I saw this poem.

I do not know who wrote it

relating to the previous post

You never know when you're living in the Moment.

Maybe you were busy taking photos to remember the occasion.
Or you forgot to look as you were rushing by.
Or perhaps complaining too much to appreciate the blessing of just 'being'.

Being yourself.
Being with someone.
Being grateful.
Being forgiving.
Being less hard on yourself.
Being real.

The Moment passes
You cannot get it back
And so are the next Moments -
One after another.
Until you awake as if from a dream
And realise you are living in the Moment

here is one more

Life by Jessica Workman

  Life is a challenge - meet it
Life is a gift - accept it
Life is a sorrow - over come it
Life is a tregedy - face it
Life is a mystery - unfold it - unsolve it
Life is a opportunity - take it
Life is a promise - complete it
Life is a struggle - fight it
Life is a goal - achieve it
Life is love - love it
Life can be adventures - enjoy it
Life is a duty - perform it
Life is a game - out smart it
Life is a beauty - praise it
Life is life - live it - make of something good of it

Luv them Expresses just what I think. Will print it out to show to others. YOur zchus R' yechida.

Dear Brothers and Sisters

Here is thought on Parshas Beraishis


The key to Torah is Berashis


The key to Life is Beraishis.


Because we always have to  begin Anew.
Hashem tells us do not think that I created your world and then left it
I am constantly and continuously creating the world,
Every single second,
Because if I don’t, everything that exists will not be
As if it never was.

The Torah ends with “Leynai Kol Yisroel”
Rashi says that this refers to the Luchos that were broken
The Torah ends with us being broken by the broken Luchos
It end in failure
Moshe dead
Luchos Shattered
What now?

The answer is very simple and very profound,
A great kindness from Hashem, a great healing,
We connect to the beginning,
The end of the Torah and the beginning is one,
And it’s brokenness,the shattered Luchos become whole again,
Because we are back to Berashis,
Where it all began,
Where we are born anew.

The Lamed at the end of the Torah,
The Bais at the beginning of the Torah,
Is “Leiv”
The heart.

That very heart broken,
Lamad at one end,
Bais at the other
Disconnected.
Fragmented.



The Bais at the beginning is what we thought we could have become,
Our potential,
Before we “messed up”
Before the Golden Calf,
Before the Broken Luchos
Before the Addiction,
Before the anxiety and depression,
Before all this pain

We were whole and good at that Bais-the beginning.
The Lamed at the end is what we are
What we see ourselves as after that great shattering
low, broken,
the Moshe is dead in us,
the addict,
the strong pull toward the unhealthy,
the forgetting of who we truly are,
a special neshomah,
greater than the highest angels,
doing down to the deepest depths,
to bring forth the greatest light,
so that the Lev,the Heart of Klall Yisroel,
becomes One and Whole again.

Forget about what we could have been,
Because never would have been,
Or should have been,
Because what we are is a vehicle for something even greater than we could have been,
It’s a new existence, a higher plane.

We hate what is in us.
Being in the depths of a dark deep struggle,
Looking at shmutz,
Laziness,
Apathy,
Pain,
Depression,
Anxiety,
Not believing that there is any good in us at all.

Once Screwed Up,
Always Screwed Up.

That is what we believe

FALSE!!!!!!

Because it’s just a major construction,
Right now in a ugly dirty state,
Ever hang around a house half constructed?
A very ugly unpleasant place,
May even see rats and roaches,
But 3 years later,
What beauty is there!!
Did you dream standing in that place that looked like hell itself, chaos,
Turn into a warm cozy dining room,
Large beautiful white covered table,
Shiny joyful faces,
The lights of the Shabbos candles,
Lighting up the world


The seforim say that our neshomas of this dark generation are  rooted in those last letters of the sefer torah.

These letters are sloppy

Because the sofer does not write them in his experienced hand

Ever been to an Hachnosas Sefer Torah?

The sofer just outlines them.

A novice plain non-sofer fills it in

We try our best

Not bad, not bad

But doesn’t compare to the rest of the letters

The proverbial classical inferior complex,

Sloppy Sloppy Sloppy

But if it would be neat and clean and perfect the sefer torah would be buried or burned.

I forgot with whom this was, but a godol hador deemed a sefer torah possul because those last letters were perfect .

A heretic must have written it.

Last letters too neat and clean.

Our Holy Minhag to have the tzibbur fill in those last letters must be kept.

Our Sloppy non-sofer letters of the sloppy neshomas such as ours are integral to the kashrus of our holy Sefer Torah.

Without our last uneven non perfect letters, those beautiful letters are
just shaimos.

Not a Sefer Torah

Hashem wants this.

He knows we are sloppy and weak

He knows we may not look at nice and as clean as those higher neshomas up there in Braishis or in the Shirah or in the Aseres Hadibros.

He needs us here.

Sloppy, but loyal

All the way to the last Lamed.

What happens then?

We connect to the Beginnig

The Breishis,

By fighting our darkness in our sloppy way, trying our best even if it seems to fall short, but trying trying, trying, then Hashem does the rest for us

We unite the Bais with the Lamed,

And the Heart of Klall Yisroel becomes One

Because that is the way it truly always was.

We were just too blind to see it.

Until now.

Author Pat Conroy (The Price of Tides, The Lords of Dicipline, The Water is Wide, The Great Santini, Beach Music, South of Broad, and the cookbook that has a lot of interesting stories in them,) suffered great abuse from his father and he wrote about some of it in a memoir called “My Losing Season”-a great book, because it describes a lot of life lessons about failures and losing. how losing went deeper  and richer and was more valuable to him than winning would have been

In the summer time I went with my brother to see him at a book signing of a new novel of his.(together with another Pulitzer Prize author Richard Russo)

He talked a little about the memoir “My Losing Season” which was mostly about a year in college that he was on the basketball team and he said that no matter how bad his father treated him, he always wanted to be close with him and to connect with him. So he knew his father liked basketball so he figured that if he would become a good basketball player  he would connect with his father.

And his words ring in my ears

“It was a colossal failure. I would not be able to connect with him.”

One night he played one of his greatest games. After the game, his father slammed him against the wall and told him that he played like a piece of garbage”

The yetzer horah does this to us all the time.

All the time.

We play our best game, we are on the right track, we are moving forward in the most productive manner, and suddenly and viciously that evil phoney slams us against the wall and tells us that we are a piece of garbage.

A lot of abuse that Pat Conroy suffered he could not write about openly so he put it in his fiction.

This scene depicts such abuse,

I will quote from the book “The Courage to Write” by Ralph Keyes

The most famous scene in Pat Conroy’s “The Great Santini” portrays a one-on-one basketball game that Marine Colonel “Bull” Meacham loses to his eighteen year old son, Ben.

Meacham is not a grateful loser

He demands they resume play, that Ben come back to guard him.

“I’m not gonna guard you, Dad.I won, ”Ben said, his voice almost breaking. He could feel himself about to cry.

Bull saw it too. ”That’s it ,mama’s boy. Start to cry. I want to see you cry,” Bull roared ,his voice at full volume, a voice of drill fields, a voice to be heard above the thunder of jet engines ,a voice to be heard above the din of battle. Bull took the basketball and threw it into Ben’s forehead. Ben turned to walk into the house, but Bull followed him, matching his steps and throwing the basketball against his son’s head at intervals of three steps. Bull kept chanting “Cry, cry, cry,”, each time the ball ricocheted off his son’s skull. Through the kitchen Ben marched, through the dining room, never putting his hands behind his head to protect himself , never trying to dodge the ball. Ben just walked and with all his powers of concentration rising to the surface of consciousness, of being alive, and of being son, Ben tried not to cry. That was all he wanted to derive from the experience, the knowledge that he had not cried. 

Even though the incident did not happen, Pat Conroy found that writing it forced him to confront long-repressed feelings about his abusive father.” The scene upset me badly,” said Conroy.” I had created a boy named Ben Meacham and had given him my story. His loneliness, his unbearable solitude, almost killed me as I wrote about him. We had hidden my father’s betrayal so completely –no one knew outside my family. It started all the engines up for me, the engines people in therapy know about but I had no idea about”

I read that paragraph with the basketball many times because I realized after a while what it meant for me.

The Yetzer Harah is  Bull

Cry Cry Cry he screams as the ball smashes into your skull again and again

But you have already won.

So you refuse to cry in front of that despicable maniac

Until you get to your room, lock the door, and cry your heart out to Hashem

Please get this maniac away from me.

I can’t take too much more of this.

Another poem I saw(not my own)

Anyone who is feeling this way on a constant basis needs to get help

nothing to be embarassed about

we are only given control over our own behaviors.

we cannot control other people's behaviors

Especially those closest to you.

What does this have to do with the issues at hand discussed here at GYE?

Everything.

Because many have this voice in themselves,

or the voice of their father and mother ripping each others guts out,

retreating in panick into Escapism,

anything anything that will drown out this terrible voice

as Uri said several times -from his therapist,

running running running to that Comfort Zone,

because,for now,this is the only place we can run,

unless we create a healthy save haven for ourselves,

such as this place.

and a safe haven in our own heart

which cannot happen,

unless we see the true good that is in our heart,

so we can escape there,or not "escape" there,but to be there safely and securely,the true comfort,that is within ourselves.


All I Ever


When all I've ever done
was stand by you
why do you push me away?

When all I've ever done
was make you laugh
why do you drive me to tears?

When all I've ever done
was praise you
why do you put me down?

When all I've ever done
was sing for you
why do you give me the silent treatment?

When all I've ever done
was believe in you
why do you tell me I'll never make it?

When all I've ever done
was always love you
why did you always hate me?

Words by Stanley T. Crawford


Words paint a picture of the calm blue sky,
Words paint a picture of the cold white snow,
Words paint a picture of the still black night,
Words can move, sway, heal, or anguish the soul.

Words narrate the work and rest of your day,
Words narrate the discussions with your mate,
Words narrate the fun and frolic of the night,
Words can move, sway, heal, or anguish the soul.

Words describe the men and women dead from war,
Words describe the lion chasing its prey,
Words describe the hawk devouring a mouse,
Words can move, sway, heal, or anguish the soul.

Words are used to create relationships,
Words are used to repair relationships,
Words are used to destroy relationships,
Words can move, sway, heal, or anguish the soul.



Power of Words by Letitia Elizabeth Landon 




  'Tis a strange mystery, the power of words!
Life is in them, and death. A word can send
The crimson colour hurrying to the cheek.
Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn
The current cold and deadly to the heart.
Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy
Are on their sound; yet slight, impalpable:--
A word is but a breath of passing air.

Along the words theme:

THE  POWER  OF  SPEECH


There  seems  to  be  unlimited,
Almost  omnipotent  power
Inherent  within  the  gift  of  speech-
As  if  G-d  says  to  mankind
"Take  my  double  edged  sword
To  knight  your  brother-
Or  to  slay  him."


Ability  to  communicate  with  holiness
Is  the  gossamer  thread
Which  ties  us  to  the  Heavenly  kingdom.
To  sever  it
Is  to  wallow
In  the  kingdom  of  animals.

And another.

Reb Yechida, I hope you dont mind me hijacking.

Perhaps should post it next week?

                                                       
WORDS

Building  blocks
mortar and stone
stretch heavenward.

Further than the ear hears
the eye sees.
Only the mouth
extends beyond
with threats and curses
weapons of war
in a dangerous bid
to outwit G-d.

A tower is built
in Babylon.

G-ds wrath
crashes earthward
as consonants and syllables
rain down chaotically
while sharp
accents and alphabets
pierce the tongues
of Man.

Built on the rubble
of rhetoric and deceipt

A world recreated.

7UP-

both poems are great and clear and powerful

and with stuff like this you can hijack as much as you can

if a plane is going to Florida and gets hijacked because this Yid says "I won't hurt anyone,I'm just taking you all to Yerusholayim"

that's a good thing

Dear brothers and sisters

To continue the theme of Braishis , to begin anew, “Today”, I quote Likutai Maharan #261

When a person falls from his spiritual level, he should know that it is Divinely ordained

This is because being rebuffed is the beginning of being drawn close

(I’m repeating this line)

THIS IS BECAUSE BEING REBUFFED IS THE BEGINNING OF BEING DRAWN CLOSE.

He therefore fell, in order that he should motivate himself to draw closer to God

The advice for him is to start anew, to enter the service of God as if he had never begun before.

This is a very important rule in the service of God: Literally every day people need to begin anew.

Then R Noson adds this note

See more on this subject elsewhere in the works of rabbeinu zl, how important it is that a person strengthen himself in the service of God and not become discouraged because of anything in the world, but rather always start anew. Study this subject well, and it will be forever pleasing to you

Dear friend have a wonderful Shabbos Beraishis

And please do not be discouraged.

Hashem loves us and very soon the rebuffing stage will be over, and we will also see the opening of the “Drawing Close” in a very revealed and special way.

My deepest wish is that this starts for all of us-right away

This Shabbos Braishis.

Dear friends,

This post may give away the summer camp that I was in for many years, and the approximate time frame, but so be it.

This was a theme song that I heard when I was a young boy that moved me to such an extent that 2 or 3 years later I asked someone who knew it verbatim to repeat it for me. and I wrote it down.

I was on the team that sang this song.

2 lines of it I never forgot at all

This was about 4 years prior to that Erev Tisha Baav experience that I talked about in a previous post when I first mentioned the positive influence and outlet of summer camp.

I came across the song a few weeks ago and I will post this here.

Tune of Odecha Hashem Elokah Bichol Levovi

Low 1

One day many long years ago,
A prince sat enveloped in woe
He sinned and was banished from home
Sent into exile to roam


Low 2

One day he did repent
I see now for what I was sent
For father’s embrace I do yearn
How can I ever return


High 1

My son wipe away all your tears
T’is I who’s suffered these years
If only I would see the day
Youd’e rush back before me and say


High 2

Oy Tatte I know what I’ve done
I will behave like a king’s son
I’de  grab you and let the world see
My only son youll’e always be


Low 3

But father its been so long since
I don’t even look like a prince
My clothing all spoiled and torn
My body all battered and worn


Low 4

But son,there’s no need to fear,
As long as your Ratzon is there
Together we’ll be once more
With Ahava just as before

(Back to High 1-Oy Tatte….)

The two lines that I had never forgotten was

Oy Tatte I know what I’ve done
I will behave like a king’s son


Do we always act like a king’s son?

Unfortunately no.

Do we at least yearn to act like a king’s son? (or king’s daughter)

That is within us to do all the time.

We may be far from our goal

But we can always be close to that yearning to attain it.

That yearning, even while yet still far far away from Hashem

Is very precious to Him.

And He will bring us close.

I wrote this on Motzoi Shabbos

And on Sunday ,in Shul, Rosh Chodesh, the Shliach Tzibbur (not me) sang this niggun for “Pischu Li” 

Hey Yechida, we were team mates!
Remember if we won?
color (blue?)

All I remembered (over these years) was:

if only I would see the day
Youd’e rush back before me and say

Oy Tatte I know what I’ve done
I will behave like a king’s son

But remember I definitely did. Its been bumbling around in the head all these years.

Thanks for the memory.

kutan

must have been the zchus of the abarbanel

a line I saw from Wayne Gretzky(former hockey player)


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"