“Beautiful” eyes
Manifested and accentuated
By the beautiful soul
Seeing through them

Waiting in traffic
Is a test
No question about it

As tension builds
One tries to calm himself
With pleasant thoughts

Even if not so successful
Very stressed out
It’s still a big achievement
To pull through
Not lashing out in frustration
And fighting ones way
To regain inner calmness
As soon a possible

methinks that if all drivers would keep a printout of this thread in their cars to read while waiting in traffic jams, road rage would be extinct

have a great shabbos Yechida

It also helps for me to get past an entire day of driving in NY without using any of my fingers improperly.....vhameyvin yovin...

Good Shabbos guys

Just as a person
Must not humiliate
His fellow man

So too
He must learn
Not to humiliate
himself either

Even as a joke
Self-depreciation
though sounds like humility
Is very unhealthy

For just as our souls
Are entrusted to us
So are our bodies
We cannot denigrate
Either one

This is why
Self-Mutilation
Is prohibited

We cannot copy
The lofty practices
Of some of our great men
Who rolled in snow
Or threw themselves
Down a flight of stairs
For the sake of repentance
Or reaching a higher spiritual plane

Great men
Have tasks
Beyond our calling

We cannot do this

Though Chazal
Say
There is no degradation
Of stripping a carcass of its skin
Nor was there any disgrace
In Yaakov’s suffering through
Cold or rain
Or sun or heat
To earn a living

But we still need to know
That overall self-generated suffering
Is not approved of by Hashem

Thanks for that wonderful reflection.

You are so eloquent -yet even an idiot like me can understand what you're trying to say.

Thank you ben durdaya


In a marriage this is true as well
Savlanus is a precious quality

But even “Savlanus
Can be had
Without compromising
Ones inner dignity

This is an art
Husbands and wives
Need to cultivate

To give in
Allowing oneself
To be humble in the presence
Of the other

But not at the price
Of losing dignity
And self respect
The proper dosage
Of humble self-sacrifice
And being a dignifies Ben/Bas Yisroel
Requires thought , planning
And a lot of prayer
To the only One
That can help us with this.

Removal of Worry
Begins with the knowledge
That very little
Is in the power
Of Man’s Free Will

In the realm of Torah & Mitzvos
Striving for the fear of heaven
That is where the gift
Of Free Will
Is to take place

Results are not ours
Therefore
Worry of results
Is not ours either

God is our shepherd
Therefore
I lack nothing

This does not mean
That we sit still
And be complacent
And allow life’s challenges
To shower upon us

What it does mean
Is that we can learn
To focus our energy
On what we can do
Prayer, talking to God,
Doing Hishtadlus for what is required
Stripped of the worry
That is often tied with effort

Enforcing One’s mind
With inner strength
That God rules the world
And each of us individually
So that it is safe
To let go
And remove worry
From our hearts

Though its true
That Torah misused
Can be poison
As a Talmid Chochom
Who lacks basic human decency
Can generate
The gravest Chillul Hashem

Nevertheless
Any Yid
No matter how low he has sunk
Should immerse himself in
The Holy Torah
And not feel at all
That he is a phony

For the inner essence of a Yid
Is to do the will
Of the Creator
Subtly
The words of Torah
Creates a light in the soul
The seed that will sprout forth
Later in time

There is a Yid
Who has committed to learn
With another Yid
Who was married to a non-Jew

One asks
That highly inappropriate
The learning of Torah
With another
Who violates
This very Torah
That he is learning

Yet, since he is a Yid
Despite his transgressions
The light of the Torah
Will have an effect on him
However subtle
It will definitely bear fruit
This is the light
That will ultimately
Draw the soul
Close to Him

Omein.

Long life
Is not just
A large quantity
Of time

It’s the quality of it

Living life to the fullest
Every single moment

We are all spiritual farmers
Toiling and working the soil
Of our souls
To bring forth beautiful and plentiful produce
Not just for ourselves
But for many others-even those at great distances-
To enjoy
And receive from the blessings
That God has allowed us
To produce

thanks as always great words of wisdom!

good shabbos

Aish Article


If couples fail to nurture their marriage, eventually they'll grow apart.

by Rabbi Tzvi Nightingale


Not long ago I heard of a couple who were calling it quits and getting a divorce. They are not youngsters and have been married for many years. The gentleman explained to me that it was not over anything dramatic such as an affair or significant change in finances, but simply that they "had grown apart."

It always saddens me when I hear this because I feel it could have very easily been avoided. I am sure there were many things I am unaware of that went on in the privacy of his marriage, and while I understand that each relationship is unique, there are nevertheless certain truths and rules of relationships that breed success, or lack thereof as the case may be.

"Growing apart" is a slow and insidious process that many couples are not even aware of happening to them before it is too late. It goes kinda like this:

When a couple first meet they are very excited about one another. There is energy and discovery in the relationship and they spend tons of time together getting to know one another. The courtship process continues this way until the big day, the wedding, and then some. The first years are hopeful, energetic, dynamic and bursting with excitement.

But as the years go by and the young couple settles into a certain routine, new events enter and creep into their lives. There is making a living, a child or two or three show up; they have their interests, some shared, most not. The job(s) have their demands, kids get older; there is carpool, homework, after school activities. They look for and buy a home and that too has many demands of time, energy and effort. Not only is there mortgage, but new furnishings, fixing old ones, a sprinkler system that always seems to be on the blink, redoing the bathroom, getting rid of the old smelly carpet and "shall we choose laminated wood, engineered wood or solid; how about bamboo, I hear it is eco-friendly?"

And so the older the couple gets, the more stuff happens in their lives that demand their time and attention. And while all of these issues are certainly important, the couple finds that they no longer have time and energy for each other. Their relationship gets relegated to the back-burner because there are so many imminent and important things to take care of. And lo and behold, before they know it, not only is that spark from their dating days long dead, there is very little sharing happening between them. They gradually become estranged from each other.

If this couple who are now in their 20th year of marriage would go back in time and revisit those days of early courtship, they would find something fascinating. They would see that when they told their friends that they had "just met the greatest guy/gal in the world," they didn't describe him/her like this: "He is so terrific, he is going to make every mortgage payment on time and not only that, but every car payment too!... and for two cars!... and both cars will be luxury vehicles!!" He certainly did not tell his friends, "She's the best... she is going to be so good at car pooling and making sure the house is clean and orderly and I just know that she is going to find the best pediatrician for our kids once we have some!!"

And while it is true that making mortgage and car payments on time are important, and finding a good pediatrician and caring for the kids is as well, this is not why you married this person. You married them because of who they are as a person, because you enjoyed spending time and sharing life with them. You married them for their soul, for their spirit, for who they are and not for what they would do or accomplish.

If you don't fight for your relationship, then like every other thing that is neglected, it wilts and it dies.But people forget that and lose sight of it because when they first dated it came naturally and effortlessly. But once real life happened and there was more on the table, they forget that they now have to make much more of an effort to be with one another. They didn't shift gears to realize they have to fight for their time to be intimate - and I don't just mean physically (although that too). They never told their kids, "No, it's Daddy and Mommy's time" and didn't do the same to their jobs, their blackberrys, their computers and every other important obligation that seemed more pressing than each other.

Because if you don't fight for your relationship, if you don't nurture it, if you fail to constantly monitor it, then like every other thing that is neglected, it wilts and it dies. Maybe not the first day or week or month or year, but eventually it will ... ever so slowly.

A couple "grows apart" because they failed to put in the necessary care and time to ensure that they grow together and toward each other. And while every couple is guilty of this on some level, those who have an awareness of its danger have a chance at ensuring it doesn't harm their relationship beyond repair.

So put down your iPhone, get away from the computer, tell your kids to get lost (in a nice way), forget Home Depot and take your spouse, get a bottle of wine, have a drink, look her in the eye and recapture what you had when you first dated her so very long ago.