thanks, yechida, that was beautiful!

(what about נהרות ימחאו כף?, always struck me as an odd idea)

There is a reason Mr Yetzer Horah has us focused on our faults

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."-- Marianne Williamson


(this "powerful beyond measure"  awareness is not the ego.It is the soul that is connected above to its Source, who indeed is "Powerful Beyond Measure " Awareness of this power and greatness is not ego,but true humbleness.because we know that this is a gift to us,not something we "earned",not something we "deserve".the greater awareness of our soul's power,the more humble a person becomes.This is what is says in this weeks sidrah "Katonti MiKol HaChasodim",as the Sfas Emes explains from the Chozeh of Lublin,even the "Kotonti",the humility,is a gift and chessed from Hashem)

from Antonio Machado (translated by Robert Bly)

Last night I dream-blessed illusion-
that I had a beehive here
in my heart
and that
the golden bees were making
white combs and sweet honey
from my old failures

It's true that as the Chofetz Chaim says,if you are not speaking in Torah or for what is important in the function in life ("L'Toeles"),then it is better to remain silent.

Yet sometimes silence be devastating.

That is when a person's words are locked inside of him-unable to come out.

It is a chessed to encourage such a person to talk.and it is a greater chessed to really listen when such a person is finally ready to talk.


No Words To Say
by Chessly Lynn Nesci

I am always afraid I won't say the right thing so I don't say anything at all

Brain hurts from reading words
Trying to dissect the true meaning
I look deep and feel overwhelmed
Going back to take a second look
Finding more words that resonate
Heart is aching with mixed emotion
Wanting  to write what I feel inside
Fearing they will smirk and laugh
Afraid my words are not adequate
So I shy away with no words to say

men need to be careful and cautious in their interaction with women.

while some men use women for their own selfish purposes,they also fall into the trap in being used by the very same women that they think they are using.

so be careful....


Love Game
by Jerry Pat Bolton


love
by any other name
confusion to the nth
we perish in its name
kill
destroy
ignore it haughtily
especially men
man
the need for the physical
ephemeral cut and dried
man
Zeno solitarily stoic throughout the ages
flinty hearts
giving only to take
woman
passionate woman
start early
dolls and playing house
dusting the stoic nature from
man
remaking him in her pleasurable eyes
modern man
ancestry of hunters bold
fill the larder
bloody red meat
no longer has to hunt
storebought blood and meat
still . . .
deep within
is the hunter's DNA
woman
inherently know this
early age they understand man's need
to hunt
they lay a trail of clues
through the tangled jungle of love
making certain
he can find them
rewarding him when he does
with womanly charm
teasing some
flirting some
soon, after carefully laid plans
man hunts down
and claims
woman
then wonders why a strange
and shrewd
smile creases her face

Don't Quit
Anonymous
 
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit

From Chabad.org

What's Wrong with Pornography?


By Tzvi Freeman
Question:

Is pornography bad? If so could you please explain why it's bad and how it affects a person's life?

Answer:

Good question. Too often we just assume something is bad because everyone says it's bad, without thinking into the reasons.

Everyone knows that child pornography is bad because it's been demonstrated over and over that people who look at that stuff end up acting it out—and really destroy people's lives. That's beyond the unconscionably cruel exploitation of the children involved.

Other forms of pornography are harmful for a similarly oft-repeated reason: Pornography makes women into objects of desire rather than real people. We want to have relationships between person and person, not person-to-object.

But there's something much deeper than that in pornography, something that gets at the very core of being a man. A real man is someone who maintains control over himself. Animals can't do that—they just respond to their instincts. People are free in the sense that they can decide what is the right and proper thing to do.

But when someone is looking at pornography, he is actively undermining that inner strength of his, allowing himself to slip into being an animal. The eyes see, the hormones are triggered and the mind is washed away in a sea of biological tyranny. A grown human being becomes a slave of one tiny organ of his body. In his relationship with women, as well, he becomes enslaved in his passion for them—and a cinch for them to manipulate.

If you want to rise in life and become a whole and healthy human being, you need to maintain control of your mind. It's your mind, after all. And the first step in controlling your mind is to control your eyes. Keep them from staring at that which doesn't belong to you.

also from chabad.org related to this weeks parsha

Why don't we eat the sciatic nerve?


By Menachem Posner
And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob's hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him…Therefore, the children of Israel may not eat the gid hanasheh, which is on the socket of the hip, until this day, for he touched the socket of Jacob's hip, in the gid hanasheh. (Genesis 32:25-33)

Question:

Why, in this case, do we remember something by not eating? In our tradition, we eat certain foods to remember events. On Passover we eat matzah to remember that we left in a hurry. On Chanukah we eat oily food and cheese to remember the miracles. So why do we not eat the gid hanasheh (as the sciatic nerve is called in Hebrew) to remember this event?

Answer:

Thank you for asking that question; it led me to a very interesting discovery:

The man with whom Jacob battled was actually the angel of his brother Esau. The Zohar1 describes Jacob's battle with the angel as an symbolic of man's struggle with his darker side. The entire night the battle remained even, as Jacob held strong.

As morning was approaching, the angel knew that he had to act fast, for soon the night—the time when he has power—would be gone, and he would be powerless. He therefore struck Jacob's thigh, the Zohar explains, in the place from which all sexual desire extends. And there, he was able to wound him.

The Zohar teaches us that in every struggle we are powerful and can overcome our evil urges if we so desire. There is only one place where the lust is so strong that even great men are powerless – the gid hanasheh. Its very name means to forget, because once it has been aroused, all rational thinking and religious scruples are left far behind.
The only way to win that war is to stay far away in the first place, for once the first flirt his been thrown out, there is no knowing where things can lead. For this reason the gid is not eaten at all but utterly avoided.

Yours truly,

Rabbi Menachem Posner

fathers and mothers sometimes can learn from their young innocent children.

if the parents are not careful , those innocent children may become like them,in ways that it would be better that they wouldn't be,

It is all about breaking that vicious cycle


Love Birds
by Kate Burnside

LOVE BIRDS


Men with feet of stone
speak thoughts downcast –
rough words bruising the heart
and battering the mind.

Women with hands of steel
have tongues like knives,
hacking flesh from bone
and filleting idea.

But children of air
feed on the wing,
rise on inspiration’s whispers,
dispersing seeds of change
that cultivate the earth
with fresh swathes
of soul-enriching harvest.

They hover above muddied soils
in their multi-coloured feathers,
dusting off the world’s despair
with the promises of rainbows.

From Reb Shlomo

much shorter than his typical ones but as profound,perhaps even more so!!

Have a wonderful Shabbos , my friends !!


  Yakov Avinu told Esov, I cannot bring up my children like you do, to force them and shout at, or hit them, because I know the holiness of Yiddishe Children, and I will walk together with them, I will match my footsteps to theirs, this will ensure that they will not stray away from the right footpath.

So we see last week, how did Yaakov know that Rochel was his soulmate? ... The Midrash says a gevalt Torah: When Yaakov came to see Lavan, suddenly he saw a girl and he saw her with the sheep, and it says she came with the sheep.  So the Midrash says that usually a shepherdess had a big stick and the sheep are running all over the place, and she is running after them, yelling at them, hitting this sheep, hitting that sheep, telling this sheep to go this way, and telling this sheep will you please follow the other sheep, and she's yelling all the time, and Yakov saw Rachel and he saw the sheep, but there was no stick in her hand – mamash no yelling, she was walking with the sheep because would any sheep miss just walking together with Rachel???

So I want to bless you that you should be privileged that the children should follow you so much, you should never have to yell at them, you should never need a stick, like our holy mother Rochele, and you should just be blessed with walking with the children till mashiach is coming, and we should all be blessed to see this, and we should be there together. 

Classic R' S.

Essay from R YY Jacobson-Parshas VaYashev

 

You may have heard this old "horrible" joke:



A man goes to see his rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

"What's wrong?" the rabbi asks.

"My wife is poisoning me," came the reply.

The rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you. I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"



"Tell you what," the rabbi says. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

The next day the rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice?"

The man anxiously answers, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the rabbi.



Biblical Music



The Bible is well known as a book of words. Less known is the fact that it is a book of tunes. Each word of the Torah contains a musical note with which it is read and sung in synagogues whenever the Pentateuch is read publicly.



This is, parenthetically, what makes the reading of the Torah a challenging task. Since these notes are not transcribed in the Torah itself - they were transmitted orally from generation to generation - the person reading the Torah must memorize the appropriate note for each word.



These musical notes, passed down from Moses through the generations, are extremely meticulous and significant. They often expose us to a word's or a sentence's depth that we would have never appreciated from the word or sentence themselves.



One of the rarest and most unusual musical notes in the Bible is known in Hebrew as the "shalsheles." No other written musical note of the Bible is rendered in a repetitive style except the shalsheles, which stubbornly repeats itself three times. The graphic notation of this note, too, looks like a streak of lightning, a "zigzag movement," a mark that goes repeatedly backward and forward.



This unique musical note appears no more than four times in all of the Torah, three times in Genesis and once in Leviticus (1). One of them is in this week's portion, Vayeishev, at a moment of high moral and psychological drama.



The Refusal



Here is the story:



Joseph is an extremely handsome teen-ager and his father Jacob's favorite child. He is sold into slavery by his brothers, who loathe him. Displayed on the Egyptian market, he is bought by a prominent Egyptian citizen, Potiphar, who ultimately chooses the slave to become the head of his household. There, Joseph attracts the lustful imagination of his master's wife. She desperately tries to engage him in a relationship, yet he steadfastly refuses her.



Here is the Bible's description (2):



"Joseph was well-built and handsome in his appearance. After a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, 'Come to bed with me.' But he refused. He said: 'With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against G-d?'"



Over the verb "but he refused," tradition has placed a shalsheles, the thrice-repeated musical note.



What is the significance of this rare note on this particular verb?



There is one more intriguing detail in this narrative, concerning the way the Bible reports Joseph's response to the woman's proposition. When his master's wife asks him to lie with her, we would expect Joseph to first explain to her why he cannot accept her offer, and then conclude by saying "no." Yet the Bible tells us that the first thing Joseph did was refuse her. Only afterward does he justify his refusal. Why?



The Struggle



Joseph's refusal, we must remember, was not devoid of ambivalence and struggle. On the one hand, his entire moral sense said: No. It would be a betrayal of everything his family stood for - its ethic of sexual propriety and its strong sense of identity as children of the covenant. It would also be, as Joseph himself explained to the woman, a betrayal of her husband and a sin to G-d.



And yet the temptation, Tradition tells us (3), was intense. We could understand why. Joseph is an 18-year-old slave in a foreign country. He does not even own his body; his master exercised full control over his life, as was the fate of all ancient slaves. Joseph has not a single friend or relative in the world. His mother died when he was 9 years old, and his father thought he was dead. His siblings were the ones who sold him into slavery, robbing him of his youth and liberty. One could only imagine the profound sense of loneliness that pervaded the heart of this gifted and handsome teen-ager.



A person in such isolation is not only overtaken by extremely powerful temptations to alleviate his solitariness and distress, but very likely may feel that a single action of his makes little difference in the ultimate scheme of things.


After all, what was at stake if Joseph succumbed to this woman's demands? Nobody was ever likely to find out what had occurred between the two. Joseph would not need to return home in the evening to face a dedicated spouse or a spiritual father, nor would he have to go back to a family or a community of moral standing. His family's reputation would not be besmirched as a result of this act. He would remain alone after the event, just as he was alone before it. So what's the big deal to engage in a snapshot relationship?



In addition, we must take into consideration the power possessed by this Egyptian noblewoman who was inciting Joseph. She was in the position of being able to turn Joseph's life into a paradise or a living hell. In fact, she did just that, having him incarcerated for life in prison in an Egyptian dungeon on the false charges that he attempted to violate her. (At the end, he was freed after 12 years.)



The Talmud (4) describes the techniques the woman used in order to persuade Joseph. "Each and every day," the Talmud says, "the wife of Potiphar would attempt to seduce him with words. Cloth she wore for him in the morning she would not wear for him in the evening. Cloth she wore for him in the evening she would not wear for him in the morning. She said to him, 'Surrender yourself to me.' He answered her 'No.' She threatened him, 'I shall confine you in prison...I shall subdue your proud stature...I will blind your eyes,'" but Joseph refused her. She then gave him a huge sum of money, but he did not budge.



Joseph's rejection required tremendous fortitude. The Talmud (5) gives a graphic description of his inner torment:



"The image of his father appeared to him in the window and said, 'Joseph, your brothers' names are destined to be inscribed on the stones of the [high priest's] apron, and you will be among them. Do you want your name to be erased? Do you want to be called an adulterer?'"



A Thundering No



How, then, did Joseph overcome this enormous temptation?



The answer is captured in the three biblical words and in their "shalsheles" musical note: "But he refused."



Aware of the profound danger that he might fall prey to immoral behavior, the first thing Joseph did was present the woman with a thundering "no." As the thrice repetitive "shalsheles" note suggests, Joseph, in unwavering determination, declared three times: "No! No! No!" Forget about it, I will not do this! No buts, ifs or maybes. Only afterward, did Joseph allow himself the indulgence of the rational argument against adultery.



When it comes to temptation or addiction, you can't be rational and polite. You must be determined, ruthless and single-minded. You must monotonously and stubbornly repeat the same "no" over and over again. Never allow room for nuance, negotiation or ambivalence. The moment you begin explaining and justifying your behavior, you are likely to lose the battle. Only after an absolute and non-negotiable "no" can you proceed with the intellectual argument behind your decision.


The Push

 

There is an insightful expression in the Kabbalah about the way a person should deal with immoral and destructive fantasies, thoughts and impulses. "You must push them away with both of your hands," says Rabbi Schnuer Zalman of Liadi in his Tanya (6).



What does it mean to push away a thought with two hands?



At times, you can push away a negative thought with one hand only. By fighting and arguing with the impulse, you give it validation. In effect, while pushing it away with one hand, you are inviting it to return with your second hand.



Pushing an impulse away with two hands means that you simply and silently dismiss it from your brain. Without argument, fanfare or drama, you just make it very clear that it is unwelcome in your life and you must move on to alternative thoughts and actions. You do not validate it in any way, not even by arguing against it. You simply do not attribute any power or significance to it. That is what we call pushing it away with both hands. Sooner or later, it will cease trying to come back.



In this story of Joseph, then, we are given a timeless lesson of how to deal with our own ugly lusts and inclinations. Your demons are smarter than you think they are; do not try to strike deals with them. Just say: No! No! No! They will accuse you of being ignorant and stupid. So what? You will come out with a happy marriage and a meaningful life. (7)

God bless you my freind

wishing you the very best

I have read many anecdotes over the years and his one would make my top ten list for sure.

Are we "low" Jews?

perhaps

we are like a leaky bucket

but chanuka ,the darkness turning into light,should tell us that there are great gifts that a "leaky bucket" can give to the world

we learn that we are truely blessed to be "low" Jews,to be in places where God finds it very important to come down to and be with us and that is a revelation that is given to us on Chanukah,He goes lower than ten tefachim,to us.

For some strange inexplicable reason,He desires our company.

He takes great pleasure to be with us

and gives us very unexpected great gifts as the gift that came forth from the very leaky bucket   


THE LEAKY BUCKET

In the very olden times, there was once a great queen. This queen had many, many servants to take care of every task. One particular servant was responsible for bringing water from the well to the queen's table. However, it was a long journey from the castle to the well from which fresh, clean and pure water could be obtained. As this was the time before cars and other convenient machines, the servant carried two buckets - one attached to each end of a long stick - to transport water back to the castle. One of the buckets was new - it shone in the sunlight and it was perfect in every way. The other bucket was older and it had a small hole on one side which caused water to leak from it onto the ground, along the road back to the castle.

Thus, whenever, the servant arrived back to the castle, although he had filled 2 buckets of water, he had only 1? to present to the queen. This caused the leaky bucket great distress. Twice a day when the servant picked up the buckets to go to the well, the older one would look longingly at the new one, “Oh, why can't I be as shiny and flawless as the other?” the bucket would bemoan. The leaky bucket would cast envious looks at the new bucket since not a single drop fell from its new, glistening metal. It tried every possible way of shifting its weight, of rotating its sides to minimize the leakage, but all to no avail. It could retain no more than 1/2 bucket through the long walk back to the castle.

One day, the leaking bucket was distraught and cried out to the servant, "why don't you just throw me away? I'm of no use to you. I can do barely 1/2 the work of your new bucket. You have to walk such a long way back and forth to the well and I leak out half of the water you fill me with. The queen is such a good, noble, divine queen. I want to serve her as well as your new. But I can't; I can't even give her a full bucket of water."

The servant was very wise (sometimes wisdom lies hidden in places where we don't expect it). He said to the bucket, "Look down. Look below you on the path to the castle, the path upon which you leak your water." The bucket at first was too ashamed to look and see drops of precious water scattered on the ground. When it finally looked, however, it noticed a thick row of beautiful flowers - so many lush, blossoming varieties - lining the path with vibrancy and beauty.

"Every day I pick these flowers to decorate the queen’s table and her room," the servant said. "When I noticed that you were leaking, I planted seeds all along the path on your side of the road. Then, twice a day you come and water them. Now, they have grown and blossomed into the queen's favourite centerpiece. She says their fragrance calms her mind and brings peace to her heart. So, you see, you are not useless at all. Rather, you are serving two purposes - both to bring water (albeit half a bucket) and to bring beautiful flowers to the queen's castle

Dear Yechida,

Sitting here in the bagel shop eating some nova and cream cheese on a jalapeno bagel reading the bucket story and crying from the beauty Hashem creates out of my drippy, sad mess.  I just met with a beautiful addict and we talked together for an hour. The entire thing is a beautiful miracle. Thank-you very much for the gratitude you have given me.

Giteh Shabbos