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Light Notes # 3-“ The World of Shabbos”-(Adar 1-5771)-Ki Tissah
Dear Friends,
The Shabbos meals can be very dry and empty , even when Divrei Torah is being discussed there It can be a very unpleasant experience. To the extent that you can cut the tension that is felt with a knife.
This is even when things were done “Properly”.
It is marked off in the dry cold halachic brain that things were indeed done “Properly”
Sholom Aliechem-check .
Askinu- check .
Kiddush, looking at the Neiros -check.
Netilas Yodaim-check,
Bitzias Hapas, Lechem Mishneh-check.
a zemer-check.
No Boirer-good.
No Sechita-good.
Proper berochos for desert-check.
Mayim achronim-check.
Birchas Hamozon-check.
Now I learned Hilchos Shabbos and I need to learn it again. And as the Mishna Berurah writes in the introduction there that one must always review these laws. So don’t think that I do not take Halacha pretty seriously.
And yet, even a Shabbos Tish in accordance to Halacha could be Hell. It can be fully devoid of any life and of any empathy, being more like a well oiled machine with nothing there. There is an undercurrent of unhappiness present. The wife is slaving away but is barely noticed. Unless there is something wrong with the kugel. Or the chicken was somewhat burnt and the chusheva guest may notice.
This is, of course, just one specific example that may not apply to you or your household
But what is a common thread in our communities is that the true gift of Shabbos has been lost and forgotten
Let’s now discuss the World of Shabbos.
It would be an impossible task for me to do justice to this topic, but lets try to get a little taste of this World of Shabbos and see if we can try to enter into it.
Before we begin we need to temper this description with some realism. Especially for those who don’t have the luxury to take Friday afternoon naps. Especially for those that are exhausted from a full week of hard work and stress.
And yet the powerful yearning for the World of Shabbos needs to be a goal
As I heard a quote from Zelig Pliskin “when you stretch our your arms and reach for the stars, you may not touch them, but at least your hands won’t get stuck in the mud”
So having this dream in your heart, as unrealistic as it may seem,will help your Shabbos be transform to a day of Calmness & Inner Joy
Shabbos is “ a sign between Me and you throughout the generations”
It is a sign of your relationship with God.
This sigh is a “GIFT”. It is a badge of honor. It’s a source of great pride to us.
It is worthwhile to read the Appendix of the Artscroll book “Reb Shraga Fievel” (Mendelovich).His talmid, Rav Nesanel Quinn, describes how his rebbe prepared for Shabbos, and how his whole existence was on a different plane on Shabbos
I have heard a description from another talmid, Rav Moishe Wolfson in similar terms
And in the book it says as follows
“Rav Shraga Fievel had a brilliant mind , and joyful lively disposition ,and a symphonic neshomah. His neshama was a song for the glory of our Creator, a song for the marvels of Creation, and a song for the unique ,distinctive status of the Jewish People in the history of mankind”
Now that was Reb Sharga Fievel
What about us ?
Every person, on his or her level, has a much deeper connection to the Creator on Shabbos. Its more deeply felt. It’s s gift to us. All of us.
It is true. A big focus of the laws of Shabbos is what we cannot do.
And yet, the greatest gift of Shabbos is what we can so. What we can feel. What we can see. You can use the power of imagination that God has given you to aid you. Who says imagination is always negative? It’s there to be used for positive purposes. It’s a gift!! Look around!! It’s a different world on Shabbos!! The sun doesn’t look quite the same, It’s a Shabbos Sun!!! The streets are Shabbos streets, the home is a Shabbos home, you wife is a Shabbos wife, your children are Shabbos children, the nesomah yeseirah there, it is real and it is there!!! Look and you will see more kedushah there. You may have tasted the chulent Thursday night, but on Shabbos it tastes the taste of Shabbos. Your bed is Shabbosdik. Your clothing are Shabbosdik, Hashem’s presence is more palpable. More easily felt. So that the work restrictions do not chain you down. It frees your soul!!! allows it to express itself, to sing, to pray. You can’t say Nishmas on a plain old Tuesday morning. It just doesn’t feel like Nishmas. Same words, but its not the same. On Shabbos-Now that’s a Nishmas!!!
The Fridays are getting longer, try to rest. If you know you can’t ,try to go to sleep earlier on Thursday night.
If youre too exhausted on Friday night, don’t lose heart.
Get a good night’s rest on Friday night and the light of Shabbos will be felt in the morning. If this Shabbos didn’t go as well as expected, there is always the new opportunity of the upcoming Shabbos .
Learn things you enjoy, try “Siduro Shel Shabbos” that will aid to the special feeling of Shabbos. Sing Zemiros , or any niggun you enjoy. Your tired Shabbos afternoon?, then take a nap, rest ,and take with you a story about tzaddikim. When the days get warmer, take a walk with your wife in neighborhoods where it is very residential and pleasant. Talk about pleasant things, nice thing, joyful things no we need to take care of this or that.
For those that practice Hisbodidus (Talking privately to God in your own words),Shabbos is a beautiful time to do so. Especially as the days get longer. If something is bothering you, certainly , pour your heart out to Him. But also it is a great time to give thanks to the pleasures and blessings of your life.
It is also a time you can repair your relationship with your wife and children. Little by little. You have time to talk to your wife and listen to her. And it makes no difference whether she is a niddah then or not. Shabbos is a time where the inner Kesher between the two of you can be enhanced greatly. As important as it is to have Orchim, it has to be balanced with having a peaceful and less stressful home. If it’s too hard on your wife, don’t invite guests. Let your wife be your guest.
It is very important not to overstrain yourself on Shabbos. Even if you wish to learn many hours be careful that it is not of a tense nature, but of a joyful one.
Rest your mind.
You have time to think more slowly, less intensely, and this type of thinking is extremely powerful
It’s a time to think about Emunah and Bitachon and Hashgacha Peratis. May we merit to feel the true gift of Shabbos
;D
