yechida wrote on 23 Jul 2009 13:26:


You mamesh heal my soul yechida....! thank you!

YECHIDA!!!
thank you.
scared if I say more, I'll ruin it.
kutan

dear chl

I am telling you things that if I would have been told by the right people and the right time it would have saved me alot of suffering so I'm telling you now.

this is root of most of these issues.the belief that these things can never be corrected.that there is no way out.that Hashem is telling you that your'e done and finished and it's over.no matter what you do.

this ,chl,is the baloney you have to uproot from your system.once you do this,things get easier.you have a path.there is a light at the end of the tunnel.Hashem is telling you to go there and you will get there. 

bs"d

Amen, ken yehi ratzon!!!

thanks for writing back!

Gut Shabbes!

yechida wrote on 24 Jul 2009 13:09:


Hi Yechida,

a gut voch (or gut Shabbes depending where you are  )!

I just wanted you to know that your message was pretty much the last thing i saw before i turned of the computer before Shabbes.

And the line i quoted above was with me and saved me throughout Shabbes. I had b"H no problems with SA, but overall feelings of being burnt-out and tired. And all the time i kept on reminding myself: this is just the baloney of the Y"h, don't give in!

You really helped me with that (also because it's fun to look at it as "baloney")  :D

thank  you!

Gut voch chl

normally I don't get in till Monday,but today was an exception.another thing that helps is to daven for others.I davened very often to Hashem saying that if He pulls me out of this I will with Your help aide others and help them out.because chl,within you is the ability to to  help others with these very problems that you have now.Because you will have a sensitivity to people suffering from this ,due to the fact that you went through this yourself.

So as you struggle,you have a side project.a secret mission.what can I take from my experience so that I can help out others in the future with-when I get better.this itself will motivate you because you have this gift in you that you can bring out.

And you will heal,you will get better.and then you will take your experience to give chizzuk to other precious Yidin that are trapped in darkness.to bring them out into light.

bs"d

Thank you yechida for your kind ans wise words. I hope HaShem puts them in my heart and won't let me forget about them...

Dear friends,

In order for you to truely be healed,you must believe in the truth,the nekudah,the concept,that creates the healing.So my friends this thing here is a concept that I understood in my brain for many years.But I did not believe it in my heart,and that is why I couldn't be helped.I knew this concept in my brain but I couldn't or wouldn't internalize it.

This is the greatest weapon,the atomic bomb,that the yetzer horah has.You have the truth in your brain,and the yetzer harah blocks it from going into your heart.He builds a wall,a very thick wall,sound proof,and says I cannot let this Yid to bring this concept from the brain into the neshomah.Because if it goes in,I lose,and this Yid is healed.

So you really need to read this each day,read it,read it,even if you don't believe it,read it.Why?because you must smash this sound-proof wall.so that this concept in your brain can enter your neshomah.And when it does-you hear my friends?keep at it,keep at it,and it will happen,and this thick wall will be peirced,then you will fell that ton of bricks that was weighing down on you all these hard,long, years fall off of you and you will begin to heal.

The concept is in the Tanya,Igeres Hatshuvah,Perek 11.and it is absolute truth.you will recognize this.

He says that of course people understand that tshuva requires a certain degree of sadness and regret.However,what many people don't know,or may not understand,is that tshuva also requires a great deal of joy and happiness.The Zohar put it something like this.the heart having sadness on one side and happiness on the other.

The sadness part I know that all my dear friends know of very well and very deeply.you know too much of this sadness.Now it's finally time to focus on the second aspect of tshuvah,the unknown part,the part that the YH wants to hide from you at all cost.and that is the happy part of teshuva.the part that fills you with joy.

And that is Emunah and Bitachon.To be certain,absolutely certain,no doubt in your mind whatsoever,that Hashem is Kind,full of Chesed,and He wants to bestow chesed upon us.especially in this teshuva process.That Hashem is Gracious,Hashem is Merciful,Hashem has an abundance,an endless abundance of Forgiveness.

There is nothing stronger than the Desire of Hashem to forgive you.

He is awaiting this with great anticipation.And when you ask Him with great sincerity to forgive you,Hashem immediately and completely forgives you.

Do you understand this my friends?You could be involved in very ugly and harmful things for years and years and years and then you decide this is it,you turn to Hashem and with a full heart you talk to Him.you tell him I don't want this,I don't need this,I want to be good and clean and I will not do this again,then He immediately and completely forgives you.

And even if after the tshuva you slip again ,the previous teshuva isn't thrown in the garbage because of this.The previous teshuva is still there.It's just that know you have to pick yourself up again,ask Hashem to forgive you and with a full heart, you tell him I never want to do this again,and he forgives you again.

He forgives you immediately and completely,with His full Heart,and His full Heart is infinite.

I will elaborate more soon.for now know this concept very well.

People make a mistake and believe Tshuva must be harsh.

My friends,many of you are too harsh with yourselves,to unforgiving for what you have done in the past.

Be gentle with youselves.because Hashem wants to be gentle with you.He doesn't want you to make yourself crazy with guilt.He just wants you to be the best you can be.and He wants you to be happy in the process.

And you can do that with calmness,happiness,and joy.

we just were never taught this before.


 

   

This last post is even greater then the "letter post"

You are like the neviiem of old calling out to return with such awesome love for a fellow Jew permeating each word od yours.

I can kiss you for your beautiful holy words;)

Don't stop!!
Noorah

bs"d

this post really helped me to daven better!

thanks Yechida, again, for your beautiful words.

I must continue on this same yesod,because it's too important.people have been shattered by thinking that this yesod is false.we do not believe in Hashem's Happiness in forgiving us.Mr YH makes us percieve that the King of Kings,our Merciful Father,is spitting us in the face,and that He is rejecting us, and this causes us to be in such a terrible state of despair.

We say every day "Chanun Hamarbeh Lisloach",(Hashem ,the Gracious One who abundantly forgives)This is a bracha we say with Hashem's Holy Name.If there would be doubt as to the truth of this forgiveness,then we wouldn't be allowed to say this bracha.It would be a bracha l'vatalah-a bracha said in vain which is a great sin.Therefore when in Shemonah Esrai you ask "selach lonu",please forgive us,with full sincerity,and then you thank Hashem "Chanun Hamarbe Lisloach",it is not a bracha said in vain.It cannot be.He forgives you immediately and completely.So much so that Moshiach would already be there if not for the backsliding into sin.

Then the Baal Hatanya continues.Even a human being,a Yid is required to forgive immediately,and not be cruel and unforgiving.Dovid Hamelech banned the Givonim from being part of Kllal Yisroel becaused they refused to forgive Shaul's family,and with that showed a cruelty in their nature.So if even a human being must forgive completely.How much more so does Hashem,the Infinite One,forgives us with His Full Heart.

This next point also gives tremendous chizzuk.If a person wronged you again & again & again,you will have trouble forgiving him.he has hurt you too much.

With Hashem it doesn't work this.first time,second time,third time,fourth time,hundredth time,is all the same.His Forgiveness,His Open Heart is Infinite.He forgives you again and again.3 times a day(more if you ask Him)every day.

You mean it for real ,He forgives you!!!!!He has such a love for you when you talk to him and ask His forgiveness!!!!!!

Mr YH doesn't like when you talk to Hashem.It makes him nervous and edgy.And when a Yid finally talks to Hashem Mr YH convinces you that He put on His Great "Ear Plugs" and tunes you out,that Hashem had enough of you,you nut job,you pervert,you scum with a twisted brain,you piece of trash,you filthy animal on two legs,you empty soul,you weak coward,you nobody,your nothing at all,no need for you,your'e a disgusting disease,a pathetic dog.Hashem told me it's over,that He doesn't want to deal with you anymore.

This is the falshood that you need to smash with all your might.

Hashem forgives,He wants to,He looks forward to this,He is thrilled when you ask Him to forgive you.

And once you know this in your brain,you must smash that Wall that separates your brain from your neshomah,as a Mr Reagen once said "Tear that Wall down!!!!",and this concept finally enters your heart,enters your neshomah,and you believe it now in truth.and you realize that Hashem forgave you fully,and that heavy burden that was so so long carried in your heart is lifted and gone.

I cry sometimes because I see here some of my brothers and sisters carrying this heavy burden,it's been there for a very very long time,and you must learn now that it's Ok-you don't need to carry it anymore,this terrible burden of guilt and despair.guilt of what you did ten years ago,ten months ago,ten weeks ago,and even yesterday.Did you ask Hashem to forgive you?Yes.Did you mean it with your full heart?Yes.Did you mean it when you said you never want to see harmful destructive things again?Yes.--Yes.Yes.Yes.So He forgave you.Period.End of Story.It's a Done Deal.Put it Behind you.

This forgiveness should fill you with happiness and joy..This part of tshuva,the happy part,is not known,is kept secret by Mr.YH,but now we know it,and we believe it.

These Ear Plugs that you thought Hashem had in His "Ears"-they never existed.



 

Yechida,

That was truly wonderful to read.

You know, in the olden days there were neviim. They would say the d'var Hashem. R' Brevda often says that the nisayon then was whether or not to go to the novi (or to the other side). But once there, his words, coming from Hashem, were so powerful that they transformed the listener. Automatically.
Thats how I feel when I read your posts and especially this last one. The words just go into my soul. Others seem to have the same feeling, reading their responses.

You must be very humble and genuine to be able to do this.

Bli neder, I'm printing this one out once I get to work, and keeping it with me.

kutan

It  is so amazing yechida. I wish I can believe it in my heart. My problem is that it seems to contradict what I read in Sharei Teshuva (Rabeinu Yonah), he explains the teshuvah process  much harsher and if I remember correctly he said that if you do the aveira again, it's as if you didn't do tsuvah on it.

TrYiNg wrote on 29 Jul 2009 02:55:


Rav Pam spoke about this in public.
He would say that R' Yona wrote another work (I think Yesod Hatshuva), where he goes with Yechida's mehalech.

He would say (with his warm smile and sparkling, holy eyes) that the Yesod Hatshuva is for our generation.

Its not a 'stira'. There are various hanhagos, and all are true in shamayim at a certain high level, but in this world one comes to play only, at any given time, depending on the dor. Even in the physical world there are numerous open examples of hishtanus hateviim throughout the generations (there is even a whole sefer on the subject... hishtanut hateviim b'halacha... an amazing work) and the same is true with ruchnius.

Our gen. is like the disabled child ch'v. did you ever see good parents with a disabled child? the love and patience that they have for him is phenomenal.

And your asking based on the hanhaga that they have with their talented gifted confident capable child.

Its just not applicable.

kutan

bs"d

Yechida,

this was truly beautiful... it is balm on my wounds.

Trying, i can only repeat what kutan said. There are many seforim (including the Reshis Chochma) who say that for their generations already (The R.H. lived around the time of the Arizal hakadosh! You can imagine their levels compared to ours!) these "harsh" forms of repentance do not apply anymore. Also many chassidishe sforim (like the Tanya quoted by Yechida) found ways of repentance more suited for their times then those of previous generations.

I once asked one of the big Ovdey HaShem in Meah Shearim: "how does one do tshuva?"

He said, "oh that's very simple: zug: Tatte ich hob charote (and he lightly hit his chest twice with his fist), un freylach weiter geddavent un weiter gelernt!"

"say: Tatte, i regret, and then go back to pray with joy and learn with joy".

Don't dwell on the sin/fall etc...