makes life more difficult. However,
insofar as a person does not know himself, he does not actually
become conscious in the deeper sense that God is. The person
who realizes that he is capable of nothing cannot undertake the
slightest thing without God’s help, without becoming conscious
that God is. We sometimes speak of learning to know God from
the events of past history. We open up the chronicles and read
and read. Well, that may be fine, but how much time it takes,
and how dubious the outcome frequently is! But someone who
is conscious that he is capable of nothing has every day and every
moment the precious opportunity to experience that God
lives. If he does not experience it often enough, he knows very
well why that is. It is because his understanding is faulty and he
believes that he himself is, after all, capable of something.


This does not mean that a person’s life becomes easy simply
because he learns to know God in this way. On the contrary, it
can become that much more difficult. But in this difficulty his
life acquires a deeper meaning. Should it mean nothing to him
that he continually keeps his eyes on God, knowing that he
himself is capable of nothing at all, yet with the help of God he
is indeed capable? Should it mean nothing to him that he is
learning to die to the world, to esteem less and less the things
that fade away? Finally, should it not have meaning for him that
he most vividly and confidently understands that God is love,
that God’s goodness passes all understanding?

We are not saying that to need God is to sink into a dreaming
admiration and some visionary contemplation. No. God does
not let himself be taken in vain in this way. Just as knowing ourselves
in our own nothingness is the condition for knowing
God, so knowing God is the condition for the sanctification of a
human being by God’s assistance and according to his intention.
Wherever God is, there he is always creating. He does not
want a person to be spiritually soft and to bathe in the contemplation
of his glory. He wants to create a new human being. To
need God is to become new. And to know God is the crucial
thing. Without this knowledge a human being becomes nothing.
Without this knowledge, he is scarcely able to grasp that he
himself is nothing at all, and even less that to need God is his
highest perfection.

This is one of his quotes that I always try to remember:


The inward person looks not upon the gifts but upon the Giver.

He knows that God not only gives gifts, but gives Himself with

the gifts.

And that alone is what is important

Never quit


Poem by Jason Westlake


Go Back

Anger and helplessness
The joy of life escapes me
Bitterness and indifference
My bed won’t let me rise
Frustration and contempt
Nothing I do matters
Emptiness and disdain
I have no purpose in life
Rage and powerlessness
I am forever bound in these chains
How did I get here?
How can I get out?
I used to believe
I used to dream
Until life’s punches came
Too difficult to overcome
I, not able to withstand
Surrendered in defeat
The pain was too great
I hope to feel solace now
In doing nothing at all
But my gifts and my life’s mission
Keep calling me back
Creating tension in my soul
For how could I be asked
To do the impossible?
To do what I wasn’t
Able to do in the past?
How I tried and I tried
I worked and I worked
And when I had failed
I kept coming back for more
Beaten down again and again
I couldn’t be defeated
As the years passed by
I knew my victory would come
But that day never arrived
No matter how I tried
Thousands of hours
And still no result
So I resigned myself
To do nothing instead
But quickly found my pain
Was even greater to bear
Now, I’m being called once again
To get back on that horse
The last place on earth
I would desire to go
My soul rips in two
As I mount that horse anew
I take a few more steps
And I am shocked to find
My success lay just a few feet beyond
Where I was willing to go
That horrible place where
I had decided to quit

Accepting a new way
by Dave Harm

The first promise of Adult Children of Alcoholics says, "We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



year after year
living a life of fear
haunted by my past
yet... hoping it would last

being a victim was a life for me
poor poor Dave... I wanted the world to see
it was your fault... I turned out this way
ME - ME - ME... is all I'd ever say

I'm grateful that ME died
finally... I found some life inside
it happened when I let one person in
I learned being vulnerable wasn't a sin

a new journey has begun
and I look forward to the rising sun
my Higher Power helped me see
it was OK... to be open and free

drama... no longer has a home
and I know I'm not alone
thank you my best friend
my trust and love to you I send

Acknowledging your pain
by Dave Harm

The ninth step of AA states - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



the day finally came
and courage was found
but for the first time...
not in a bottle
the strength came
from a Higher Power
who stood by my side

I knew you had no reason
to believe my words...
or trust those words as truth
but something happened
you accepted my apology
your disgust disappeared
and support was offered

it all started when I said
"I'm an alcoholic"
every step brought new strength
and a revelation took place
the only chance... for a second chance
would only come about
when the past was acknowledged

I put my trust in Him
and He's guided me well
I felt His presence... in people
as I acknowledged my wrongdoings
and for the first time
the past... didn't hold shame
but rather hopes and dreams

The Twelve Steps
by Dave Harm



The 12 Steps of Alcoholic Anonymous have been adapted for many self-help groups and have helped save the lives of countless people.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


they told me
"do the steps, all 12 of them
than... you'll find your Friend"
they went on to say
"believe me it will get
a little better... day by day"

Step One... there was nothing I could do
quite depressed... feeling blue
Step Two... I sought a new belief
slowly... it provided some relief
Step Three... answers I began to find
it brought about some peace of mind
Step Four... I looked deep inside
no longer did I want to run or hide
Step Five... I put my trust in Him
and told another all my sins
Step Six... I saw all the defects based in shame
I'd throw away all those old games
Step Seven... I found a gift in humility
a new world I'd see
Step Eight... a list was made when I searched my soul
years of abuse had took its toll
Step Nine... I began making amends
apologies was the only message I'd send
Step Ten... the truth was easy to see
an inventory would help keep me free
Step Eleven... my new Friendship was strong
with prayer and meditation days weren't so long
Step Twelve... I couldn't wait to share
and let others know we care

they spoke the truth
life did get better
I found peace within
which made the world
more peaceful and serene

article by  r pinchas stolper


LOVE: INFATUATION AND ROMANCE?
Modern novels, movies, magazines, and television programs which fantasize and glorify the notion of "romantic love" are describing a type of ideal relationship that may exist in literary form or in the poetic imagination, but which bears very little resemblance to what love is all about in the everyday world of real life. People who read love stories or watch television programs should realize that while courtship, chivalry, romance and passion do play their separate and respective roles in the dramatic awakening and eventual attainment of satisfaction in love, these are all elements in a process, but they do not by any means add up to the whole of the love experience.

Nor is romantic love an end in itself, so that it cannot and should not be accepted in defense of any type of behavior in any male-female relationship which is less than a properly controlled one. Such explanations as "We couldn't help ourselves, we just fell in love," or "we didn't realize what was happening" are excuses, not reasons, because people usually do realize very well indeed, what is happening; they all too often try to convince themselves that certain forms of intimacy are justified because the two individuals concerned happen to be truly in love. To fool oneself through this tactic is to lose control over oneself.

Romantic love is not always related to real love, especially when it ignores the true personalities and mutual interest of those involved. To be ruled by one's emotions and feelings, uncontrolled and undirected by logic, values and clear thinking, with no clear sense of goals and responsibility, is to ignore the only factors which can establish a firm foundation for a permanent and mature life-long relationship.

The theme repeated everywhere in novels and movies is that "I am in love and my love is beyond my control"; "I fell in love"; it was as though someone pushed me off a cliff and it was all accidental and unintentional. The Jewish approach warns us not to "love in spite of yourself", but to love "because of yourself." Find out what you're headed for. Enter into the love relationship with your eyes open, not with your eyes closed. Don't accept blind dates, unless you know who the potential partner is.

If you find that you are "falling," realize while your eyes are still open, while you can still think clearly and objectively, who this person is for whom you are falling. By whom, I refer to background, commitment, education, character, personality, family, friends, values, concern for others, goals and ideals ― the things that really count ― not the external, superficial things, some of which may be "put on."

Fall in love with the real person inside the skin. Fall in love deliberately, with control, not on the rebound, or because you're simply "in love with love". Fall in love only after you have come to know yourself, not because you feel insecure and think "no one loves me", and not because you don't get along with your parents and are anxious to leave home. Don't let your craving for acceptance or love lead you to throw yourself at the first person who gives you a tumble or is "pliable" in physical conduct.

All this is a matter of decency, honesty and fairness to yourself, to the other person involved, and to your family and Jewish tradition. It is a pre-condition of authentic and lasting love. Let the woman use her "feminine charm"; it's her legitimate prerogative, a healthy manifestation of her femininity. It's quite one thing to be charmed by it, but don't be taken in don't let it blind you; don't fall for it. If you take the romantic love angle too seriously, you will lose your proper place in the marital relationship and, with it, lose your dignity and your role as master of your destiny. Young men, too, often employ a trickery more harmful and more dangerous than that employed by women. There is no ultimate danger if a girl employs her femininity to charm a young man into turning a fleeting interest into a more serious one. Young men, however, sometimes deceive a young woman into thinking that they are in love, while all they want is a physical relationship. Intimacy without true love, commitment and permanence is a price too high to pay.



FRIENDSHIP BEFORE MARRIAGE

Why does Jewish Tradition demand that the relationship between men and women before marriage stop at the point of physical contact? And why is such restraint, forbidding even mere "touching" (or negiah in Hebrew), so crucial a factor in the successful observance of those laws that define the Jewish standards of family loyalty and interpersonal relationships?

Jewish law states that once a young woman begins menstruating, she assumes the status of nidah, and remains, from that point on, "off limits", in regard to physical contact with men, until the day of her marriage. Just prior to her marriage ceremony she removes the nidah status, in accordance with Jewish law, by immersing herself in the waters of a mikveh (a body of water used only for spiritual sanctification), and may then be approached by her husband. As a married woman she becomes nidah once again with each onset of a menstrual period, and marital relations must then be suspended until she immerses herself, once more, in a mikveh, at least one week after the completion of each menstrual period.

It will be acknowledged, even by those unaware of this law, that the sense of touch in male-female relationships often constitutes a type of borderline where simple association begins to pass from the area of friendship into the area of intimacy. In any male-female relationship, it is easier to maintain self control up to the point of physical contact because, from the moment of contact on, control becomes much more difficult. Also, once the principle of 'no contact' has been violated, there are often no other barriers effective enough in helping two people to restrain themselves from further kinds of involvement that could lead naturally to a intimacy.

A physical relationship is an essential element in the binding together of two people in marriage. Before marriage, however, physical contact has the effect of forging bonds without sincere commitment. [Therefore, objectivity is distorted, and the essential relationship becomes confused... are we really headed towards commitment? Are his words, "I care only for what's best for you" grounded?] Any sort of physical contact or intimacy, as it brings people closer together, tends to bind ― a kind of glue as it were ― but as glue should be used to bind together only when a permanent bond is decided upon, physical contact should begin only after the marriage itself.

Some people will claim, with reasonable justification, that some of the social practices which Jewish law prohibits, such as hand holding, social dancing, and good-night kissing, are simply matters of form or social grace, which people perform without attaching to them any great significance. It is precisely this point that we are attempting to make. As Jews, we take relationships between people much more seriously than does "society". Jewish society cannot tolerate a situation where a young woman, or a young man lets her or himself be used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Nor can we accept, for all the casualness of society, that kissing, or any form of expressing affection, can ever be regarded lightheartedly or as a game or social grace.

Most people who have dated know that even a casual good-night kiss is just a beginning. The nature of kissing and touching is such that it calls for more and more… once you begin, it is hard to stop. If each date begins with the understanding that before it ends there must be some kind of physical contact, then a high point of the date is the physical expression, and not a more intellectual or conversational type of exchange, or the excitement of sharing each other's company.

If dating is limited to conversation, then each successive date can bring new and more stimulating conversation, and a greater interplay of personality. But if dating implies even the most casual physical contact, it is natural that on each date you will want to have more; each partner will feel impelled to give a little more, to let down a few more barriers, until there is little left to surrender. The result is a transaction in which the young woman is selling herself cheaply, and all too often, suffers a loss of self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem, and in many instances the breaking of the relationship.



WHAT IS TRULY BEAUTIFUL?

In order to master the fire of attraction rather than be consumed by it, Judaism teaches the virtue and value of tsnius or modesty. The idea of tsnius differs fundamentally from the non-Jewish concept of chastity, which bears the connotation of prudishness and ignorance, arising from an underlying Puritanical-Christian notion of the human body as evil and "flesh as sinful."

The Torah concept of tsnius bears connotations of restraint, privacy, good taste and dignity, which arise from the underlying acceptance of the human body as a vessel of man's sacred soul. The body should always be properly and tastefully covered, in order to preserve a sense of dignity, worth and self-respect, rather than openly flaunted and thus debased. To the Jew, tsnius is a major element of true beauty. True beauty lies not in what we reveal but in that which we conceal. Only a body properly clothed, not openly flaunted, is a fitting vessel for containing the true human beauty which lies beneath the surface of the physical self.

True feminine beauty has little in common with the artificial image of beauty projected by American cosmetic firms, television screens and advertising industries. The notion that true beauty, allure or happiness is determined by the extent to which a girl approaches the ideal in a physical sense is so much deceptive nonsense. The ideal is an arbitrary and often cruel standard that causes much needless unhappiness for those who take it too seriously, and as a result become slaves to a stereotyped notion of beauty.

Real feminine beauty is a highly subjective, personal matter. It relates to the totality of the image and presence of an individual's personality. It is much more a reflection of poise, bearing, sensitivity, charm and values than of any specific physical feature.

Young women, no matter how physically attractive, remain unconvinced inwardly of their own real beauty until they begin to love and be loved. Many obviously beautiful girls have sincerely protested, "But I'm not pretty." This suggests two possible insights: first, that true beauty exists "in the eyes of the beholder" ― that beauty is largely a subjective highly personal phenomenon that gains true meaning in the context of marriage; second, that a truly beautiful person is one who loves and gives to another.

Both the conviction of beauty and mature love develop fully, deepen and are nurtured only in the context of married life. Many women feel "beautiful" only after they have been so convinced by the devotion, actions and attitudes of their loving husbands. This will explain why women who do not fit the stereotype, and are not beautiful by Madison Avenue criteria, are loved, admired and regarded as being highly attractive and desirable by their husbands. In simple terms, a woman's inner feeling of desirability and beauty may be an outgrowth and reflection of her husband's love. By the same token, a devoted wife is by far a more satisfying manifestation of a man's masculinity than any number of casual conquests of which he may be able to boast.

In a sustained marital relationship, the external physical criteria of attractiveness are harmonized with the primary personality factors. In marriage, one soon discovers that deeds and attitudes are far more important than artificial standards of mere physical beauty. A wife's priorities and problems must become the husband's priorities and problems ― and vice versa. There must be mutual dedication to common goals and to each other's well being. Lacking these ingredients, all the physical attractions in the world will not sustain a relationship, or provide long run happiness for either party.

vital aish article

yechida needs alot of work in all the areas listed below

Small marriage tips that make a huge difference.

by Laya Saul  Change one small thing for the good in your marriage and you’ll change the entire course of the relationship. Here are some simple tips you can use starting right now.

1.Absolutely no sarcasm. Ever. The word “sarcastic” comes from Greek and means “to tear flesh.” Don’t do it.
2.Silence is powerful. It can either hurt or it can heal depending on how you use it.
◦If your spouse says something that hurts you, “zip-the-lip” and do not reply in kind. You can gently walk away if it doesn’t stop. Do not let anger escalate, either one of you can make this change.
◦Do not use silence as a punishment or as a weapon.
◦Silence used positively is a loving intention to listen. Just listen when your spouse has something to say and wants to be heard.
3.Don't speak from anger. Recognize that anger comes from hurt. If someone is in pain, what that soul really needs is kindness and understanding. If you are the angry one, let go the anger and ask for help and understanding.
4.Forgive mistakes. Being human means you will fall on your face -- as a friend, child, parent, spouse, or any other role you’ll take on in life. The key to success in anything we do is standing up one more time than we fall. Forgive your own mistakes and imperfections, and your spouse’s too.
5.Communicate to build. If something hurts your feelings, you can say, “That hurt.” If your partner tells you that you said something that hurt, stop and say what you need to say so that it does not feel like an attack. We send out daggers when we feel like we need to defend. We are not making war; we are making peace in the home. Take baby steps!
6.Ask and listen. Ask what your spouse needs to feel loved. Listen to the answer. Repeat it back to make sure you understand. Now you have powerful information to nourish your marriage.
7.Don’t do defensive. So often we feel accused, blamed, and guilty, and then turn it around by blaming and accusing. When your spouse is upset about something, keep your mind open to finding a win/win solution. If one of you has to be “right” and the other is “wrong,” you both lose. The goal is to for both of you to feel loved and valued.
8.Look for solutions, not problems. If you were 100% responsible for creating this relationship, what would you do differently? (How would you give, receive, ask, listen, share, serve, or communicate?)
9.“The grass is greenest where you water it.” Compliment, spend time together, give gifts, do nice things for each other, be generous with affection, and lavish appreciation. Cut each other slack when needed -- apply forgiveness liberally. Stay open to humor.
10.Pray. Prayer opens the channels of the Creator’s power and blessing. Nothing is too big, and nothing is too small or insignificant to talk about with God. In your own words, in any language, from the heart. Here are the key elements of prayer:
◦Praise—Recognize Who you are speaking with
◦Ask—Ask for what you want, you can’t bother the Creator of the World!
◦Thank—Expressi ng gratitude opens you up to receive more
You build a house one brick at a time. You build a marriage, one kind word, one kind deed, one moment at a time, and then another and another. Consistently. Over time. Your marriage is worth every drop of love and effort you put into it.

Read it cuz you posted it. Thanks again, Yechida!

A person may not like or feel comfortable in the position or in the family or the nisyonos that Hashem put him in

This story reminds us that Hashem has a specific and detailed plan for us-and that He loves each one of us -even if we cannot always understand the nature of the plan- or the extent of His love


Medical Corps



The shoemaker and his wife had prayed every day, begging the Al-mighty to grant them a child. Alas, the answer had consistently been "No." But their faith was as strong as their desire, and they decided to go to the renowned tzadik, Reb Yisrael, the Maggid of Koznitz to ask for his blessing.

When they arrived at his court and were admitted into his room they told their story and received the Rebbe's assurance that they would be blessed with a child. True to his word, the woman gave birth to a baby boy, but soon after his birth, the baby became seriously ill.

The parents were sick with worry and the father went back to Koznitz to ask for a blessing for the baby's recovery. The Rebbe assured him that G-d would send a complete recovery. But instead of recovering, the baby went from bad to worse.

The mother sat by his cradle day and night, her lips incessantly reciting the words of the Psalms. One morning, totally exhausted, she involuntarily dozed off. When she awoke, she was startled to see a soldier standing over the baby's cradle holding a spoon and a bowl and gently spooning something into the baby's mouth. She screamed in fright and the soldier quickly disappeared.

From that moment on the baby began improving by the hour, until he was soon completely well. The parents were overjoyed, but at the same time, they were fearful that perhaps the soldier had been some evil spirit or sorcerer. They again traveled to Koznitz to relate the strange occurrence to the Rebbe.

The Maggid reassured them that they had no need to fear. Then, as soon as the couple left, the Rebbe summoned his attendant. "Go to the cemetery and knock with this cane of mine on the grave of soldier so-and-so. Announce that I request him to come to me." The attendant did as he was told, and the soldier soon appeared before the Maggid.

The Maggid asked him, "Who appointed you to be a children's doctor?"

The soldier replied. "When I was a young child I was snatched and forced to go into military service for thirty years. I was torn from my parents and my home, and as the years passed I forgot all about being Jewish and I lived exactly like my gentile comrades. Only my identity papers proved my Jewishness, and I thought no more about it.

"One day as I was strolling in the countryside with my comrades, we came upon an elderly Jew. A few of my fellows had the idea of robbing him, and they took his 75 rubles. Then, fearing discovery, they beat him, bound him and hanged him from a tree, and left him for dead.

"That was too much for me. My long-dormant Jewish spark flared in my heart, and I quickly slipped away from my unit and stealthily returned to the spot. There I found him mercifully still breathing, so I cut him down with my pocket-knife and sent him on his way. I even gave him 75 rubles from my own pocket.

"After I died, I found myself facing the Heavenly Court. They said they couldn't send me straight to the Garden of Eden, because I'd been sinning all my life. But they couldn't send me to the other place, either, because I had saved one man's life, and whoever saves the life of one Jew is given credit for having saved the whole world – and especially since I'd actually given my life for that mitzvah. So, they decided to allow me to function as a children's doctor, and gave me permission to save the lives of little children whenever the situation is desperate. And that is how I came to heal this little baby."

When he had ended his story the Maggid said to him, "You may now return to the Garden of Eden, for you have earned your full reward." With that the soldier saluted and disappeared, and his soul rose to the highest level of Paradise.

This story was often told by the Chasidic rebbe R. Yechiel Meir of Gostynin, who used to add: "We may be expert in assessing the value of gold and silver and gems – but to appreciate the true worth of a Jew is way, way beyond us."

OUTSTANDING !!!

thanks

I began to write poems in January and this one here is # 55 that I wrote a few nights ago. As we know from seforim that Shmiras Habris is connected with Shmiras Haddibur.And I have thought about the connection between the two, and the underestimation people have of the power of words. I remember Rav Pam ztl talk about how careful one must be in how one speaks to another Yid especially to ones  own wife. He told us and I quote “You must remember, people are very sensitive” and this he felt is true even if outwardly it may appear so.


So I wrote this to remind me of the importance of learning how to speak and to improve in this area



Poem # 55

I mourn words wasted,
Extraneous, empty vessels.
that came  forth thoughtlessly,
going nowhere, wandering,
lost,
for it was born lost,
conceived in a void

Worse than those empty, lost,
Children of nothingness,
are words that hurt,
of damage ,of destruction,
causing devastating injury,
killing, maiming, raping,
hellish forms of inflicted torture,
emotional wounds,
that can never be completely,
coping only,
after a long and painful rehab,
a therapy of hard work,
major couragr,
that many,after being wounded deeply,
do not have

Contrast this holocaust,
To a world of beauty,
Created by words of healing and love,
Of building, of uniting,
Bonding, helping, building,
Planting seeds,
that will be seen soon,
as the most beautiful garden,
created by
words of compassion,
coming from a purity,
of mind and heart.

Thinking of all this,
I must train myself,
When angry, anxious,
Frustrated, hurt, betrayed,
Rejected, humiliated, lonely,
Despite the hellish pain
Of it all,
To never ever
During those painful times,
Open my mouth to inflict,
Upon those I love,
Words that can damage,
breaching a special bond,
hurt a precious soul,
in a way that will last,
upon those I love,
to have to live
with the damage,
upon a beloved soul,
that really loves me,
who looks at me,
tears right below the surface,
looking with eyes both beautiful and soft,
love and hurt combined,
overwhelming me,
with a sense of shame,
how could I hurt
a dear neshamah that loves me?

Yearning,
Deep inside,
even in pain,
to speak words that heal,
but if I do not yet
have the strength and courage,
to bring forth healing speech,
the least I can do,
though not enough at all,
is to honor the soul I love,
with my silence,
born not in sullenness,
but in serenity,
mentally fighting,
to rein in,
the madness,
of the hurt within me,
not to let myself utter a word,
until the storm passes,
with the healing passage
of time,
cautiously,
emerging out of the shell,
and allow the seeds,
of loving words,
to be planted again,
into the gentle soul,
that I love.   

precious brothers,special sisters

Have a wonderful Shabbos


What If... (A Question) 
Ron Atchison 

What if... a long, long time ago... somebody told you that you would one day live on a beautiful planet, surrounded by stars and mountains and oceans and where almost anything was possible...

What if they told you that you'd have the ability to laugh and sing and love... and that you'd also be met by many interesting, sometimes painful challenges, all of them designed to teach you important lessons you will need for future journeys.

What if somebody told you this hundreds of years ago - before you were even born?

Would you have believed them?