Laundry Day

by Robin Rumbolt


In prayer one day I could hear the washer running. As I was thinking about the laundry I was struck by how much cleansing my soul needed. This poem compares the cleansing process of laundry and the soul.



Laundry Day


It’s laundry day today for my soiled soul

The process is a challenge but I know I’ll come out whole

I’ve been in this stinking hamper in darkness for too long

Dirty, stained and wrinkled, the stench is getting strong

I hear the washer filling; the water’s getting deep

I sit with other laundry all waiting in a heap

Detergent has been added; is that bleach I smell?

My eyes already burning; the water’s hot as hell



I see the hot steam rising as I’m emptied in

I’m wishing for another way to eradicate my sin

The twisting and turning has me tangled in a knot

Can all this agitation remove every stain and spot?

Finally it stops, the dirty water drains

Cool water now pours in like the springtime rains

The reprieve is short lived, more twisting and turning

At least the water’s cool, no detergent burning



The cycle stops again, the water all drains out

Hooray, I’m feeling clean, is what I want to shout

Then the spinning starts; I’m plastered to the side

I’m feeling cold and heavy; it was the wildest ride

In the dryer I go, its warmth is a relief

Soon the heat’s intense; I pray the cycle’s brief

When I’m taken out the dirt and stains are gone

Even wrinkles were removed; I’m ready to be worn

Have a wonderful Shabbos

The teaching of “Modeh Ani”
Or the “Aleph-Bais”
To another Yid
Can bring a
More brilliant light
In all the Worlds
Than your delving deeply
Into the secrets
Of the Universe

For the Godliness
Within the simple
Is more brilliant
Than in the
Basking of the light
Of the Endless One

From Rav Kook

VaYakhel: Two Layers of Wisdom



Two spun coverings stretched out across the roof of the Tabernacle (Mishkan). The inner covering was a beautiful work of fine linen and wool dyed indigo, purple, crimson. The outer covering, on the other hand, was a simpler affair, made solely of goat-wool. One might think that the magnificent inner covering was the greater of the two. Yet the Talmud points out that the outer wool covering required greater wisdom to make. How do we know this?

The Torah describes the women involved in spinning the multi- colored covering as being 'wise-hearted.' Regarding the simpler, outer covering, on the other hand, the Torah indicates that the women utilized a special, sublime wisdom: "the women whose heart uplifted them in wisdom ..." (Ex. 35:25).

What was this special wisdom? According to the Talmud, the wool was washed and spun — while it was still on the goats (Shabbat 99).

Two Forms of Wisdom

The details of the Tabernacle construction correspond to the configuration of the universe — physically, and especially spiritually. The Sages compared the building of the Mishkan to the creation of heaven and earth.

Rav Kook explained that these two Tabernacle coverings relate to two separate layers of sublime wisdom, the basis for spiritual light and holiness in the world. The first form of wisdom is abstract and general in nature; the second is practical and detailed. The abstract wisdom shines brilliantly with the multiple facets of the intellect and the varied hues of the imagination. This general wisdom deals with inner, sublime matters, and thus corresponds with the colorful, inner covering.

The practical wisdom, on the other hand, would appear to be a simpler matter, serving primarily to protect and guard the abstract concepts of the inner, hidden wisdom. But in truth, the wisdom of practical application of abstract principles is deep and rare. While spiritual abstractions may be revealed through normal prophecy and divine inspiration, the eternal Torah of deeds and mitzvot was revealed to the world only by means of Moses' unique prophetic vision.

"The women whose heart uplifted them in wisdom." These women were gifted with the innermost wisdom. By virtue of its profound depth, they were able to elevate the entire heart, all of life, all senses and emotions, all actions and all deeds. Their wisdom reached the level of "they spun (on) the goats." Even the most mischievous, base forms of life — as represented by the goat — were bound and tied to the supernal light of eternity.

Feedback on the concepts of these series of notes are greatly appreciated-either via PM or at taryaga@gmail.com)


Light Notes # 5-“Secret of Building ”-(Adar 1-5771)-Pekudai

Dear Friends,

If I remember correctly, I brought up this concept here a while ago, but it is too important and profound not to emphasize again, with more detail, because this  idea is one of those life changing concepts

The Bnei Yisroel brought the Mishkan , but it could not be put up. 

Rashi explains that Moishe Rabbeinu did not do any work on the Mishkan. So Hashem  allowed him the task to put it up. But he couldn’t, No human being could. The Kerashim were too heavy. No person could set those heavy beams upright and secure them. But Moishe was told to do it. Now, it is true, it is brought down that Moishe was physically strong. To kill Og later he must have been very powerful. Perhaps for that war , he was given special powers. And yet, here, the Chazal tell us clearly that Moishe did not have the ability to put up the Mishkan. And he was not given any super human strength to do it. Moishe saw that this task was impossible. Moishe tells Hashem “How can any human put this Mishkan up?”

And Hashem tells him something profound .

It is worthwhile to look at this Rashi inside. It’s worthwhile to hang it in your study or office. It’s worthwhile to learn this Rashi right before you goes to the Chuppah. Before every child is born.  Before undertaking any important task. Before starting Daf Yomi. And even if a relationship seems shattered, the situation seems bleak, and you need to start anew, look at this Rashi. Many great men and women after the Holocaust used applied this Rashi so that they could rebuild their lives. Or even for smaller things, and if I may say, ESPECIALLY for seemingly small things, look at this Rashi. For it is the small things that become great things. It’s the simple that is really the most profound. It’s worthwhile to study this Rashi when you have lost your job. Or in recovery from addiction. Or when a person had gone through the experience of a broken family via divorce or death, and needs to start rebuilding but he or she does not know from where to get the inner strength to do so,

Hashem tells Moishe, “Do what is in your hands to do.Let it appear as if you are putting the Mishkan up.And it will stand erect and stand ON ITS OWN.” As it says “HuKam HaMishkan”-on its own.

This is such a liberating concept. A great stress reducer when applied properly. Moishe was told to start doing it, make the effort, go through the motions , and put his heart into it, and Hashem takes care of the rest. Impossible? Yes, it’s impossible. But I’m not asking for results that are beyond your power. You do as I instruct you and I will take care of everything else.No reason to get discouraged.

It is interesting that Miriam instinctively knew this. I will reach out to get Moishe from the river. Can’t do it? You are right .I can’t. But I will do what I can. Let God take care of the rest. And Hashem will give you what you need. “on its own”

People make a big mistake here because these two examples had happy endings. The Mishkan was erected even though Moishe physically couldn’t do it, and Moishe was pulled out of the sea even though Miriam physically could do it. But what about the so many stories that did not have such marvelous endings?

But the truth of the matter is that it makes no difference. Nothing is lost anyhow. Lets look at Dovid Hamelech. He so much wanted to build the Bais Hamikdosh himself. There Hashem said “No”. And yet the “No” was an astounding “Yes”!!! Hashem found his pure heart precious in His eyes. Hashem comforted him. Hashem told him that his tehillim was even more beloved that the korbonos.

And so ,in the true reality of things , Dovid’s “failure”  was no less of a beloved by God than Moishe’s “success”. Is the building of an orphan home or soup kitchen any less valuable in God’s eyes if constructed in 1938 than in 2011??? The first would be destroyed and obliterated within a year while the second may be standing for 100 years!!!  To us humans , we see the1938 building of that very temporary chessed as a failure. As a waste. As a fruit tree that did not bear fruit. Why? because the Nazis destroyed it. Most of the precious Yidin who provided, and the precious Yidin who received would die in only a short while. So looking at the “bottom line” how much worth did that chessed structure have??

That is our flawed human thinking. God has a different view on reality. And He wants us, the Bnei Yisroel to appreciate the true nature of  the  our sincere and heartfelt efforts in doing God’s will whatever the results may or may not be.But true value is not measured in those standards. Even a small chessed done in the Middle Ages has eternal value.

The point being that “results” are not in our hands. We need to make the effort. And even if the task seems impossible , we start it. Now, if Hashem decides its not going too far, so be it. But why should that discourage a person, it was never in human hands in the first place!! Because even when there was a major success , you didn’t do it!! It was “Hukam Mayalov”-it was erected on its own. So no reason to have vain pride at the success and certainly no feeling of crushing defeat at the failure. Because the “result” was not your success and failure. All you need to ask yourself is whether you did your part.

This Rashi is the key to dealing with setbacks and adversity. For example, let say you spend countless hours trying to make peace between a husband and wife. And it helps only for a short while and they divorce. Or you raise money for a sick person’s medical treatment but it doesn’t work and he dies. You were a success. Of course if the marriage was saved and the sick person was healed ,you would feel 1000 times better about it. No greater feeling than that.You saved a marriage.You saved a life.But this Rashi is telling you the deepest truth.You did nothing.Other than your effort,The marriage or person was healed “on its own”

May your stream
Flow outward
Sharing life’s blessings
To all

As long as you are
Connected to the Source
You can achieve
Everything

Highest Charity
Is the helping
Of putting a person
On his own two feet

Highest teacher
Is to give his students
The ability to inspire
Others
To become great teachers
Themselves

Highest father
Gives his son
The essence of fatherhood
Raising him
To become the best father
To his children

Highest mother
Nurtures
Loves unconditionally
So that the infant
Grown up
Will do the same
For all those
Who desperately need it

Highest Yid
Bring out the best
In all those
Whom God  places
In his path 

Harsh Words
Has
No place
In a Jewish Home

Harsh Words
Unleashes a Holocaust
On a marriage
Devastates children

Harsh Words
Corrupts,
Decays,
Embitters
Crushes the spirit

Harsh Words
Created ugly divisions
Within our nation

Harsh words
Are not isolated
Nor contained
In a safe cage

Harsh words evolve
Become darkly sinister
As they become
Harsh deeds
Inflicting
Terrible harm

Harsh words
Are a major reason
Why we are stuck
In this most long
And extremely bitter exile

If you don’t
Love your fellow Jew
Then it’s pretty clear:

You don’t love God either

When you develop
A “geshmack”
In a sugya
But feel no “geshmak”
In the goodness of
Your fellow Jew

Then your “geshmack”
Is an egotistical one
A product of the arrogant “I”
Misuse of a great gift
As a jewel buried in dung

Before visiting the beautiful and scenic
Grand Canyon

Observe a pitcher of cold water

For the thirsty

That is the most beautiful sight
In the World

beautiful!
thanks yechida

Very good that the MISHPACHA article is there,and this will hopefully allow people who need to help to be able to get it

But these sentences, though not completely untrue, are extremely offensive to me,even as a non-addict. And parts of it are just simply false.

First he describes the support groups that exists for overeaters,alcholics,and gamblers

And then he says the following

"There are weaknesses,and most of us have some weakness.But Internet addiction is different.It seemingly marks one as a total hypocrite,living one life in public and another subterranean life,hidden from everyone else,above all the person to whom one is closest-his or her spouse."


Firstly, there are 2 definitions of hypocrite:

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion

2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

The second definition is clearly true in regards to all addicts.But the truth is that this definition can apply for anyone who has sinned.A God fearing Jew,when sinning,even by a mistake, is at that moment acting in contradiction to the Torah which is his clearly stated belief.At the moment of sin,he , indeed, is a hypocrite,for he is "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings"


The first definition clearly does not apply to almost all the addicts whose posts I have read on this forum.When we are davening or learning or giving charity or doing a chessed for our wives , we are NOT putting up a false appearance of virtue and religion.99% of the men here are very deeply religious,way deeper than the many superficial people out there.Read the Tanya.as well as many other seforim.There are 2 opposite forces warring within each and every one of us.You want every Yid who slips and loses a battle a hypocrite,I guess you can.But this is not reality.The desire to be close to God is real , way more real than our negative tendencies , even those tendencies that pull us collectively towards the shmutz of the internet.

And so the use of the word "hypocrite" (even with that very diplomatical and tactfully spineless word as "seemingly") is not completely true, and it is reprehensible to be used here

And if the men here are hypocrite , so are many well known Talmidei Chachomim that I have met,that from a distance (ie Torah Tapes,public speeches) sound so pristine and movingly beautiful,and yet when looking closer, the warts of this very "hypocrite" nature stand out and seemingly appear to "shine" forth very brightly

Such as an "Ish Emes" caught with tax evasion,an "Ish Kodosh" caught molesting a young teenager,an "Ish Sholom" that degrades and verbally abuses his wife,An "Ish Bal Medreigah" who scorns everyone who has weaknesses and flaws until he is forced to see it in front of his own face with his own child or grandchild.Such as a "Ish Klall" whose own houshold is a churban via his own hand,Such as a "Ish Madrich Haklall" who tells eveyone to limit there invitation quota at chasunas and then invites the whole world to his own,Such as a "Ish Kiruv Speaker" who talks about how every Yid is so so precious,and yet would becomes neuseaus when these Yidin come within his 4 Amos,and would find it very distastful for any one of his kids to have anything to do with them.

So,no, Internet Addiction is not different.

Yes,its a pervasive problem in our society,but leading a "double life" is not unique to Internet Addiction.

I have seen many many people with "double lives" way way prior to the internet.

So "hypocrite" is a terrible terrible word to use.

True. But in our puritan society we all like to say "He's a porn addict!!!!!!, Wow, what a hypocrite" more about that then by other things, even if they are equally hypocritical.

And laugh derisively,

and look over our shoulders nervously...

Light Notes # 6-“Humility within ones Mission in life  ”-(Adar 2-5771)-VaYikra

Dear Friends

When Hashem called Moishe to the Ohel Moed, Rashi says this was as an expressing of love and affection. And the small Aleph, the humility within Moishe for not entering until being called, was the crucial point as to why there was the great love and affection that Hashem felt towards Moishe Rabbeinu. The small Aleph expresses the “Chibah”

We see how Moishe ran away from leadership and from being a ruler over Klall Yisroel.
He felt he wasn’t worthy. We see this at the very beginning. He did not want to go to Pharoh. But he was commanded to do so. And so he did.

And yet from the Midrash it seems that Moishe felt that was that. Hashem will see that he is not worthy anymore , so Moishe stood to the side. Until Hashem gave him the next Shlichus.
But despite his reluctance, little by little, Moishe took the Yidin out of Mitzrayim, split the Sea, brought them to the Midbar, brought down the Manna, the quail, got them water, organized the making of the Mishkan.

He was ready to retire after every Shlichus. And no, it was not laziness. He was ready to serve God humbly and quietly with all his strength. But in his humility, he felt he was unworthy of the task. And when God sent him on his next task he obeyed completely, But just because he was worthy of one task does not mean he was worthy of the next one.
Perhaps Hashem will find someone better than him to take over.

This is the amazing part. When Moishe at the very beginning said “Mi Anochi”, Who am I? it was not a one time statement.This “Mi Anochi” was with him all his life.

And so no matter how many years passed, no matter how much he accomplished ,no matter how many times Hashem spoke with him, even inviting him to the Heavens,he did not take it for granted .Just because Hashem called to me yesterday, does not mean He will call me today. This is the deeper meaning in Rashi. That for every “dibros,amiros,tzivuyim” there was a prior “calling”. He never assumed in his humility that his unique position would continue even a minute beyond what he was assigned. That is why he always needed a new calling. A new Vayikra. Always with the small Aleph. Always not feeling that he was worthy. Always thinking that he finished my Shlichus as a Melech, now Hashem will appoint someone else. or perhaps deal directly with Klall Yisroel

We certainly can learn from Moishe. If life shines upon us and we are blessed with special privileges, we cannot assumed that we deserve them indefinitely. With humility we must have our hearts open to the “calling” to see that is indeed God’s will for us to continue. This is the soul’s sensitivity to know what our Shlichus is. And not to become egocentric or assume that we can assume a privileged role that we  possibly were not meant to have 

A Reflection on getting older

(Even a teenager, or a young person in their twenties and thirties
Should contemplate on this not just as a perspective on your later years, but
Rather to allow you to live more deeply and richly in the present )

Each stage in life
Is a gift

Many dread
Getting older
But it need not
Be so

Yet, the full blessing
Is revealed
In the third generation
Grandchildren
As it’s written
Concerning the
“Chut Hameshulash”
That is not easily broken

What is also true
Is that many hidden
Gifts and talents
Deep within a person
May come to the surface
Of consciousness
At a later age

It’s important
Not to define
Your identity
With your job
Or money, or status,
Or functionality

For that is
The disease
Of our culture
“How much you are WORTH?”
“What do you DO?”
“What DEGREE do you have?”

If one always defines
Himself or herself
In terms of external status
Then growing old
Can become very painful

However
If you define yourself
As a unique soul
With specifically designed gifts
Then growing
Can be
Much more pleasant
Because then you have more time
To explore your eternal world
And see areas within yourself
That you haven’t seen before

Explore what you truly are
What hidden jewels
You can pass on
To the next generation
And to the world around you

These are the people
Who discovered within themselves
Innate abilities
To start painting beautifully
At the age of 75
Or to write your first book
At the age of 90
And the fourth book
At 95

These are people
Who after retirement
Put their hearts and minds
Into Shas
And completing it
Several times over

Yidden suffering from
Severe illnesses
Require special compassion
And support
And that deserves
A full separate discussion
Unto itself
May Hashem heal all our precious members
Of Klall Yisroel

But barring such serious illness
One can do so much
Even within the constraints
Of the natural frailty
That comes with old age

What a chessed it is
For us to encourage
Men and women
In their 50’s,60’s,70’s
Who are in good general health
Even those who require homecare
Or live in a place of assisted living
Or a nursing home
Encourage them towards a joyful life
For despite the public opinion of our sick culture
They are not the living dead

Older people
Can yet accomplish
What their souls
Were meant to do
With a joy of life
There is so much to be gained
From the souls of elders
That are spit upon
By our twisted society

We ask God
Not to throw us away
In our old age

But God replies
Before you ask Me of this
Take heed
Not to throw YOURSELF out
In your old age

Yes, I tire more quickly,
I need more rest
I can’t overstrain my body
But there is a special soul
In this aging body
So especially at that stage
We can inspire
And be
What we were born to be