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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
TOPIC: Maccabee's War 4634 Views
Re: Maccabee's War 02 Mar 2011 20:46 #99306
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Re: Maccabee's War 03 Mar 2011 01:07 #99333
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Please let me know where the wedding you go to are at so I could eat the extra cake. Always make sure to call me before its too late!!
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Re: Maccabee's War 03 Mar 2011 01:22 #99334
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Re: Maccabee's War 03 Mar 2011 18:25 #99439
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Me3 wrote on 03 Mar 2011 01:22:
Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 02 Mar 2011 20:46: Thanks ZemirosShabbos for sticking up for me & defending my honor. (I am not as humble as Dov!) I am not an addict who has hit rock-bottom in Dov's Style. I do not see it ruining my life completely. I wouldn't have wanted to stop if not for my being Jewish. As a Jew though, I do want to stop. With a Toradig attitude I hope to attain Recovery - someday! So you agree that you are an addict, you just unfortunately haven't realized how bad off you are yet. You have my sympathies. Welcome to GYE. You are a great guy, so I took the liberty to lay all this out to you. Hope we are still buds.... 
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"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: Maccabee's War 03 Mar 2011 18:30 #99440
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Re: Maccabee's War 03 Mar 2011 19:31 #99454
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Re: Maccabee's War 04 Mar 2011 03:55 #99521
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"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: Maccabee's War 05 Mar 2011 22:42 #99656
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For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee |
Re: Maccabee's War 06 Mar 2011 05:18 #99689
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ben durdayah wrote on 05 Mar 2011 22:42:
I dunno... I sort of feel like the Joe Righteous sort of fellow, but I think that I would classify as addicted because of the fact that even when I have everything going for me, much at stake, etc. etc. But like Yosef HaTzaddik - If I were a non-Jew, I can't say that I would have the mentchlichkeit not to follow the darker sides of my ta'aivos into oblivionAre there many goyim in recovery programs who have "turned themselves" into mentchen due to their mentchlichkeit rather than follow their 'dark sides'? I think not. In this business, the goyim are exactly the same as the Jews. Exactly. I believe it is poshut that if we had the mentchlichkeit to "turn ourselves around", then we would not have went so wrong in the first place. That is why most goyim (or Jews) in recovery will give the credit to their Higher Power rather that say (or believe) that they had the moral fortitude to "finally have had enough with this disgusting behavior". Rather, recovery is almost always attributed to coming to believe that they simply could not do it any more. Not because they mustn't - they knew that long ago - but only because they cannot afford to. If anything, I see my recovery as the opposite of mentchlichkeit. It is enlightened self-interest. And for that reason, I have never - and I mean never - seen a single sober SA guy look down on the depravity of porn users (and as you may know, the porn many of us here like to watch is usually a lot dirtier and more embarrassing than we care to clarify - hence the rather clean term "porn") or philanderers (eww...what skotzim). At the worst, a sober SA guy will just shake his head and say something like, "If they are miserable, I hope they end up here. But if it's working for them, then I can't blame for staying out there, for I certainly wouldn't have come here unless I had no other option." And Boruch Hashem for that, for the alternative would be imagining that we are tzaddikim for being sober - and that's a lie, and also very silly. That's why the only guys I meet in SA who make fun of the guys who end up back in front of the computer every few weeks - are not sober themselves. Kind of like the GYE folks who I read posting things that the Gemarah in Kiddushin calls: "an arrow in the eye of the YH!" - here, they say things like "go kill that YH and blast him to SMITHEREEEENS!!!" - and those of you who have been here for over a year and a half will remember that frequent mantra. Not a winner, even in the hands of Tony Robbins. If you are waiting until what you are doing finally becomes morally unacceptable to you - I suggest you quit waiting, cause it's just a lie. It will never become morally reprehensible to make you stop. Na'aseh lo k'heter is the Truth by aveiros, and it is certainly common in addictions, too. Every guy I meet describes shock and amazement at how low he sank. Folks do not often quit because - "woah, this was just too low! I gotta quit!" - the ones who believe they are just 'too moral' to act out any more are usually sober for a month, 90 days, or whatever...then go back 'out' - starting from where they left off. Surprise! It was just gayva from the very start that kept them drinking/acting out, and they said, "I am morally superior to those drunks - and they are goyim yet! I will recover for moral reasons!" Puleese. So much for the addict's morality: Instead of bringing some of us who needed to into recovery faster, it goes a long way to making us worse and worse until the really ugly stuff starts becoming passe. And finally, I know of talmidei chachomim and ehrligher yiddin who may very well be far more ehrlich than either me, Yosef hatzaddik, you, Guard, or anyone - who nevertheless spent years and years teaching Torah and descending further every few months or years. That is a pity, no? I am not arguing with anyone here, just stating the way I see things and I know I may be seeing completely wrong. It wouldn't be the first time! .... After all, despite the fact that you know so many gentiles who have turned themselves into mentchen with the anonymous programs -there are so many more (Jews and gentiles alike) who have driven themselves off the proverbial (and literal) cliff of their addictions until they died as a direct or indirect result! Y'know, every time I hear that I believe that many folks here disqualify 12-step recovery for themselves because they think that it is only for guys who are seeing prostitutes or molesting children and getting arrested, or messing with AIDS-infected types (or getting caught by their dangerous husbands!). And they are there....but at least 50% of the SA guys I have met so far are strictly porn-users (y'know, the more moral types, like us). So it does not have to be a deadly situation - just something that we really feel is messing up our lives. And (really finally,) while I am mentioning that, i will share that i have already met more than a handful of GYE members who did not admit it on the forum, but are busy seeing prostitutes when they are not posting about how horrible their porn and masturbation problem is. I do not know where I am really going with this, but just thought to mention in in context with what you wrote. So I think that it is only my definition of life as being a Jew who is close with Hashem (because that's the way I was created) is what makes me view involvement with pornography or mast****** as life threatening.Yes. That may be so. I really believe you can make it 100% of the way with that - but that hole in the eye of the needle really needs to be me'eiver l'eiver (through and through) as the Kotzker would say. So to examine it myself I'd think : If I really believe that it was life-threatening to myself, then why was I have been acting out so much recently? Wasn't it life-threatening? When did it occur to me that it was life-threatening (for religious and spiritual reasons)? Just now? Ten minutes ago? A month ago? A year ago? I am not posting any of this due to any lack of respect, but to ask you if you are really seeing any evidence of a change-of-heart that would make a difference. "Chizzuk" is nice. And that's about all it is. Nice. Is the danger of messing around b'chush to you, or not, and if it was before too, then that may be evidence that it never really was - and we may not know "b'chush" if we tripped over it... Maybe you have had such a change-of-heart. But is that kind of a change enough to get you and me to take the steps necessary to really live differently? Time will tell each of us, I guess. In my own case, i definitely had a change-of-heart. And nevertheless, it would have been lorik - fruitless - if I had not taken actual steps to change. Staying on the other end of a virtual computer screen or telephone, I would have remained the same man. Being too chicken to actually show my face to another recovering person to work together - proves i am too subservient to the addiction - if I am an addict, at all. And I would not be here today - cu I am an addict. Was that confusing? No. ED |
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"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: Maccabee's War 06 Mar 2011 17:04 #99752
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Re: Maccabee's War 06 Mar 2011 17:42 #99761
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For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee |
Re: Maccabee's War 07 Mar 2011 10:26 #99888
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Re: Maccabee's War 07 Mar 2011 10:29 #99889
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Re: Maccabee's War 07 Mar 2011 10:33 #99890
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Re: Maccabee's War 07 Mar 2011 10:39 #99892
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