The below was posted years ago when i BH started this thread-reposted this very important concept for review
The very special piece of Kli Yakar(Pinchas 26-2) shines out to us.Every family in Klall Yisroel has the Hei in the front and the Yud in the back.The Shechina dwells within us.He wants to be part of the family,not as an outsider,and certainly not as the "Black Sheep" of the family that is kicked out on the street.Sometimes Hashem feels like the kid nobody wants.The Hei and Yud disappears.The family crumbles.
The woman has the Hei of the shechina within her.The man has the Yud.Look in the Kli Yakar to see why the Hei is listed first(see as an example the family of "Ha-Cha-No-Chi").We can add that true the woman is a tznua,and is usually therefore in the background.But in truth the Hei is first.She is the true leader of the Jewish Family-behind the scenes.To emphasize this,the Hei is listed first.
Every woman has the Hei within her.This is true even when one is single,widowed or divorced.Every man has the Yud within him.One must keep the Hei and Yud safe within themselves,not to allow it to leave or hide deep inside themselves.
When a husband loves his wife,(for real,her true essence) he loves the shechina within her,the Hei,that his Yud is seeking to unite with.The same is true with the woman who loves her husband(for real,his true essence),reaching out to the Yud and bringing him home,bringing him peace and comfort,letting the shechina come in and shine on them both,healing them from deep wounds that life may have brought upon them in the past.
The wife may gain a few pounds,may be stressed,or at times insensitive,but the Hei is pure and intact as the day she walked down the chuppah many years ago.The man may be worn down(also maybe a little more than a few extra pounds),the knees hurt,the wrinkles are starting to show, and yes,your wife did spot some grey hairs(or baldness-depending on your mazal !!!),but the Yud is in him.And she loves his Yud,his unique personality Hashem gave him,he may make mistakes,but the Yud will always be with his Hei-forever and ever.
The stumblings and failings,the challenges we are facing causes the Yud and Hei,the shechina,to go into hiding.But it is retreivable.When the wife sees her husband trying so hard to stay clean and ehrlich(She may not say anything but she notices),she is instinctively drawn to the Yud within him,and her love for him will return and grow strong.He,in turn,will see his Hei,shining and beautiful-his true zivvug.
Children won't know this intellectually,but they are calmer and happier when they see thier parents,the Yud and the Hei,as one.This is the best chinuch you can give them.This is the greatest gift you can give them.There is more calmness in them when the Yud and the Hei are together and one,it calms them because the shechina has a soothing effect on us.
There is the Yud in every man.There is the Hei in every woman.Keep it safe.Keep it clean.My dear brother's and sisters we must know that the complex and powerful storm within us will never ever erase the Yud and the Hei within us.The fact that we are on this website proves that we have seen glimpses of it's greatness.We must tap into the shechina that is within us and loves us.If we see it in each other, we will be able to see it within ourselves.
