Forgive me if I have a LOT I'd like to say, and no time to really say it all, and no ability to know what might be offensive, or hopefully comforting, or even (dream upon dreams) supportive/useful.

So I'll pick one little thing. And it's something you surely know already, but that's not stopping me.

I believe in the notion that there are THREE PARTIES to a marriage. No, not the man, the woman, and Hashem. (Although that's true.) I mean, the husband, the wife, and the "marriage" itself as a separate entity.

Your wife might seem to be hating YOU, but she might actually be hating the MARRIAGE. You might also be resenting HER, but your pain might actually be from the MARRIAGE. Those are two different kinds of pain on your part. You might be suffering (!) from both. But they're not the same pain, and they don't share a common solution.

In fact, you and your wife might share a lot more than you think these days: you share a hatred for the MARRIAGE. And at some point in your journey, I predict you're gonna find yourself with your wife on board - by your side - as you work on this marriage you currently are the opposite of "in love" with.

Anyhow, this is probably Social Work 101 but I can't get it off my mind. Now I can. Like all the comments on GYE, it's worth only what you pay for it (i.e., zero) but please understand they're all coming from love and concern even when they don't "fit." Thanks.

Thank you Dov and Briut for your insightful words. I do have a bunch to say/ask in response, but it will have to wait until later when I am at a computer.

Thanks and we'll talk soon.

Thanks Briut, that was big.

how r u? i can relate to some of the lonliness within a marriage. i can imagine some of what u r going though. Baruch Hashem ,this is a safe place and the chevra is gevaldige at giving chizuk. My heart goes out to u.
hope your children are not suffering from the lack of Shalom bayis.what else is going on in your life?