Thank you Bardichev & Battleworn

you give me great chizzuk

Dear friends (those that like poems)

This "If I had known" poem (the poem before the long post about our tafkid) may get lost within everything else here.

Please keep that concept in mind.

If you heart and mind is open to another Yid,you can save a life,you can open up a whole universe that is in this Yid.

sometimes,all it takes is a kind word.

You never know what great things you triggered because of this kind word.

If I had known,I wouldn't have kept those kind words inside me all these years.

I would have said them.

And if I would have recieved some kind words that was withheld in crucial moments in the past-I would have been a much better person today.

But no reason to cry over spilt milk.

We can start "knowing" today

I agree with you about the idea of the poem. People can always use an encouraging/nice word. Even when they don't show it.
I really enjoy everthing you post yechida. I know you don't need my approval  , but I want to make sure you cont. posting, because  we're all gaining from it.

TrYing

your approval counts a great deal.

If there is one thing I would ask of you it would be this.

Please do not underestimate yourself.

You may feel the obligation of finding flaws in yourself but you have a stronger obligation of finding the good and the positive in yourself.And when you tap into that and channel it right,who knows what you can accomplish.

yechida

I'm with Yechida.
But, don't feel bad, because I'm still trYiNg to do it for myself
:D :D :D
kutan

There is a book by Tzvi Freeman,365 meditations of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

Here is # 229. One sentence.

"Until you see the good within a person,you are incapable of helping him"

Which to me means that this "nebech,he/she is so screwed up we must do something to help" is a bunch of garbage.

sometime there are valid reasons why we are unable to help,but not because we think that there is nothing good in a person.

You must somehow see the spark of Avrohom,Yitzchok,and Yaakov in him;You must see a little glimmer of Sarah,Rivka,Rochel and Leah in her;and if Hashem decides He wants you to help a non-Jew you must detect the tiny ray of light within called "Tzelem Elokim"-only then can you help.

You find something you admire,that you aspire to,something you do not have yet,something good within.only then can you help.

So to repeat # 229. One sentence.

"Until you see the good within a person,you are incapable of helping him"

So Hashem tells yechida "I want you to help your wife,you know,the one I gave you".

so yechida bli neder,will try to do so.

there is only one way to do it 

to see the good within the neshomah that is with me and within me too(which is hard to do when bad-mood Syndrome hits home)

So to paraphrase # 229. One sentence.

"until you see the good within your wife,you are incapable of helping her"

those here that are nor married yet must have this sentence in mind for the near future.it will help greatly.and those that are married-it is time to start

My dear brothers & sisters you have just seen the amazing power of one sentence.

Do you have any idea how many such powerful healing sentences you have inside you?

here is one more.  #235

"Our souls cannot be broken that they should need repair,nor deficient that they should need anything added.our souls only need to be uncovered and allowed to shine"

this tshuva,this fixing,is like polishing silver.the rust or residue on the silver is external to it,as discussed earlier.the silver itself doesn't need fixing.it is perfect as is.you are just revealing it's pure essence that was there all along.

That why at the end of # 244 he says as follows

Do not repent.

Repentence means to stop being bad and to become good.

Instead,return.

Return to the essential self and to what is rightfully yours.

This is what we call t'shuva.


this,my friends,is extremely powerful statement that is totaly true.
this teshuva doesn't turn you into a Superman/Superwoman.It just turns you into yourself-what you were meant to be all along.

the only time I heard this type of thinking was when I was 5 or 6 watching Mr Rogers and his freindly neighborhood on Channel 13 and the whole world made fun of him.but he was speaking the truth.wherever he got it from,it's in our Torah.

I also watched Mr. Rogers!

:D :D :D

But I didn't absorb any mussar / hashkafa lessons....

> > >

All I remember are the shoes...

:'(

kutan⁶⁴

kutan-please knock off the 64.not even a 2.

I also remember the shoes,the sneakers and that sweater and the fish and the mailman Mr McFeeley and that little train that took off to another world and especially those days when everyone was grouchy,Mr Rogers was always in a good and kind mood.there was a book after his death from a friend who wrote to him and became good friends with him.I forgot the name of the book but it was a great book.

again,yechida learned alot of things from alot of strange places,but I was put into those strange places for a reason 

TrYiNg didn't understand. _(sorry..)




Nice play on words. What's the difference? When you return to the 'essential self' , you are stopping to be bad, and becoming good.

Hi Trying

I'm a lubavitcher chossid, I know the source of the saying, it was a sicha on Chodesh Elul.
So i can try and explain it.

Repentance means, exactly that to repent:
1. to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. (often fol. by of): He repented after his thoughtless act.
2. to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.
(SOURCE: Dictionary)

What the Rebbe was saying is that its not really the correct translation of Teshuva.
Teshuva is returnng to your essence and to hashem, from the loshoin of Toshuv.
Your returnng to who you really are. a yid in essence does not want to sin, his yetzer horoh just forces him into it and tricks him. like the rambam says. that we hit the guy until he says yes, because eventhough its a forced answer, the truth of the matter is, it isnt, because a jew really doesnt want to sin.

I dont think i did justice at all to the sicha, so stay tuned, and I'll look up exactly what the sicha says.
So ignore the above if not understood.

Trying

I think basically it's that point Seth said.

No Yid in his or her true heart  of hearts wants to sin at all,so even when the sin occurs,a bad thing was done,but that doesn't make the pure soul within bad.the bad thing doesn't damage the soul itself,it just blocks the light of the soul from coming forth and expressing its pure essence.Teshuva removes the bad external thing that blocks the soul,and allows the soul to express the goodness of what it was all along.

I hope this explains it a little better but I understand completely why the words seem like it is saying the same thing in different words

Dear Friends,

one of the purposes of posts such as these is to put a little lighter stuff between the more heavy and very important stuff.It's important for me(and I think for some of you as well) to take a little rest from even good things so we don't get overwhelmed by them and to use it properly.every person has a more serious side and more lighter side and Hashem wants you to use both of these sides in proper balance.

but I am curious what you think of this

I can't make heads or tails of what this experience means



The day my wife met my old “girlfriend”

This is a true story.

I was 9 years old and I was a very introverted and shy kid. was somehow closed inside and didn’t communicate much with boys my age, and certainly not with girls. This not talking to girls stuff was not because of any religious beliefs or frumkeit, it was more my personality being incapable at that time of any extended social activity of any kind.

I lived at that time on a nice residential block. I would walk to my corner for the yeshiva bus, or to go to the grocery, or to daven and learn in a shul on the avenue.

So one day there is a 10 year old girl, tall for her age with black hair and a pony tail, sitting on one of the 4 steps that lead into her house. very extraverted girl. to the extreme that I was introverted, that is how extreme she was extraverted-very very social.

I’m walking to the corner and there she is on her steps. She smiles and says “Hi, what’s your name” and  I mumble my name and run off. I do this for a while. She waves, I wave back and run off.

Finally, I walk by and she says “why are you always in such a rush?” That was when I had my first serious discussion with her. I do not remember any of our conversations at all. It must have been plain 9-10 year old stuff because if there was any deep philosophy there, I probably would have remembered.

All I remember was that I was once offered a large (kosher, of course) mickey mouse lollipop but I do not remember if my taava for the candy won and I took it or my shyness won and I didn’t. and that she was persistent in her asking of many questions that I felt I had to answer to be polite. she drew me out of myself and forced me to talk.looking back, that was a good thing and I appreciate her for that.

I think these conversations lasted about 8-10 months usually ranging from 30 second to 2 minutes a day on my trip to my corner.

After that it stopped. Just a hello on both sides and that was it. Do not remember whether it’s because the now 10 year old boy decided he is not talking to 11 year old girls anymore or that the 11 year old girl decided she is not talking to 10 year old boys anymore, especially when it took a lot of effort on her part to pull a conversation out of me.

Anyhow, when I turned 12, I moved off the block, started davening in a new shul that happened to have the set of maharal and reb tzadok there.

I never saw or spoke to this girl again.

Years and years pass. It’s about 2 years ago. One Sunday, my wife picks up my older daughter from a play date. My wife comes in with sort of a smile, trying to act upset, waves that finger at me and says “How come you never told me about that old girlfriend of yours? ” .I looked shocked because I am shocked. Girlfriend ?  Put the “frum” reasons aside, I could have made a lot of money helping people suffering from insomnia. Put them in a room with me, along with my “dynamic” personality and they will be sleeping soundly within 10 minutes .Girlfriend?

Anyhow, my wife picks up my daughter at her friend’s house and she meets up will a tall and very talkative mother who asks her “your daughter told me that your last name is such and such, are you related to so and so that used to live on such and such block?” and my wife says “yes, that’s my husband.” the mother exclaims(no, I wasn’t there, but I’m sure she “exclaimed” not “said”)”Oh!! so that’s your husband !! I used to live on that block and I used to talk by my steps to your husband ALL THE TIME!!”

Now, I have to tell you my daughter had a field day with that “ALL THE TIME” statement. Totty, you mean that at the age of 9 you were already talking to “all these girls on the block”? I don’t think that it was the talking to girls that shocked her, it was talking “ALL THE TIME” that she couldn’t grasp because I’m still not known to be this great conversationalist, to put it mildly. then she grills me because it’s her friend’s mother, do you remember the conversations, do you remember what she looked like, I say just a black haired tall girl with a pony tail with a positive sun shiny outlook that enjoyed communicating. Do you remember anything else? And from the corner of my eye, I see my wife listening with great interest, and I say (wisely) “nope, don’t remember anything else “which also happened to be the truth.

But for some strange unfathomable reason, though mr yechida was asked to do many things over the years, he was never asked by mrs yechida to pick up their daughter from that house-not even once.

I wonder why. 

yechida wrote on 20 Aug 2009 14:47:

She probably feels that the "Sunshine" will be too great for you. Sort of a Alma Diskasya concept.

Pintele Yid

yechida wrote on 20 Aug 2009 14:47:


You could've at least discussed Mr. Roger's.


This is one funny story...