profound insights,David

and the one you posted has the great advantage of actually rhyming

I'm missing out on a real joy in life.

There is a saying:
Don’t cry
Over spilt milk

This is a very Jewish concept
Don’t yell and scream
Over what has past

Even healthy “regret”
A key condition to Teshuva
Thought it’s a deep regret of the past
Its main focus
Is its projection
Into a brighter future

Even mourning is tied
To future hope
And present opportunities
There is no Tisha Baav
Without the Promise by God
Of an Everlasting rebuilding
For which we yearn every day

So it is
With our own failings

Do what you can do
To correct them


Dip into the past
Only to the extent
That it helps you
Build in the present day
Towards a hopeful future
Of joyful transformation

aish article

More is never enough.

by Rabbi Benjamin Blech


I used to think that the main goal of American business was to make people happy. Create new products so consumers have a better quality of life. Add new bells and whistles to existing technologies to offer a more satisfying experience to the users.

I thought happiness was the objective. But the truth is just the opposite: billions of dollars are spent to figure out how to make us feel unhappy. And unless we understand the secret motivation behind the desire of marketers to make us feel discontented with what we have, we are going to fall victim to a never ending cycle of unhappiness.

I realized it recently when I heard a friend bemoaning his fate. Not too long ago, but almost a previous era in terms of technological innovation, he bought the new iPod. He was ecstatic. But it didn't last. What a shock to discover that there is now newer and better model on the market. His formerly beloved iPod is now an ancient relic. How could he possibly be happy with it?

Since new is always better, there is a very short window of time for anyone to feel satisfied with what they have. To make sure that the contentment of consumers is very quickly terminated, there is a multibillion dollar industry whose purpose is solely the systematic propagation of unhappiness: advertising. Its goal, as admitted by advertising guru B. Earl Puckett, is summed up in this succinct credo: "It is our job to make men and women unhappy with what they have."

The "game" of creating unhappiness is a multifaceted industry. We can perhaps see it best in the world of fashion.

Big business brainwashes consumers to believe that they need more.Oscar Wilde once said, "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." Why do fashions change so quickly? One week you're an outcast if you're not wearing a certain kind of sneakers. The next week, you're a geek if you haven't switched to another brand. Why must you constantly have something else?

Because big business needs consumers, so consumers have to be brainwashed to believe that they need more – something newer, something better, something that will finally make us happy when we get it.

Of course once we buy it the cycle starts all over again.

Why do we go along with this? Why do we buy into a belief that is virtually guaranteed to make us unhappy since there will always be something newer that we don't yet have?

Because we've bought into the notion that happiness comes from having more, instead of the brilliant insight of the Talmudic sages that "Who is rich? One who is content with his portion."

More is never the answer. More has no limits. More seduces us with the unspoken promise of contentment when its very premise is that you dare not be happy with what you already have. If more is the goal, when can you possibly say you've achieved it? No matter where you're at in life more will still beckon you, using its stock in trade argument that you can't possibly be happy as long as there are still things that you don't possess.

Related Article: The Secret of Happiness

What's Your Number?

In the old film Key Largo, Edward G. Robinson, in the role that defined him, plays a gangster whose life is filled with violence and deceit. In the film he holds a family hostage. Someone asks him what makes him want to live this kind of life but try as he might Robinson can't answer this question. So one of the hostages, played by Humphrey Bogart, suggests an answer: "I know what you want. You want more." Robinson's face brightens as he says, "Yeah! That's it! That's what I want. I want more."

Fast forward more than half a century and hear how the same theme is repeated in Oliver Stone’s "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps," capturing what motivates those who are ready to destroy their friends and their families in pursuit of unlimited wealth. In a meeting between the young Jake (Shia LaBeouf) and the megalomaniac, Bretton James (Josh Brolin), Jake puts the question to Bretton, who has already caused the suicide of a competitor and the destruction of another firm with false rumors, "So what is your number?”

When Bretton doesn't understand, Jake explains that everyone has a really far out number that represents total success, the ability to get out of the race knowing that he is now the victor. “So what's your number,” Jake repeats. Bretton considers and after a few moments of silence responds with one word: "More.”

The desire for more is our contemporary idol – and we worship it at our own peril.

Sadly, we transfer the idea that only something newer and different will bring us joy into our personal lives as well.

We can replace our insatiable demand for more with the awareness that we have more than enough.Countless studies have shown that the secret of happy marriages is the ability to feel contentment with their partners in spite of the lack of perfection. True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. My father would tell people that he had the most beautiful wife, the best cook in the world, the greatest mother to his children. Did he really believe that my mother was truly the most outstanding woman in the world? Yes, he did, because he chose to ignore her faults and overemphasize her qualities. He wasn't interested in more. He knew that the woman he married was a gift from God.

The divorce rate today is testament to the results of worshipping more. “Why should I be satisfied with this person if there might be someone newer or better out there? I could have more than I have now.”

Believing that more automatically leads to joy condemns us to an endless pursuit as we ignore those parts of life that really give it meaning and joy.

But we can stop being the creators of our unhappiness by replacing our insatiable demand for more with the awareness that we have more than enough.

Kurt Vonnegut and novelist Joseph Heller were once talking at a party hosted by a billionaire hedge fund manager. Vonnegut pointed out that their wealthy host had made more money in one day than Heller ever made from his celebrated novel Catch-22.

Heller responded, "Yes, but I have something he will never have: enough.”

Light Notes # 8-“The Seven Quiet Special Days”-(Adar 2-5771)-Shmini

Dear Friends,

The Eighth day the Mishkan finally stayed standing. The Shechinah finally descended down on this world. For seven long days there was a lot of work and preparation, but no results. Every day of those seven days, Moishe put up the Mishkan and then dismantled it.
The Divrei Yisroel (First Modshitzer Rebbe) ties this to the concept of “Sheva Yipol Tzaddik V’Kom”

(Incidentally, if one wishes to have a taste of Chassidic thought and needs a more simple and clear and beautiful approach, I would recommend the Divrei Yisroel as well as the Yismach Yisroel of the Aleksander Rebbe,or the Bais Yisroel of the Gerrer Rebbe. There are profound concepts there written in a very simple clear language. Other works written in clear simple language are the works of the Chofetz Chaim , Siddurai Shel Shabbos, .Nesivas Sholom. Sukas Dovid on the Torah)

No matter how many times you try and nothing happens, you don’t give up

Rav Hutner explains that the number of falls .which 7 is not to be taken literally. But the 7 is many many times of falling. And that eventually, with persistence, there will be a VKam-there will be success

Moishe’s erecting the Mishkan and the subsequent breaking it apart give us all the Koach to build and to withstand the disappointment of a dismantling. It is not meant to crush us. It is to teach us that the dismantling is part of the process. The “Yipol” is the main crucial aspect of the V’kom, Us human beings have trouble with this concept. We don’t connect the dots. When we see the Shecinah coming down on Day 8 , we fail to see that Moishe’s 7 dismantlings was the preparation for this great revelation. We think this Simcha was DESPITE the 7 temporary “failed” attempts. In reality, it was BECAUSE of it.

The same is true when we are attempting to build our own Mishkan in our marriage. Often we try very hard and still many disappointments come our way. The husband and wife, very decent people are still struggling very hard to maintain a strong and healthy kesher with each other. It is not always easy. There seems to be many setbacks.But we need to know that as  long as we are making a effort (together with sincere tefillah) we are building the building blocks.To our human minds we have failed miserably.In God’s eyes ,we had just build a beautiful cornerstone. We see nothing now. But God sees progress .He is proud of our efforts.He is proud of us even as things fall apart in our human minds and in our framework of physical reference.And over time.God will let us see this great hatzlacha with our own eyes.But in reality we have done well,There is no Day 8 without Day1- prior to that setting the stage.Dont underestimate those 7 quiet days.

Rav Yehoshua of Belz quotes Rav Elimelech.”Gilui Eliyahu” is not a mitzvah in the Torah. The key is the yearning. That they had all along. All those 7 days. That’s the key. 

shkoiach again.
about the gilui eliyahu not being a mitzvah, i had thought that way for quite a while
good old rebbe rm

We are within “time”

God is beyond “time”

Chanukah is only 8 days
It’s apparent “flow” of light
Contained with a set time
That ends abruptly

So God blesses us
With “beyond – time” gifts
So that there are gifts of Chanukah
(as well as other time-specific gifts)

So the “beyond-time” Chanukah gift
Is the ability to shine our light
Into places of darkness
And finding the Hidden light
Within ourselves
To reveal it

To bring light into our own souls
So as to light other souls
For the soul is a candle
That yearns to raise itself
To the highest heavens

This is the light of redemption
Releasing the soul
From its captivity
Bringing it forth
So as to bring the world
To its perfection

We go to doctors
For God wishes to run
This world 
Within the natural order

We need to perceive
Beyond the layers
Of natural order
And see that it is God
Who heals us

Therefore
Taking medication
Or treatments
For illnesses
Does not contradict
Our faith in God

He is the One
Who is the only Force
Who creates the system
Of natural order

The true inner peace
Of a Jew
Is to travel the path
That the Godly soul
Yearns to take

This yearning is actually
The desire of God
Who sends him or her
Down on this earth
To take this unique path

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 07 Nov 2010 01:29:

;D
[/quote]

That kutan fellow is pretty funny...

Has anyone seen him around lately?
:o

Light Notes # 9-“ Motherhood/Fatherhood ”-(Adar 2-5771)-Tazria

Dear Friends,

We see here the preciousness of a mother. Both in perceiving one’s own mother, as well as how you look at your wife as a mother to your children that she has brought unto this world. And in truth, we need to look at ourselves as fathers, and even a bocher needs to view himself as a potential father, and even a person who will always be childless, there is yet within him or her, an aspect of motherhood/fatherhood that they have within them, than can be enhanced and brought forth even at an advanced age.

The Ali Shur alludes to this concept but I’m not sure that he would intend to apply it the way its written here, but the idea is a novel one. When a young boy becomes a young teenager, changes in his body takes place. He can be the holiest of the holiest of the holiest of boys he will be aware of the sexual impulses within him as well as the semen that will come out of his body at a certain point whether he wants it to or not. Even if he kept his thought very pure and did his best- this will happen. To his dismay,
he will realize that he is not Yaakov Avinu. But this should not shake him. And in general, he needs to know that this is a special gift, the gift of potential fatherhood, the gift of a future special union, and therefore this gift needs to be guarded with patience until the time that it is meant to be used.
Emunah plays a large role in a bocher grappling with sexual urges that he knows cannot be acted upon at all for many years. A bocher, especially in our generation is in a very difficult situation. He has a battle from within and without. And as Rav Twersky has said many times “Marriage is not a hospital”. If one marries just for the purpose of releasing sexual tension, then his marriage will have serious problems. That is not why you marry. And yet, there is no denying, that in most cases, a healthy marriage is one where this aspect of one’s humanness can be realized and expressed joyfully.
Emunah helps with this. It helps being patient. It helps putting our energies in other healthy productive endeavors. That until the time comes for him to marry, he can focus his energies joyfully on healthy things, knowing that he has a bright future ahead of him. The same would apply to every Jewish girl, knowing that she is a potential mother, this gift being realized later in life.

It is not easy to be a teenager in any generation. But in this generation, it’s an extremely difficult position to be in, if one is committed to living a pure life. Therefore, a lot of compassion and sensitivity is required of us to give them guidance and chizzuk. A Blatt Gemorah alone will not do. A dismissal of their frustrations by telling the, “Ligt in Lehrnen”-“just put your head in learning and put your mind off this nonsense” will not help at all. Their fears ,and struggles have to be addressed. And a Rosh Yeshiva whose only interest is that his student appreciate his shiur, and cares nothing for his talmid’s inner world is a fool, an idiot, and it too tied up in his own ego to realize what is really taking place in the soul of his talmid that he is doing absolutely nothing about. As  Rav Reuvain Feinstein commented of the attitude of some Magidei Shiurim “you, bocher ,have a question on the shiur?, I will answer you now. you have a problem? , see me in 3 weeks”

Reb Yechida,
Sounds like you have more to say. Could you elaborate on the problems that teenagers face today more than in the past, and what we COULD tell them?
Also, I did not grasp the Alei Shur idea, not what he says, and not how Yechida interprets it.

Sorry... I guess I'm rusty.

k

Are my eyes playing tricks on me?

Was there just a Kutan sighting?

Weather is getting warmer... kutan comes out to play.

Stand still so we can shear you, shepseleh...